Polly Mertens: 0:26

hey, superstars, welcome back polly here and samantha pruitt.

Samantha Pruitt: 0:29

What’s up, my beautiful humans, good morning good morning. Hey you guys, so good morning. The sun is setting, oh well, I could be a sunrise people.

Polly Mertens: 0:37

Well, I guess that is the west coast. So yeah, so what? We’re laughing at? Samantha and I are recording this on a zoom and so we have little backdrops. So if you’re listening to this, you’re like what are they talking about? Sunset Buds. So you’re in the Grand Canyon. I’m at the beach.

Samantha Pruitt: 0:51

Exactly, and we also didn’t plan that we were both going to be wearing our trans Rockies race shirts. We did not plan that. That’s hilarious and you’re drinking out of your Morro Bay 70.3 mug. We have matching mugs, I mean, and we’re in totally different places with our brown glasses on. This is how connected energy works. All these things that are not planned are just unfolding and it happens every day, and it’s part of our topic today that we’re going to discuss, which is Gratitude and grace. Oh, my goodness.

Polly Mertens: 1:30

This was your idea and I love it. So one of the things that you know, I know you listen to a lot of podcasts and I have too and there’s some podcasts that are so scripted and so well done because the person puts clearly hours of research into it and hours of writing, and you know they get all these beautiful words and then they just read it beautifully Well they have a team darling a dozen or more people behind them.

Samantha Pruitt: 1:54

professional, I mean, we have each other, which is even way better, by the way. So we’ve got a lot of skills girl what?

Polly Mertens: 2:02

I’m saying is like we are. So this episode is probably the most like just just hit record. Like this is them too. This, this, what you’re going to get today, is the most just hit record, because often we get together and we talk about what we’re going to talk about before we talk about it, if you know what I mean. And we just said hit record like we’re going to spend half an hour having beautiful conversation and it should all go in the recording. So you guys are going to get the raw and real today, which is, yeah, we don’t really even know where it’s going, but the content, the topic, is so inspiring to each of us, especially you with what you’ve been through recently with your brother. So that’s where it’s birthed from the idea and I want you to open us up with that and then we’ll see where this goes with our listeners.

Samantha Pruitt: 2:46

Well, the cool thing about our style is we riff a lot and we do have, we do research and read and all these things. But our entire library and this will continue to be the case comes from our real life experiences. Either we are personally experiencing it, and it absolutely bubbles up genuine, authentic real time, or we’re experiencing it with a coaching client, another human, so again it’s humans out experiencing things, and then we come to the table and we dialogue and unpack and explore all of that raw humanity on the podcast. So to me, this is why we’re even doing it If we have one listener and they feel connected to us in a way that changes their physical, spiritual, emotional life winning, winning.

Polly Mertens: 3:38

Yeah, yeah, and that’s what Everyday Awesome Project is for us too. It’s like us putting our slant, our spin. Day awesome project is for us too. It’s like us putting our slant, our spin Cause. One thing I heard you say when we were preparing for this, and you’ll tell the story of where you’ve been for the past week you know, caring for your brother, but, um, it’s like you are helping him see the moments that gratitude exists or something to appreciate, right, and that’s where. That’s who we are Like. That’s the reflection we are to the world, like in the world we show up as doing our best and grace.

Polly Mertens: 4:09

Yeah, and it’s just like we can all do this, we can all be this, and and so tell us about where, where you’ve been this past week and what’s going on over in your world.

Samantha Pruitt: 4:19

My dear, yeah, so we’re talking about gratitude and grace and we’ll start with gratitude. But the backstory about what I’m up to right now and why this is so pertinent for me is I am spending the week with my brother. My brother is in cancer treatment and he’s been so for four months, but it was a long journey, so six months before that just trying to understand what was going on. He also has an underlying autoimmune disease, so it took us a long time to kind of figure that out and I do too. So talking and doctors and all this stuff and down the path to discovery, unfortunately, that there is also cancer disease state that had set in to his body. So now he’s been in treatment for four months. I’ve been coming and going and trying to partake in whatever way to support him and his wife on this incredibly difficult journey. And so this week being here with him and it’s been like this before but like there’s a progression, right. So at this point obviously he’s deep into his treatment, so he’s losing a lot of weight, there’s a lot of pain, there’s a lot of suffering, that’s going on, and so in spending time with him and he’s the most amazing person, and so when I think of grace. Literally, this man just exemplifies that walking around in the world he gives so much grace to everyone in his space. So it’s interesting for me to watch him and learn from his example. Not that I’m horrible at it, but I could be better at providing grace for the people around who are providing him care, who are just, you know, offering kindness.

Samantha Pruitt: 5:58

They have an incredible friend group that they’re very. They call it the A-team. Incredible friend group that they’re very. They call it the A-team. By the way, their friend group is the A-team. So watching and witnessing and partaking my role has been not only to help do research and around the science of you know, and the healing modalities and the different things we can try to ease some of the suffering, but to bring about awareness and create really a space, an elevated space beyond his already existing awareness, to what is so beautiful and to have gratitude for these little micro moments.

