Samantha Pruitt: 0:25

hey, superstars welcome back polly here and sam pruitt. What’s up? Beautiful humans, did you miss us?

Polly Mertens: 0:33

and by that what samantha’s referring to is so you just came back from a world championship in nice, france, and um you’re coming back, um traveling the world, and we haven’t done one of these like live and in person in a couple weeks, so we’ve been missing each other. So you guys are going in for a little treat here.

Samantha Pruitt: 0:51

Exactly exactly, and you took on a massive new project and you’ve been running around like a Tasmanian devil getting shit done, crushing it. So here we are today, a we missed each other and we missed this connection time that we have, but we also missed just talking to the world you know, and so much has happened in that time period. It’s kind of mind boggling. Several evolutions have happened. That’s why we look so disheveled right now.

Polly Mertens: 1:20

Well, one of the things we were- going to talk about, and so so just to kind of confirm you have clicked on of the things we were going to talk about, and so so just to kind of confirm you have clicked on this. If you’re listening to it, yes, the episode we’ll get into is saying yes to a satisfying life.

Samantha Pruitt: 1:31

That’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Polly Mertens: 1:33

That’s what we’re going to talk about, but first we’re going to talk about a few other things.

Samantha Pruitt: 1:37

So stay tuned if you want to say yes to a satisfying life.

Polly Mertens: 1:42

Yeah, which is super, I think. Just one of our core, core, core beliefs, you know, like you and I share at a core and it’s how we live our life.

Polly Mertens: 1:52

You know one of the things I just want to say. You know, I can hear my own, how my voice sounds to myself, and I can hear my stuffed upness. So you’re here, you’re. You know I’m coming to this episode with, uh, you know, after a few days of just being a little knocked out by a little bug, and it’s still living up in my brain, and so that’s what some of that is.

Polly Mertens: 2:11

And I told Samantha I was like I’m not exactly camera ready right now, so it’s like saying just film it, and you know, when you don’t have the energy for all those things and the frills, it’s like just show up man, Just show up and I just got back from traveling two weeks Time change.

Samantha Pruitt: 2:29

I came back with a cold too, from all the insane travel and lack of sleep, and then I immediately tried to attempt to jump back into my Ironman training. So I just got out of the pool and you know, this is just how it is. This is who we are in the world. We’re, we’re messy, we’re busy.

Polly Mertens: 2:50

We’re just living life, you know we say yes.

Samantha Pruitt: 2:52

we say yes, dude. That’s exactly why we’re talking about this today is because we’re so passionate about saying yes in our own lives and we really want to impart to the audience what we mean by that. So what do we mean by saying yes?

Polly Mertens: 3:06

Yeah, so you know what what that is is. You know it’s not. It’s not the opposite of saying no, I mean, and you know we, where we, where we find saying yes is one of the things I picture is like how you and I, or how I, look at the world, and I think you might agree, is like if there’s, you know, a bell curve in life where people fall, you know like, oh, the average weight or the average height of people or the average, you know whatever earning income kind of thing, you and I are the outliers, like like we, the bell curve has a peak in the middle and that’s where everybody else falls and there’s like little tiny groups of people that are in the you know two ends or whatever. And I think what a lot of our life and our mission and who we are in the world and why we have this podcast platform is to invite people out of the middle like, like get out of the middle and get out where the fruit is on the end of the tree, like go pick the fruit.

Polly Mertens: 3:58

And that’s where you and I find satisfying satisfaction in this, and it’s like we’re inviting you to say yes to things that not everybody’s saying yes to right, the middle of the road is like, oh, this and that, and you know, yes, it’s just anything that’s unknown, anything that’s new. And I don’t mean like you were saying like oh, you’ve tried shrimp tacos, why don’t you try fish tacos? It’s like a little bit.

Samantha Pruitt: 4:24

That’s not what we mean people what would you add to that?

Samantha Pruitt: 4:32

How would you say what is saying yes, you’ve got some good examples. Yeah, I mean, it’s in a lot of areas of our lives that we come up against this question. So it could be in saying yes or no to experiences, to adventures, to challenges, it could be to jobs or career paths. It could be to people, relationships, connection. Do we stay inside the comfort zone of what is known and what has been, or do we say yes to something new? I mean, really that party? Or hey, we’ve got, we’re starting this group or whatever.