Samantha Pruitt: 6:39

And they’re very small things, you know, but it’s like sitting and having a cup of coffee out on the patio. They live with some mountain trails nearby and looking at the trails and listening to the birds. He’s a big bike rider, big outdoorsman. He’s not able to do these things right now, but he can be out in nature still, and so things like that. Or like I helped him discover a new coffee shop nearby and then we went out and had a little date right and we sat on the patio and we had a gluten-free muffin. They make gluten-free muffins. He’s gluten-free also, so you wouldn’t believe the joy that came out of eating splitting this gluten-free muffin. I mean, we took an hour to eat a muffin and we just were like we’re like you know. So it’s little things like that and yeah, just creating awareness and space for the people that you love and for yourself.

Polly Mertens: 7:31

And I think you know, I don’t know, you know there’s so many podcasts I’ve listened to in the science of how the energetic state of the mind can helps the healing of the body Right, and so 100 percent helps the healing of the body right and so 100% I mean. There’s movies I’ve watched where, you know, people have had some miraculous recovery happen because they put themselves only in a state of low stress, gratitude, practices, calmness, like, not like, pushing out away from their space their energy, anything that could create stress or tension or resistance in their body. And you being there as holding the container and the cup for like, like, like, let’s get the healing vibration, let’s allow it to heal right, because the body knows what to do. It’s us, you know. We just don’t let those outward things if you will interact with it, and so we just create this container, this space for his body to heal.

Samantha Pruitt: 8:23

Yeah, we’ve really looked at what’s on the television and what kind of noise is coming into the room. So, you know, news has been turned off, like it’s all of these things that in no way are serving his physical or emotional state. And there is a lot of tension, fear, anxiety in the body when it is fighting a disease. And while I was here and I’m very grateful that I was here he ended up contracting another secondary infection. We had to go to ER.

Samantha Pruitt: 8:54

He’s currently in the hospital as we speak and so all of those things like the body is trying to heal, but it’s, you know, it’s bumping into things and so you want to, as much as possible, even us on our daily, as we’re healthy individuals currently um allow that body to be not burdened with additional resistance, additional load that is coming from your external environment, so important, and so it is really amazing to have these conversations and and he’s so open and so about this. You know, but a lot of people out there are listeners, possibly, or people that they are friends and family with don’t have this awareness. So the number one step to creating grace and gratitude in your, in your life, is having awareness. What does it even mean? What does it look like? How can I find it?

Polly Mertens: 9:52

because it’s just there waiting you know something that’s interesting, that there’s all these little ideas that popped in my head when you were talking. One of them is um, so I have a daily gratitude practice in my morning routine, right when I. What helps with that? So there’s like five things I want to say about that. But one of the things is, as I think back to you know, like the coaching or the prompting, if you will. I listened to this.

Polly Mertens: 10:20

This prompting that’s like remember a time when you, you know, felt love or gratitude for a friend or a person, and then remember another moment and then remember another moment. So it’s like three moments and you’re and they, and every every day I do it. I don’t always go to the same one. Some days I have like a run where it’s like for five days in a row I’ll remember, you know, the same thing and it’s wonderful, right, it’s, it’s just juicy. And then I’ve been doing it recently, and last week I noticed how little gratitude I walked through my life with for like the first third of my life.

Samantha Pruitt: 10:55

Wow, same, same, ouch. Well, I didn’t have awareness, I didn’t know, I was kind of numb.

Polly Mertens: 11:04

Zombie survival mode Same for you, like I was not walking through, like today, my experience, I’m going to get all choked up because it brings so much more presence to my life. So, losing my kitty cat you know my precious girl two years ago, and I still have two kitty cats and every time I pet them and I hold them, I’m so grateful, like you know, because I can’t, because I can’t, you know, I can’t hold her, I can’t touch her. I you know I have little videos and that’s great, but now I spend moments with my kitty cats and I was like deeply present with this experience right now. And you know, another one for me was, um, uh, I had a cold about a week or two ago and before I knew it was a cold, I was just feeling like crap.

Polly Mertens: 12:08

I was like, you know, you go through menopause and it’s like things change. And then it was like early stage of this cold and I just was like driving and I was like I do not feel well. I just had this awareness like I do not feel well, and I started to get am I never going to feel well again? You know exactly, it’s when we get close to losing some, losing those things, preciousness yeah.

Polly Mertens: 12:37

And now I’m feeling better and I’m like, oh my God, you know, just I want to appreciate my body’s ability to hike and walk and hug and play, and yeah, so I don’t pull myself together over here.

Samantha Pruitt: 12:52

Well it’s. It’s interesting that you said that, because until things get slippery and possibly you could lose, or you see it could go away, or you see the possibility of it not existing, whether it’s the being or the doing, right, yeah, that’s wake the hell up moments. My brother and I were talking last night. I was visiting him in the hospital and we were talking about travel he and his wife, big world travelers, world travelers and just the love for travel and experiencing other cultures and people and all these things. And so he had this whole, all these stories. We were just telling all these stories, which is so fun to do with people and stories we were just telling all these stories, which is so fun to do with people and, by the way, we need to do that more. And then I pivoted the conversation into future travel. Right, it’s challenging for him for right now to see out the other side of this moment, this healing crisis. It’s a moment. I have had big illness, healing crises multiple times. You’ve experienced these things in big or major levels with your own life and body, and so when you’re in it, it’s hard to be like boy, am I ever going to feel good enough again to get that back, and so of course we will. If we believe, then we will, because that’s what happens in my experience and what I witnessed, right. So, like future planning of trips. So then we started future planning of all these trips.