Polly Mertens: 5:28

you know something like that. Or somebody’s like hey, do you want to travel to X, y, z or whatever? And sometimes it’s smaller little things, right. But there’s still places in our life where we might be holding ourself back, right. And so you know, maybe this is a good time for me to insert the definition of satisfaction, cause I think we’re going to talk a lot about it. So I’m just going to you know if you guys have listened to our episodes before. You know I’m a big fan of definitions and we’re the root of words and stuff, so you kind of knew this was coming right.

Polly Mertens: 5:51

So, okay, yes, they did so. Satisfaction is the fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations or needs, or the pleasure derived from this that’s a good word pleasure derived from this right, ooh.

Samantha Pruitt: 6:07

And if you think about the variety of areas of your life, departments of your life called living, you know at some junction you should and we’re going to encourage you, of course to take inventory and measurement of your satisfaction in these different areas. You know how do you feel about your physical health, how do you feel about your emotional health, how do you feel about your relationships, maybe your partnership, how do you feel about your job or your career path, how do you feel about where you live? And you know kind of your day to day activities. Is there satisfaction in those areas of your life or is there dissatisfaction?

Polly Mertens: 6:49

And I would add to that also in who you’re being. You know so like. Are you satisfied?

Polly Mertens: 6:55

within yourself with who you’re being in the world Right, and your expression of that is absolutely like you said. It shows up in your relationships, the work that you do, that, all these things, and it shows up in your relationships, the work that you do, that, all these things, and it’s like and at the core of all these places that you express yourself. Is you like you take you with every with you everywhere you go. Yeah, are you satisfied with who you’re being and who you’ve become? And you know, or are you settling? Are you, you know, like it’s good enough, or you know?

Polly Mertens: 7:25

And one of the things I like about this word of satisfaction is it ties in wishes, expectations, needs. It’s like like potential, the possibility that lives inside the seed that you were birthed with, from your soul, from wherever you want to look at it. It’s like we all have a different trajectory. We all have a different possibility and potentiality and, as some of us are supposed to grow to a certain height and some of us aren’t, some of us are supposed to live in a certain area and some of us aren’t or you know, but like or like, there’s some finite things about our physical body.

Polly Mertens: 7:57

But then we also can constrict ourselves. You know, we that famous story of you know, roger bannister ran the five minute mile, went up to that point, nobody had ever run faster, right?

Polly Mertens: 8:06

so the whole planet, all the history of people never thought that you could run a five minute mile. It just wasn’t in in the mental structure like, oh, you can’t do it right. And then this guy does it right go to the moon, do whatever, do all these things. So now, everybody’s doing it, it, and then that becomes the middle oh we’re going to the moon today. And you definitely see people. It’s like like you and I watched that documentary on that guy.

Polly Mertens: 8:30

I was like I’m going to do an Ironman in Antarctica and I was like, what the hell, you know? Like you know he can’t do that, but can you? But can you? It’s like quite an undertaking, right, and so that was his potentiality. He didn’t even know it, right, but like that seed got put into his mind, Like he looks at the world and you know your experiences of life and you’re like, well, maybe I can’t do that or not, you know. And so saying yes is like finding within yourself what is satisfying to you both as living, as a human being and a spirit and a person. It’s like are you satisfied with who you’re being and if not, can you? Can you make some adjustments? Or if you’re not satisfied, like you said, in a relationship or in a job, or the people you’re hanging around with, or the money you’re earning, or whatever it is like, what can you? What can you say yes to as a new invitation or a possibility that you create or gets created or put in front of you as well?

Samantha Pruitt: 9:25

I want to add two things. There is nothing that infuriates me more than when somebody says good enough, yeah, oh, m G, I want to literally jump out of my chair and lose it, like that makes me crazy. And I had a business partner that used to say that, and of course we’re not business partners anymore. No, uh, quality of work, ethic not on the same level. But the point is like that, saying that is settling, settling within yourself, settling within your experience, what you’re either providing to others or the universe, or you know, that’s insane. And so I also want to speak to. The flip coin of that is and you and I, you know, hear from a lot of humans because we’re in the coaching business that there are plenty of people and we understand this that don’t feel worthy or able or feel like they need permission or feel like there’s some other limiting factor within their belief system that makes saying yes really uncomfortable, or they might even perceive as impossible. And we’re here to say what?

Polly Mertens: 10:41

no, no, oh hell, no, yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt: 10:45

I mean I.

Polly Mertens: 10:46

It’s better to fail than to never know not have tried exactly exactly for sure, you know, and I think um, we want to touch. Maybe now is a good time to touch upon regret right, that’s another one so? So tell us how regret weaves into this. If we don’t go for satisfaction or potentiality, what are we left with, right?

Samantha Pruitt: 11:11

well, if you’re just going around in this very comfort zone way of being right, following the comfortable path and knowing path, doing the same routines, talking to the same people, going to the same places, doing all of the same things within that comfort zone bubble, then you will at some point you can’t hide from this, yeah, yeah, it will find you. You will at some point have regret. It could be in one area of your life, like I never pursued music or art, I never, you know, pursued the love of my life because I stayed with the high school boyfriend yes, I’m talking to many of you out there um or girlfriend, uh, you know, there’s so many ways that we hold ourselves back and then we get towards the end of your life and you start to really look backwards and say, wow, that didn’t really work, but I did it anyway.

Samantha Pruitt: 12:08

It didn’t give me satisfaction, but I did it anyway.

Polly Mertens: 12:12

What’s the point?

Samantha Pruitt: 12:13

of this life.

Polly Mertens: 12:14

You know, and that’s it. I think that’s where you and I are like, come out on the edges, come out from, just you know, the safe, secure life, that, that middle road, because you never know what’s out there. You know one of the things that in my study of hypnosis learned a lot about the mind and how it works, and you may have heard this before you know your comfort zone is your dead zone, right, it’s where your spirit goes to die, right, it’s like, well, if I just live around, you know, so I define. The comfort zone is what you’ve known, you’ve experienced, you’ve read about, heard about, seen about. And your mind makes up stuff too. It’s like we were talking before this podcast is like oh, look at, there’s a hippo. And it’s like, oh wait. The mind goes oh wait, that looks like a rhinoceros. Oh, rhinoceros is a bad could kill me.

Polly Mertens: 12:59

Radical assumptions Especially. You know we do this and we see this, I think, in radical belief systems, radical racism. You know sexism. You know where people create these just made up. You know they can either inherit them I call it an inherited conversation. It’s the chosen. You know this is just how we do it. Like. You know, the culture is this way. You know. You see this in caste systems like families. You know, handing down their beliefs. You know, generation to generation. It’s like blow that shit up, right, you know.

Polly Mertens: 13:30

So the mind has the two million year old brain. The way it evolves is to keep you safe and keep you alive, to perpetuate species. So that’s what we believe right now, anyway. So you have this old mammalian part of your brain that is like seeking out nothing new, does not want anything nouveau or change. It’s like nope, keep it safe. This is known. This will keep the body alive. Okay, great, what’s known? Right, you have no. You know, like people who never travel outside of their city or out of their country. Or you know, meet new and interesting people or try different foods, right, you know it’s like. Or try a new restaurant, or go try a different exercise class that you’ve never done. It’s like you either bump up against the. So one of the things you and I were saying before we recorded this is like you have that pain of the fear that initial don’t know what if it goes bad, what if they don’t like me?

Samantha Pruitt: 14:31

Whatever, what if. What if, what if, what if?

Polly Mertens: 14:33

what if? And then weigh that against the possibility of that regret that you could feel Like what if I always live my life never leaving the town that I’m in, or never trying amazing foods or meeting new people or stuff? Like what kind of a life do you want? What is satisfying to you?

Samantha Pruitt: 14:51

yeah, well, at the core of it for me is that I want all people, including myself, to live to their full potential, and that requires self-expl, exploration and personal growth. And how in the hell could I get any growth or exploration or development discovery about myself and the world I live in If I don’t do new things, different things, if I don’t have different conversations or try different food or try different career paths, try different sports, travel to different places? There’s so much opportunity. It’s a rich, incredibly rich world. It is kind of crazy and messy, I mean, it can be brutally painful, but it’s also fucking hilarious and fun and insane. Like there’s so much that goes with it, the whole swath of emotions.