Samantha Pruitt: 14:13

Well, where do you want to go? Well, what about this, what about that? And he’s telling me, you got to go, you got to go do that trail and do this and that. And I’m like you got to go, maybe we’ll go together. If you could ride your bike across any state or country, where would you ride your bike? You know he’s a huge cyclist, like all of those things. And then you just feel the human, and even myself, like coming to life, like yes, that’s in my future. That’s happening. Sometimes, you know, the world goes a little bit dark and we don’t see those opportunities. We get fearful that they are limited or fleeting or that our relationships might terminate. Eventually, all relationships terminate. That’s the cycle of life right.

Samantha Pruitt: 14:57

And we’ve talked before on this show about having awareness and gratitude, which is the first part of this conversation. We’re up to our eyeballs in, now, around you. Don’t have forever to be with that person, to be in this particular health state, to be in this particular place, time or experience, and so if your eyes are not wide open and your ears are not wide open, in other words, put the damn cell phone down. Yeah, on the hell, I take the earbuds out. The people that are walking around in that state are so disconnected from the real world, from the other humans and from themselves. It’s just. It blows my mind. It blows my mind.

Polly Mertens: 15:46

We’ve got to stop this about. You know future, presencing yourself to. You know hope and you know bouncing off of creating gratitude, for like the hope that you can have to, you know not more than hope, but like the inspiration of going somewhere and doing new things and feeling back great in your body again and stuff. Um, I read this thing that was like um, this guy on this podcast, I think, was talking about how we never know when something is the last time for something oh no, we don’t do it.

Polly Mertens: 16:16

And it was like he’s like you know, I used to be a skier ski, ski, ski, whatever, and he’s like. And then one day I couldn’t ski anymore and he goes. You know, I never. If I had known the last time I was gonna ski was gonna be the last time I was gonna ski, I think I would have been different.

Samantha Pruitt: 16:34

And you would have never gotten off the mountain. By the way, they’re like killing you off the mountain, you know. You’re literally like getting in the last run and you can barely stand because your quads are so and you’re like I’m going and yet we are swimming in the ocean. Just the idea of like never again swimming in the ocean, never again skiing, never again getting on your bike. Um, I keep bringing back the bike thing because my brother’s a big roadie, right. So I’m like we’re setting up your bike in the garage on the bike trainer. I don’t care if you do it two out, two minutes, so, excuse me, two minutes a day. I don’t actually care if you just sit on the bike, to be clear, like it is part of you.

Polly Mertens: 17:14

It is part of who you are. It’s going to remind him of what he’s capable and what he is, and yeah, exactly and then working back towards those things.

Samantha Pruitt: 17:24

But I think a lot of people. I’m not blaming Western medicine, but there is in some instances a problem with Western medicine where it does bring on limiting beliefs from the doctor the environment, the whatever, whatever.

Polly Mertens: 17:43

If we let it.

Samantha Pruitt: 17:44

if we let it into the conversation, into the space, you can decide to receive that and take it on as your truth, or you can decide not to Thank you for your opinion. Exactly.

Polly Mertens: 17:56

Thank you for your opinion, but I will not be accepting that diagnose. Oh my gosh.

Samantha Pruitt: 18:02

Just through our aging and menopause journey, how many people have told me hey, you know, your running days are just over. You’re like you should. Just who the hell Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? You are so confused. You absolutely shouldn’t be talking to me this way. But also, please don’t talk to anyone this way.

Polly Mertens: 18:21

Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt: 18:22

Okay, I will decide my own future in life and excuse me, person in a lab coat you will do the same. I’m giving you grace to do that. You give me grace to do this.

Polly Mertens: 18:33

Yeah, and I think it’s helpful to share gratitude and how it shows up for us and how we embody it and view it, you know. So I just described, you know, my morning routine, like I said, you know, decades of my life, no gratitude, like, hey, I was just sleepwalking through life, I didn’t, I wasn’t conscious, I just thought I was a human being and a body and I had a personality and I had no connection to anything else. And now I I do, and so gratitude gives me that presence of um preciousness. And you know, honestly, it was funny this is a weird little side note but I did a mushroom journey. You know, I did mushroom healing, just experiences, but not like doing mushrooms at a party or something like that, but doing psilocybin in a you know set and setting that was designed for therapeutic purposes and so on that journey I got this experience, samantha, of like going into nothingness, like becoming just like what maybe we become when we die, which is connected to all things, like I had no body and whatever.

Samantha Pruitt: 19:42

You were just energy, I was just energy.

Polly Mertens: 19:44

Yeah, and it was just sort of like this, and the only way I can describe it was kind of like this, like black nothingness. But I felt fine, like I felt there was. There was no resistance, there was no form, there was no light, there was. It was just like. And then all of a sudden I was able to come back into my body and I was like, oh my God, I really enjoy being in this body. Oh my God, I really liked the tactile Like, like it just was such an appreciation for what this human fucking experience is like getting to have a body and touch people and see light and see beauty and feel pain and all this, all these experiences. It was like I get to do that when I’m, when I’m a blob, and I’m like formless, shapeless. I don’t get those experiences and so I’m like I want to just stay in this body as long as possible and touch all the things and touch, touch.