Polly Mertens: 15:58

That juice of life? Yeah, yeah, you can. You can always have, you know, the same meal every day, the same person, people in your life, the same job. You know, like you know there’s not a lot of juice to life and I think you know and we just came back from France the joie de vivre, you know, it’s like the joy of life, like living of life, is finding those things that are satisfying to you and going out and doing them and guess what?

Polly Mertens: 16:22

The brain very quickly, when it tries something new, it becomes known and then it’s no longer satisfying. It’s like, oh, I got that Right. It’s kind of like if you ate the same meal every day, but if you go out and you have like I was just talking with somebody who I remember. They’re like oh, you know, we had this trip that we took and we went to this fancy restaurant in Seattle and had this one of a kind steak that’s only served in like four places in the entire world and I said, yeah, and if you had that restaurant in your town and you could eat and afford that every week, like suddenly you’d be like, let’s just lunch or dinner.

Polly Mertens: 16:55

You know it’d be like it doesn’t feel that specialness.

Samantha Pruitt: 16:58

Right, exactly, exactly. And I was sharing with you some funny stories about, you know, the group I was working with and traveling with and producing this event, and one gal kept every day ordering Caesar salad. Like she literally survived for 10 days off Caesar salad and at the end I was like I refuse to let you order another Caesar salad. We’re in Monaco. For God’s sake, please order something different. Or even me, going into a normal restaurant, we were all with a group, so, you know, comfort zone and I just walked in and looked at the menu. I was like I can’t eat here. Of course there’s food on the menu I can eat here. I will not eat here. I need to have an experience outside of the box. So I’m going to go pursue something different and found this amazing. And it wasn’t like it was a lavish, crazy meal, but it was something totally different that I’d never had in an environment I’d never been in like all of those things, and I just felt so much joy from having that moment. Right, right, and it’s that pick, that.

Polly Mertens: 18:03

I find you know one of the things we were talking about and so we’ve talked a little bit about the fears and stuff. So we might come back to that, but it’s just so wanting me to talk about into the steps and it’s like some of how you and I have developed, let’s say, the muscles or the habits of doing this is because we’ve taken smaller leaps, bigger leaps, seen the bumps in the brood. You know it’s kind of like when you’re raising a child if you feather their nest the whole way and they never fall down and get up, or you know bump into things or whatever. Then they don’t know. You know what they’re, what’s capable, whether you know like, oh, you’ve got to learn, you know how to pick yourself back up Right. Or oh, you know that didn’t work out. Well, that’s okay, all right, you know you, that’s how you learn and grow, like we don’t come into this world knowing everything.

Polly Mertens: 18:51

I heard this podcast once, alex Hermosi, who I think has some brilliant ideas. Sometimes he said you know, and you know he was a little bit about like if there was a creator in life, which I don’t know that he believes, but he’s like if there was a creator in life. Do you think that they would help the human species learn patience you know appreciation, satisfaction by making it easy? Or would they introduce things to be impatient about so you could practice?

Polly Mertens: 19:21

patience or things to moments of not, you know, not having things that you appreciate, like you just went in, you know. You just talked about how coming back from being in another country, satisfaction of like coming back to your old routine and the home, and how much you appreciate it. Right, it’s when we go and we get outside of those comfort zones if you will, and we come back and we go.

Polly Mertens: 19:41

this feels good, not like stay in it forever, but you get out of it. You say yes to the experience of something and maybe you go. You know what? I want to start having that food that I learned I learned about over there and I want to start having it in my life here. Right, eggplant caviar.

Samantha Pruitt: 19:57

Did you even know it was a thing? Didn’t know it was a thing I’m telling you.

Samantha Pruitt: 20:00

And this olive oil. I was like, can you send me 12 cases of this to my house immediately? I mean it’s like, handpicked from these, what is happening? I wanted to just literally take the bottle and guzzle it down. You know, it’s all of those experiences, those saying yes to new experiences, that we build resilience, but also a multitude of skill sets. Like dude, you are the most nimble fox I know. Like literally, you can go into any work or life environment. You know and and be able to navigate it gracefully, communicate, assess. You know, adapt and work your way through the trials and tribulations. That is not something that you were just born with, right, right, those are skills you’ve honed your entire life by continuing to jump into the arena. Yeah, sure, somebody’s ready to. You know, get at you Like you’re in the arena. It’s going to get messy and bloody and sweaty, but you dip and dive, you know. You just learn, like that’s where the muscles are built. It’s so incredibly powerful to be that human in the world, isn’t it?

Polly Mertens: 21:11

Yeah, what you’re touching upon is one of my favorite words these days and I just think that, as a coach you and I would as a coach, I think I have, in my 10, whatever years of coaching people I have seen that resourcefulness is one of the biggest assets a human being can have in the world, because there is no constant. In a world where there is no constant, there is only change. Being resourceful is adaptable. So here’s the definition. Let me just throw this in definition resourcefulness, the ability to find quick and clever ways I love that, clever ways to overcome difficulties like a fox.

Polly Mertens: 21:50

Like a fox, like, if you have that in your back pocket, you’re like whatever you throw at me, it might punch me in the face, I might get a black eye, but like, all right, I’ll face. I might get a black eye, but like, all right, I’ll learn, I’ll get up, stand up, you know, put dust myself off and like, okay, or you know, uh, I, I, uh. This is a little bit of a construction reference. I’ve been doing a lot of construction and I think you’ll laugh at this. So I was doing this work this summer with a subcontractor, this guy, and we were working on this Victorian house right, and so imagine in a Victorian house that’s been around for like 100 years and we’re like, oh, let’s take up the flooring or let’s open this up or whatever, you’re gonna find some stuff that you didn’t count on right.

Polly Mertens: 22:27

And so all of a sudden we’d find ourselves in you know just strange scenarios where it’s like, oh, suddenly we feel like we’ve gone into this world of like what’s going on here, and I would at one point. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to these public. They’re called escape rooms. They’re these places where you go in and they have little puzzles and you have to. They have like maybe 30 minutes or an hour or whatever, and all around the room are designed little puzzles and you get one piece to start and they give you like chicken scratch information and you’re like what the heck?

Polly Mertens: 23:02

And you start to touch the walls and look for things that come out. Oh, there’s another clue, right, you know? And so you find your way through these little escape rooms. Trying to get out of the room is the idea right, but you have to work as a team and you get a little puzzle and then you go. I wonder if this key works in that. Or and then you try it in like three different places where there’s a lot you know, just like it’s.

Polly Mertens: 23:22

It’s, but it’s fun, it’s challenging. It’s like, oh you know, and so we’d be working on this Victorian house and all of a sudden we’d stop and we go. Oh my God, we’re in another escape room. Oh my God, here’s a little, and that’s how life, you know. I think, from all of my decades of traveling I especially being an RV driver and owner and a woman on the road by myself, it’s like troubleshooting.

Samantha Pruitt: 23:49

Left and right I mean guns, a blazing, as you’re going down the road 80 miles an hour in your toaster, on wheels I love it with no destination.

Polly Mertens: 23:57

Exactly in your toaster on wheels I love it With no destination. Exactly, there’s no, you know scripted, everything whatever. And I have now, and you have, we’ve adapted ourselves to be resourceful, to strengthen those muscles of holy fire. You know so, like I think, things that you and I would say people would just be like. You know, they cry in their soup or they get all emotional about it and I’m like, well damn, that sucks, okay, all right. Next, you know they cry in their soup or they get all emotional about it and I’m like, well damn, that sucks, okay, all right. Next, you know. So you know, one of my favorites I said this in the last podcast is like, okay, that’s what’s so. So what now? What, right, what am I going to do about it? Right, like I never, I never, loved people who bring all the past history of like, oh, this is how this happened. I’m like, who cares? If we can, if that’s going to help us.

Samantha Pruitt: 24:45

What now yeah. What now yeah. I think I really developed those muscles from two things. One is being an event producer and all of the events that I have produced are large scale sporting events with humans, safety risks, time constraints, all of these, like peril and shenanigans and whatever, and being able to continuously like talk about being nimble, mentally, emotionally problem solving problem solving non-stop, and obviously I thrive in that environment and I continue to do that to this day.