Samantha Pruitt: 20:37

That’s such a critical thing to bring up is the touching of ourselves. You know, like I work on my feet, I, whatever all the things that we’re making and painting, da, da, da, I work on others and touch others. So do you right? So like that amount of like, touch and connection with ourselves and other? Oh my gosh, that’s so powerful. I’m so glad that you have that afterward.

Polly Mertens: 21:09

I mean, we’ll just all be connected in oneness and instead, like we have the ability to feel all the feelings. You know, and I wanted to weave into this a little bit when I think about gratitude, where this started for me was my um, my, you know, study of abraham hicks, and that body of work and that’s where my morning routine came from was out of there in a morning routine and, um, I just one of the kind of like and I don’t have the exact words, but it’s like appreciating all of it, right. So one of the things that helped me understand us as creators is so they describe a three-step process. You ask you, so wait, ask, receive and allow, or something like that. Right, so it’s you. You ask for what you want, like, you have a moment of gosh, I’d really love X, your brother right now is deeply asking for his health back, right, you know, I want to feel well in my body, I want to feel vital and alive. And then you receive, like the energy comes to you and then we have to allow it in. We have to receive it right. Ask and then receive. Ask and it is given, you know, in some biblical forms, whatever, but it’s like what Abraham has said is like the asking often comes out of the contrast, right. So when we ask, it’s like I don’t want that. You know, I have disease in my body. I don’t want it. I ask for wellness, right. So it’s the actual disease allows me to create wellness, it allows me to ask, it allows the creative process, the generative process of what we are here for.

Polly Mertens: 22:50

So when we shit on, we negate, we resist things that show up in our life, we’re actually not understanding the whole process. That is when we create more. That is when we create and step into what could be. You know it could be as simple as, like you know, I want a new car. You know that could be an ask. Or I want a better job. Or I want health or relationship or whatever. Those are often birthed out of the contrast I don’t have a car I want. I don’t have a relationship, I want contrast. I don’t have a car I want. I don’t have a relationship I want. I don’t have the love, that, whatever. That’s when we ask and we generate as an energy being the potential, right, and then we have to allow it in and align with it, if you will. So when we negate whatever’s showing up, we’re like wait a minute, this is the process, you know, like this is how we came to be creators hello, don’t resist the suffering.

Polly Mertens: 23:34

So I see Suffering is optional. So there’s resistance, and then suffering is the story we tell ourselves.

Samantha Pruitt: 23:39

Pain, discomfort, whatever the thing is Right. There is definitely part of that receiving and healing journey. This is emotional, physical. This is mental. All the things. Emotion. This is emotional, physical, this is mental, all the things where um, more so than ever but this is historically what a lot of humans have done is they have numbed that feeling and avoided that feeling and done everything to circumnavigate and get the hell away from avoid pain, pain, pain, yeah, no pain.

Polly Mertens: 24:08

Go through life no pain which is impossible.

Samantha Pruitt: 24:11

We’re humans. We’re humans. It’s so messy and so chaotic and there’s all the things happening and what you’re saying is allow that to come in and through. So the opportunity for solution and healing and something different to be there.

Polly Mertens: 24:31

Because I also think so. What you just said prompted me too. So, as you know, I’ve had this big project that I’ve taken on, got a lot of workload and things going on, and it’s not where I want to be ultimately. You know like it’s a transition period and you know I bring order to chaos. So there’s a lot of chaos and I’m like, fuck, chaos, there’s so much chaos. I just want it to be ordered right, Like that’s. That’s my creative process, that’s what I do, that’s what I’m here for, Part of my gift. But I sit now and I what I appreciate in the gift of the resistance that feels like this shouldn’t be happening. Why is there so much chaos? It’s like, wait a minute, that’s what I’m here for, you know, and so I’m here to do this. So if I resist doing it, that’s silly, right, Like that’s, that’s part of my gift. If I didn’t have chaos, if there wasn’t chaos in the world, I couldn’t bring order to it Like it would just be like how boring everything’s already done.

Polly Mertens: 25:24

I feel like everything’s already done. You know, instead, I’m like I’m in it and so I feel like this push pull inside of me like God, this is so screwed up. And then I’m like, yeah, but I really like fixing it. And then, you know, so it’s this moment to moment application of what we’re talking about, like gratitude and like you know what, I’m learning a ton and I see where the problems are and I’m going to smooth them out and I’m just going to iron this all out, but not being like, if I hold my fits and I hold my stake into this, sucks, this sucks, I don’t open the doorway to the resolution. The solution, things getting better, the health coming back, the you know, all those things.

Samantha Pruitt: 26:03

So you segued very nicely into this second word of this particular podcast, which is grace. And how I define grace for myself and what I witness in the world is a a not bumping into things, so coming up against that resistance. Sure, we bump into other people’s emotions, ideas, things that are not as we’d like them to be, but we can continue to just bump into them until we’re so calloused and pissed off and all the misery is there. Or we can be like, oh, let the resistance go, accept what is and do our part to either be part of a solution, a change, or not, by acceptance yeah, it’s pure, pure acceptance. Well, that’s how things seem to be here Now.