Samantha Pruitt: 25:15

So, like the example of just coming from France, you know, ironman World Championship team, french World Championship team, nice, so working side by side with the French team and then us having to constantly, like, navigate so many things it was just a barrage of things nonstop for 10 days in order to produce a world-class sporting event for thousands of people and keep them safe, right, like. So the the millions of decisions and actions that had to happen yeah, I didn’t, I wasn’t born with that. Like, I developed that over years. And then the other thing for sure is ultra running. I mean, ultra running taught me the rails going off them ultra running taught me the rails going off them.

Samantha Pruitt: 26:04

Everything will go wrong, not not can it or could it. It will, it’s a matter of when, and what in the hell are you going to do about it? Yeah, yeah. Adventure racing. You know us being adventure racer.

Polly Mertens: 26:12

Yeah, Listen it’s just a matter of when.

Samantha Pruitt: 26:15

Yeah, and if you don’t have the muscles, the resiliency, the skill set, all of these things we’re talking about in order to navigate through that, you won’t develop those muscles. And by saying yes to putting ourselves with great intention into these choices of jobs, career paths, opportunities, physical challenges, races, whatever I mean. Also, you know, public speaking, all of this, everything we do, that’s slightly risky, right, it takes courage to say yes to those things, but by the fact that we’ve continued to and we also surround ourselves with people, by the way, who do that, those are our peers and our mentors, and that’s the place that we like to play.

Polly Mertens: 27:04

A team, a team, yeah, and so sometimes we’re not feeling it.

Samantha Pruitt: 27:08

Maybe we are feeling a little unsure or underprepared or whatever scared, prepared or whatever scared. But because we have this community of people who are like-minded and like-spirited, we have support. That’s huge too.

Polly Mertens: 27:26

You know, and I think one of the things I want to touch back on is, as you say, that is, you know where did I maybe start, or maybe this might resonate for you, or where I think you know, if anyone’s listening to this, you might have some of these, and I definitely see it. When I bump up to people that don’t have resourcefulness or I don’t feel like they have a strong resourcefulness muscle, they’re typically still holding on to two traits that I think I had to transform and I and I wonder if it was for you One is perfectionism right, so the need for things to be perfect, everything to line up. You know that kind of a way of living, however you want to look at that and the other is control right, like trying to control all the scenarios, the what-ifs and stuff like that, and it’s like, oh my gosh, it’s exhausting. Set all that shit down.

Samantha Pruitt: 28:16

Exhausting.

Polly Mertens: 28:18

So it’s like when you let go of those two old patterns and beliefs and you begin to believe in yourself. Remember, I was saying like, like, how do you see yourself or your way of being when you can step into you know what? No matter what, like, whatever age you’re at. If you’ve made it to that age, you’re probably pretty resourceful, like you’ve gotten through some stuff in this life, right. However small your box you’re making it, or however big a playground you’re playing in, you’ve figured some stuff out by now, right, and so we’re just asking you to keep applying that.

Polly Mertens: 28:50

Let go of whatever limitations may be holding you back or, you know, not saying yes to things that would be more satisfying. You know where are you putting the constraints? Or I would say you the you that’s listening to this is not the you that does that, it’s your mind that does it, right. So you listen and tune into the mind saying don’t do it, you might look bad, don’t do it, you know whatever, and instead go okay, so you know, cause you’re brilliant at that. I mean, you are my favorite model for who cares what it looks like, who cared, you know yeah, I don’t have that perfectionist thing.

Samantha Pruitt: 29:26

When you said that, I almost laughed out loud and then I bit my. I mean didn’t have the perfectionist thing. Fear of failure. Sure I had to overcome that, and only by overcoming that, through failing repeatedly. Yeah, I mean face in the fricking dirt, borderline, dead chaos. I mean just so much failure, and failure in business and failure in like relationships failure. Okay, maybe I mastered that shit. Okay, so I don’t have any fear of that. I actually have zero fear of that. I could care less, like what someone else is going to perceive of me and my success or failure in a certain thing is none of my business. It’s apparently theirs. Like, I just have no attachment to that. So that just comes from a lifetime of failing Right and I, I like things messy, I like things a little chaotic.

Polly Mertens: 30:19

I do have some control stuff, you know, um, but I’m a human being but you, I think you hit it on the head when you said earlier about the event production. I mean, talk about an environment where, like, it’s never the same every day. You know it’s not. We’re making widgets day in, day out, we’re just stamping the things right. It’s like every day, even if you have a multi-day event, it’s different. It’s no two events this year that last year. Different people, different all environment.

Samantha Pruitt: 30:50

Different environment, different weather, different team.

Polly Mertens: 30:53

Maybe different location To produce the thing, different location different tools of the trade.

Samantha Pruitt: 30:57

Yeah, yeah.

Polly Mertens: 30:59

Different, all the things, and what. What didn’t change? Evolved, I would say, but didn’t change. Was you believing in you?

Samantha Pruitt: 31:07

Yes, a hundred percent. So it’s that self-belief, it’s that self-trust. Yeah, will I be able to figure this shit out? Put me in the frying pan. Will I be able to make something happen, magic happen.

Polly Mertens: 31:24

And I want to throw a little woo-woo in this and that’s also trusting that the universe will help you with it. What stifles that over-controlling or that over-perfection mindset is not recognizing the game, the the dance that you’re in with something that’s greater than you. Right and so when we just think it’s all up to me, like I got to like win all this thing called life, you know, let me control all the scenarios or the what ifs.

Samantha Pruitt: 31:53

It’s like how hilarious is that, by the way? How is that possible Right Now? That’s total lunacy. I love that word lunacy.

Polly Mertens: 32:02

Total lunacy.

Samantha Pruitt: 32:03

Hilarious, that’s your second favorite, that’s your first favorite, I think, yeah, like just the idea that you have to figure it out and the fact that, even when we fail, I do have a belief still that, oh, the universe wanted that to happen. There’s a reason, there’s a greater reason for me being here, doing whatever the hell I’m doing and whatever circumstances came to pass right. And so the winning, the losing, the failing, all of the things that are judged by society, really, what do they mean? Yeah, it’s. Whose standards are these?

Polly Mertens: 32:47

Whose life is this anyway?

Polly Mertens: 32:49

Totally you know, are you sleepwalking through a life you don’t even want? Are you satisfied? And living a joyful life that maybe is messy, maybe is not, you know, doesn’t look like other people’s, you know, and you and I are the queens of that. It’s like, yeah, it doesn’t look like yours, okay, but are we satisfied, are you? You know you enjoying pursuing, falling sometimes down headfirst and getting back up, or having huge periods of growth and not knowing and learning and it sucks for a while. You know like that’s a little bit of every race that you get into, right? Is you know my Ironman journey? Yeah, go ahead.

Samantha Pruitt: 33:26

How many times have you walked away from something that was comfortable and known In the absolute, knowing that you have no idea what’s going to happen next?

Polly Mertens: 33:43

Marriages, well, boyfriends, jobs friends marriages jobs, living places where we’ve lived.

Samantha Pruitt: 33:53

I mean, it’s hundreds of things, hundreds of opportunities that every human over the course of their lifetime has, and so the listener maybe can do a personal inventory for themselves. You know, are there places in their life that they’re still hanging out because it’s good enough? That’s a question.

Polly Mertens: 34:19

Yeah, that’s not really satisfying and I think you know one of the things that, um, I don’t know why I’ve been thinking about this more, but, um, it’s not morbidity, I’m not like thinking about death, but I’m bumping up against thoughts that help me appreciate now so much more, you know, and it’s like I was listening to something. I forget who. I think it was like an Oprah interview when they were talking about you know, it’s like I was listening to something. I forget who. I think it was like an oprah interview when they were talking about you know, oh yeah, it was that her, and the author that she. I’m sorry, I can’t remember their book, forgive me, but um, they were talking about.