Samantha Pruitt: 26:58

I can choose to be here or not. I’m going to choose not because I’m not into hanging out in these environments. They’re not good for me and my physical, mental, spiritual health. So I’ll be doing something different now, but just accepting what it is and then moving on. I just like to me that’s grace, walking around in the world holding that state and you have some definitions that are maybe a little bit different, but that’s how it is For me. It’s not bumping into things, having more love and acceptance and hope and humanity.

Polly Mertens: 27:33

I’ll read one of them. So it’s a disposition to, or an act of, or instance of kindness, courtesy, clemency, and we’re like clemency. I haven’t heard that word in a while.

Samantha Pruitt: 27:45

So, clemency.

Polly Mertens: 27:45

Let’s be clear. There’s one definition An act of leniency or a disposition to be merciful Wow.

Samantha Pruitt: 27:54

With self or others.

Polly Mertens: 27:56

Exactly. I mean, you know, I think that if we’re not merciful, clemency, whatever kind to ourself, compassionate to ourself, we got no business. You know, it’s like you can’t give away what you don’t have, right, I think people often, you know, I think sometimes, um, we find when you get into eastern medicine, that oftentimes the diseases that are created, like a cancer or autoimmune and things like that is, people are not being, let’s say, merciful or compassionate with themselves. They’re giving, giving in their body things, yeah, and so often I think that, um, cancer can be, I have, there’s some beautiful things.

Polly Mertens: 28:41

You know, we didn’t do a lot of research before this, but I’ve heard some things about how cancer is often a comes into a person’s life to give them opportunity for reflection and it it’s like, like you know we were talking about, like you never know when your last is right. Well, people think this thing called life goes on forever and it’s like, well, if we just give you the same called cancer, you, you, you might, you know, you, if you survive it and you, you know, do some things to take care of yourself, you get more time, right, you get that extra window. But it’s often a wake-up call Like now is the time to learn some things. Learn some new behaviors towards self, new emotional states. Let go of the stress, whatever has been causing this, whatever has been bottled up. Maybe you need to let go of therapy.

Samantha Pruitt: 29:22

That goes for any disease in the body or in the mind.

Polly Mertens: 29:26

Yeah, right, yeah, I mean inside this human body that we’ve all been gifted. It’s really a delicate balance right now. I’m like, if you could see me, I’m opening up my hands, like imagine, you know, widening, like if you had a little bowl and you got a bigger bowl and you made a bigger bowl and then a bigger bowl. It’s like the capacity to hold space for whatever’s happening. You know, like you and I, as coaches, we have to have that capacity to hold someone that’s in turmoil or tension or trauma or whatever’s going on, or just you know they’re frustrated or whatnot, you know. So it’s holding that space and I think it’s also giving ourself that space and grace to allow things to be and to flow and to work out of ourselves. But okay, you had another thing you want to say please, to flow and to work out of ourselves.

Samantha Pruitt: 30:33

But okay, you had another thing you want to say, please? Well, on the grace conversation, you know I’ve been bearing witness to a lot of grace, so I like to walk around in the world being you know and offering grace to others, but being graceful with myself too. Like there are days right now where I have a big load of work, travel, family responsibility, travel and then I’m training for an iron woman, so talk about offering myself grace on the daily, right. I can be super crazy, cray and be like I have a training program I must be following, doing all these things. I have to finish this right, so I can be adding that additional pressure onto myself, or I can be like wow, life right now is a little complicated and I have limited time and energetic resources, so it’s going to be what it’s going to be. And on the daily and literally I do this probably a couple of times a day at this point I’m adjusting my schedule and my routine and all the things that I love so much. I love schedules and routines and plans Right, so I’m having to be offering myself so much grace around, being flexible, being open to what is and just accepting that okay.

Samantha Pruitt: 31:44

Well, today I can get in a 45 minute run, not a three hour training that I had planned, or I’m here and there. So there maybe is a pool, maybe there isn’t. Sometimes I have my bike. Sometimes, like, the amount of just having to constantly adapt and be flexible is me offering myself grace continuously throughout the day. So that’s one thing I wanted to say. Grace to the self is really, really important, because if I don’t have grace for the self, how can I offer it to the others around me? You know, I would operate instead from a very restricted, rigid place that would be full of anxiety and fear and all these things, and I can’t, I refuse to go out into the world like that. So I wouldn’t do that to myself.

Polly Mertens: 32:34

Yeah, I think there’s just tones that we can have in life, you know, and there’s different phases and seasons too, right, there’s seasons of your life when not so much is going on, or not much caretaking or whatever, and when we resist the life that is happening. We’re in it, we’re as happening around us, to us, we care to be a part of. I mean, you could just blow your brother off and go train the shit out of you know your day. You’d be like you know I’ve given enough time here. See you, bye. You know I’m going to go. You know that could be the tone that you’re in, right, and not nothing against whoever. Whatever is going on for you, it’s us deciding what the fabric of our life and the unfolding of the path, how it’s going to be. You know, and that’s the choosing it’s. You know very how it’s going to be. You know, and that’s the choosing it’s, you know very values based, I would say Right. So what’s?

Samantha Pruitt: 33:18

important to you Exactly.

Polly Mertens: 33:20

You know you have high values of family and people and connection and community and things like that. You also have a high, you know, moral standard for yourself of like, being disciplined and excellence and pursuing these things and it’s that juggle Right and I think it’s like you said, on the daily, it’s looking at what is life presenting to me. Let me check in with myself and my values. If I went this road and I did this, if I just left and, you know, went and got on my bike for three hours and I didn’t spend this a quality time or whatever, how would I feel? You know, like what? What is grace allowing me in this moment to choose, like and and be? Recognize that it’s a choice. It’s not nobody’s you know, whipping you and so you’re not a. Recognize that it’s a choice. It’s not nobody’s, you know, whipping you and so you’re not a professional athlete. It’s not like, oh, you got to, you know, financial or something. It’s like it’s designing a life that feels good for you and the unfolding of it.

Samantha Pruitt: 34:09

And when I have those big blocks where I can commit to this insane training regiment, which I’ll be leaving this weekend and I will buckle down for 48 hours of endurance hell, basically, I mean, I’m wanting that to happen, I’m about it, but like I will be all about that, yeah, you know, it’s a shifting of gears. It’s which is also aligned with my values. The other thing I want to say about race is watching and witnessing over this last week, all these caretakers coming in and out of the medical spaces. So you know, we’re going to physical therapy and then we’re going to doctor’s appointments and then we’re sitting in chemo and then we’re going to the ER and then we’re going into the hot, like we’re going to all these places. So I’m seeing all these people coming and going and, of course, I’m interacting with them and my brother’s interacting with them, with them and the amount of grace that he operates in this. He’s in pain, he’s suffering and he’s literally just like this open container, like you’re saying, to receiving and being present with these people. What’s the nurse’s name? Who is this doctor Having real conversation and contact. It’s so cool to watch and witness that and then, of course, I get more inspired to be that way too, you know, when you’re around those kinds of people. But then each of these is an individual human coming into our life, even it’s for one second. The guy who was at four in the morning cleaning the room my brother was in okay, he’s working in a hospital setting and at four in the morning his job is to clean the floors, right, like he’s a human being, also doing his role and seeing people for who they are at that moment, looking them in the eye, making connections, having gratitude. You know like all of that is so incredibly beautiful and amazing. And my brother and I were laughing because I have a thing for coffee, as you’re well aware of this, and so one of the things I do in the world is I travel around and I go into communities and I go seek out that small little coffee shop with the local coffee owner, and if they’re roasting beans, even better, and whatever.

Samantha Pruitt: 36:14

And then I have to talk to the people. Who owns this coffee shop, what’s going on here? What’s the story, you know, and my brother’s like what in the hell? And but that’s what you are in the world to do? Yeah, because I have that curiosity, but I also like it’s a, it’s coming from a place of grace. Like I want to understand who they are, I want to experience them in their space. You know, I want to be graceful. When I walk into somebody else’s home, whether it’s their business or their actual home or their workplace, I feel like I’m a guest in the space.

Polly Mertens: 36:53

You know, it’s just so. Two things I was thinking and I want to remember to come up back to Asheville and the hurricane that happened, but as you were saying that, I used to. So what I was thinking as you were talking is like we can blur through life, you know, you can just kind of. You know, like also, just like life is a blur, you know, just going, you know, and I know a lot of moms out there with all the responsibilities and the choosing that they do to support their kids and driving them around and all that stuff, life can feel a blur.

Polly Mertens: 37:24

And what I’m loving that you’re saying is the slowing down. You know there’s a whole slow movement. Right, you know, slow down life, slow food, slow, you know, slow your life down. That can maybe not always be achieved, but in the moments when you can be slow enough, like you said, it doesn’t take a lot extra. You know, I was giving blood this week and I was like talking to the ladies and you know one was in training and I’m sitting there. I’ve got 10 minutes, you know, but but just not just like, oh, let me just get on my phone and, you know, get into this world. That has nothing to do with my life.

Samantha Pruitt: 37:56

Right Like these people are in my life.

Polly Mertens: 37:57

They’re sticking needles in my arm and stuff, and exactly right. And how was your day? Well, it’s been kind of quiet. We’re really glad you’re here. I’m like, well, I’m really glad you’re here, you know talking like that.

Samantha Pruitt: 38:09

So you know what you create when you do that and you have huge awareness around this, but it’s for our listener is a level of intimacy and connection with that other person. And what I have repeatedly seen and this is why, probably, I’m such a diligent practitioner of this is their energy shifts to meet mine. So maybe they were head down grinding. There was a nurse that was coming out, in and out, and she was a little bit like a bull in a China shop and she was really rough Cause I had a lot to do and the ER and those ICUs and out and she was a little bit like a bull in a china shop and she was really rough Because I had a lot to do and, yeah, the ER and those ICUs and stuff.

Samantha Pruitt: 38:43

I get it, but she’s literally like yanking him around and all these things and he’s in tremendous pain, right, and she’s trying to put the IV in and do all these things and there’s just this intensity to her energy and I was like, whew, we got to breathe this down a couple notches, you know. So it’s like okay, what’s your name? And they start a conversation, create space for them, whoever whomever the barista, the nurse, the whoever, the person driving your Uber right now to come down and be with you and just allow, like you did with when you’re giving blood, like hey, I see you, let’s be together in this moment and let’s just do this thing.

Samantha Pruitt: 39:27

How can I help you? You know?

Polly Mertens: 39:29

you know, the other thing, as I was saying so, in your world when we were starting to connect about this topic, uh, is a lot of space and gratitude and grace with your brother. Like that’s what you’re witnessing and you know. You know other than what I talked about. You know my internal grace moments back and forth at this chaos that I’m turning into an order. I’ve been intentionally putting my eyesight on Asheville and giving it love, you know, and the people that are just wrapped up in that whole destruction and things that happened there.

Polly Mertens: 39:57

And just what I choose to watch are not these cnn reels of, like those many miles of water and dirt and stuff. I’m like I watched this one uh youtube video, this this reporter and her crew flew in for 96 hours and they captured the people on the on the ground, like like you know, kind of like the old school stories of like what’s happening for these people and in their lives and at the human level, like, oh, I mean seeing people rescuing people out of roaring floods and rescuing dogs and rangers perfect strangers, oh and and and people driving from ohio to with truckloads of food and barbecues to cook as much food as they can and water you, you know, people without water for days and stuff. It’s just amazing, I mean, in that there’s so much that the context is poised for grace and gratitude, and I think that is one of the. You know, sometimes I don’t love the word human and humanity because I feel like we can find extremes of that that aren’t graceful and worthy of gratitude, but in this it’s such a beautiful context to say look at, this is what humanity can be, this is what’s possible when we work together and we care about each other.

Polly Mertens: 41:08

It’s not just you’re just the person on the street and I’m not going to pay attention to you Like people that don’t say hi to me on the street. I’m like you. I’m like I like they look down, they look away, I’m like Hello over there, like I just want to say, like you know, I’m not drowning or something, but and I don’t need you to talk to me, but I just want to send you love. You know, I just want to connect with each other.

Samantha Pruitt: 41:32

Well, you know the impact you can have in those. So just like fleeting impact you can have in those. So just like fleeting moments, right, Somebody who opens the door for you.

Samantha Pruitt: 41:43

It’s like a second transaction right, but how it can be a real big thing. You don’t know what somebody’s experiencing. I mean, asheville is an extreme story and I know you were there recently and you have a friend or a couple of friends that are living there, so this is really fresh for you. Like when there is a crisis, it’s so cool and this is the only media you should be consuming, by the way when you see humans coming in to support one another and what is possible, like you said, from that place. Right, it’s all around us, if we are aware, and that’s what we choose to put our eyeballs onto, and also it inspires us to do the same.

Samantha Pruitt: 42:24

So, it inspires us to be better people in the world when we see oh, this is how you respond to crisis, this is how you respond to war, this is how you respond to suffering. This is that, oh, this is what we do as a humanity.

Polly Mertens: 42:38

Modeling, modeling grace. A hundred percent compassion for your kids, for your kids.

Samantha Pruitt: 42:43

You’re going to whatever soccer game in school and all the things. What do you want to teach your children? How do you want them to be in the world? Are they going to be part of that movement and part of the solution for us to all heal and move forward? Are they going to be part of the solution for us to all heal and move forward? Are they going to be part of the problem? Because that’s what you possibly are modeling or it’s what they’re witnessing online, etc. Etc.

Polly Mertens: 43:05

Breaking those down and you know the other thing I just want to introduce, and I don’t really know where this goes, but I just got it as a little download is like accepting grace also receiving receiving grace, you know, I think we, you know, moms and people just on the go or over giving, you know, like the over givers or the people pleasers or the you know, oh no, I’m fine here. Take care of you. Like receiving grace right, receiving people’s compassion, receiving um small acts of kindness or help or whatnot, right, instead of just letting it go or no, not for me. I, you know, I’m fine. You know, just allow that as well.

Samantha Pruitt: 43:47

Yeah, I actually just had that conversation yesterday with my nephew, who’s also a cancer survivor, about his uncle, my brother, and just talking through his own experience and he’s incredibly, he’s just amazing. But he survived his own journey but we were talking particularly about my brother’s always been this sort of strong, take care of everybody else, do all the things you know, and this is a moment in his lifetime, probably for the first time, where he has had to be open to receiving and really is learning how to do that. And it’s amazing to be part of that. And you want to just continue to provide that space for him, for for me, for you, for all of us to be receiving what is out there for us. You know I’m a mother, I’m a grandmother, I’m a wife, I’m a. You know we’ve been bosses, all the things we’ve had, all the jobs Right. But just because we have those skills and capabilities in the home environment or the work environment doesn’t mean we always need to be in that role.

Samantha Pruitt: 44:52

Other people deserve opportunity to be in those roles and we can step back and be like well, yes, you should definitely make me dinner right now. I would love my feet rubbed Okay.

Polly Mertens: 45:04

And I think it’s. You know, I think the universe loves when we acknowledge it and we say, oh, thank you for that. You know, like I’ll just talk about for a moment of serendipity Cause I I’ve often said I have good travel karma, right Like the gratitude I have and just how I go.

Polly Mertens: 45:18

You do it’s amazing, it’s amazing, it’s amazing. And I have said, after you know, seeing so many years of all my good travel karma, I’m like, hey, I want to have life karma, I want to have good life karma, right, like, how can I be a little bit more aware of and dancing in whatever good flow that I’m in traveling in my day-to-day life? And so I think that part of how that happens is recognizing it when it does happen in your life. So here’s a little tiny funny story. I hope it’s a little fun micro moment.

Polly Mertens: 45:48

So I’m remodeling this building right, and just picture the corner of a building right, so there’s like where the sides come together and on the left side there’s an old door and for some reason they want to move that door to the right side of the building, just like right around the corner, like, and this building happens to sit next to, of all things, a locksmith shop, right, so this is a commercial building, and so we’re trying to remove the old lock that was on this door. So we’re installing the new door and I was like, oh, okay, now we need to transfer the old lock to the new lock. Right, installers like I can’t get it off, can’t get it, it won’t work, whatever. I’m like oh, dang Smith happens to walk out. Kid you not who walks out? I was like. I was like I just felt like a silly guy. I was like can you pick a lock? He was like oh my God, let me get my tools.

Samantha Pruitt: 46:38

You know, he was like ah, it was like super exciting.

Polly Mertens: 46:41

He was like oh, what’s up this thing? I mean, in like 15 seconds he had unlocked that lock. I was like yeah, check you out. You know, I was like I like praised him for gonna move this, like he’s. No, you can’t put that ugly lock next to my locksmith door. I’m gonna give you a new one. And I was like you go right ahead, dude, that’s awesome so I know that’s like silly.

Polly Mertens: 47:07

But like in that moment when that was happening, I was like this is like good travel, this is like my good travel karma. You know, like this angel has just showed up to say no, let me, let me help you. And I wasn’t like no, we’ve got it.

Samantha Pruitt: 47:18

You know, I was like what do you want to do?

Polly Mertens: 47:20

here. Oh, you have some part to play in this. It seemed like it was like oh, this is unfolding. Let me let you have grace for what you are here to do in the world and by all means, do it Right.

Samantha Pruitt: 47:33

Yeah, I think these things happen every day, all day long, and if we have our eyes open and our ears untethered and hearts and hearts, we will see them and we can say yes to them. And then when we do that, we then turn around and spill that back out to the next person. It’s just like this momentum, it’s this wheel of life, really, that this is gratitude and grace is a wheel and we’re just turning the wheel At that moment happening.

Polly Mertens: 48:01

I get to share it and people hear it and they go oh where else can that happen? And it grows and it feeds the world, it feeds our hearts, it feeds our energy. It becomes more in the world instead of smaller, less scarcity, whatnot. So, yeah, so that’s my story on that, but um, so what’s our one thing going to be today?

Samantha Pruitt: 48:21

but, um, we’re coming to it, you got. You got a one thing. I like the idea that you put out and we were doing this differently. You were talking about a practice of gratitude, asking the questions. Maybe you want to assign some homework to the audience.

Polly Mertens: 48:37

Well, it could, there could definitely be. You know a couple of things. One thing, so I would say if you don’t have a gratitude practice, I like it’s. You know, one of the first things that I start with my clients with is, like you have a morning routine, and one of those elements is so for me, I’ll just share, you know, mine is, um, it’s a prompting of remember a time when you, you know and it could be different things, things that you’re grateful for, remember a time in your life when you had a special moment, something you’re grateful for. Right, remember another one, remember another one. That kind of prompting, if you will, and just allow the mind to bring up the database of what things for my, and I just find that how that sets the tone for my day and how it can set the tone for your day is just where you want to be starting your day from right. But how about?

Polly Mertens: 49:25

and so yours is more of like in the moment, like slowing down and taking a breath and taking in what’s happening, it seems well, I’m gonna give the grace homework because you gave the gratitude, do it, and my grace homework is stop bumping into things well, they’re gonna bump into things, but don’t well resist the bumping, or maybe bumping in the first time is called life.

Samantha Pruitt: 49:48

I’m talking about dink, dink, dink, dink right. So stop the resistance cycle that might be going on in the small micro and the big macro things in your everyday life and allowing some grace there, which means letting go of the resistance right and being open to receiving and love and acceptance of what is. That’s my homework assignment.

Polly Mertens: 50:13

Yeah, and I’ll tag on to yours, which is one of the things that has helped me, and I’ve said this in another podcast we did, but it’s the, the prompting. I wonder what’s trying to happen here, you know. So just give space to what is happening here, like this chaos in my work and your brother’s life and stuff. I wonder what’s trying to happen here and we can just stay open, right, instead of this shouldn’t happen. The story we tell ourselves about what is happening is how we feel about it, right, totally, instead of I wonder. So be curious. So love it, lady, okay.

Samantha Pruitt: 50:44

That was good. Yeah, how do we want to close?

Polly Mertens: 50:47

Yeah, please, let’s remind them of what we always remind them of.

Samantha Pruitt: 50:52

Yes, yes, yes. How your life feels is more important than how it looks.

Polly Mertens: 50:58

Every day is your opportunity to find your awesome. Bye, yes, how your life feels is more important than how it looks. Every day is your opportunity to find your awesome. Bye, guys.