Polly Mertens: 34:53

If life didn’t, you know, if you could wave a magic wand and have a life that never ended, would you or would you always wanted to have a expiration right? And even Oprah, with all the power, money, influence, whatever she has, she’s like I’m not saying you have to listen to Oprah, but it’s like she was like, no, I want it to end, because you get up to stuff. You make this one precious right. You realize, if I can just go on and on and on, oh yeah, I’ll get to that, like none of us would do anything.

Samantha Pruitt: 35:24

I’ll get to that that’s almost as bad as saying good enough, good enough, I’ll get to that. What the hell does that mean? I mean we’re not going to be as physically or mentally fit as we are when we’re younger, when we’re younger, when we’re older. So okay, if I want to climb Everest, I don’t. But whatever, I have a lot of things on the bucket list. You know, get stepping, get stepping up the mountain while you’re healthy and fit. But this goes for so many things writing a book, pursuing a great relationship, traveling the world Like you’ve been exceptional at that, you know always traveling and exploring new cultures. I mean, you might do that when you’re 90, but it’s going to be a different experience than it is now.

Polly Mertens: 36:14

Right, and I think we all have our own passport to life and it’s you know what our stamps look like and what satisfies us. You know, if your passport to life is a deep, rich family and community and it’s local and you never have to leave, so be it. You know if that’s truly satisfying, right. You know, back to the word is like your wishes, fulfillment of your wishes, your expectations, your innermost desires that your soul came in with, and if you’re pushing them off or putting them off or postponing them until this, like second life that you think you get, which you don’t get by, you know spoiler alert you don’t get a do-over.

Polly Mertens: 36:51

Spoiler alert yeah, no, it’s like this, is it? You know? So I, you know I’ve been having this little head cold and you know there’s one of my favorite quotes is um, you know, someone who has their health has many dreams, millions of dreams, so many dreams. But when you don’t have your health, you have but one. And so, as I have been faced with not having my health optimal for the last few days, I’m like, oh damn, as soon as I’m healthy, I gotta get to get. You know, I got to.

Polly Mertens: 37:20

You know what’s what’s happening. You know as soon as and it’s, you know especially like, oh, if, if there’s a, you know I was first I was like, oh, is this my thyroid? Is you know what, could this be? And then I was like I gotta, you know, make these trips that I’ve wanted to take in in real time in newer time, not just postponing them and putting them off. So I’m saying yes to okay, hey, I don’t know how that’s going to happen or when it’s whatever, but I’m like, okay, that’s a yes for that thing that you know, people who, at the end of their life they have those, you know make a wish, kind of things like give yourself that, for God’s sake, like make your own wish and fulfill it for yourself.

Samantha Pruitt: 38:03

Right, I get asked a lot. After all these years of, you know, fitness and endurance, sports and just doing what I do for a living, you know why do I do it? Like what keeps me motivated? First of all, I’m not motivated, I’m driven. So, anyway, those are two different things, different conversation. But my response has always been the same. And it really is. Because, at the end of the day, if I stay healthy and fit mentally, physically, spiritually and any one of my friends anywhere in the world calls me and says, hey, I got this great adventure, do you want to go? I say yes, I don’t want to be like, well, I’m not really fit enough to go do the thing. So if you give me nine months or a year, maybe I can get it together. No, I don’t. I say yes, the answer is yes, and then I just figure out the rest. But I know that I have the physical capabilities and I’m nimble enough and adaptable enough to go do the thing. I don’t want to miss out on a freaking fun opportunity ever.

Polly Mertens: 39:06

No, I don’t want to do it. Yeah, and I think one of the things we wanted to leave people with is, you know, like, what are the steps? Like how do you begin to say yes in your life? You know so, maybe, as you’ve been listening to us, there’s something that Write it on your hand.

Samantha Pruitt: 39:21

Tattoo it right here.

Polly Mertens: 39:23

I’m sorry. Maybe there’s something that’s already been like poking at you or popping up in your mind that’s been put on the shelf, or you’re uber aware like oh, I’ve been settling, you know, I’ve been making good enough with this relationship, this job, this body, this, whatever, this body, this, whatever.

Polly Mertens: 39:44

so it’s like, um, I would say that one of the first steps I find, you know, because when, when we get in, our thoughts right, naturally go up to the brain, right, we go up to the mind. It’s like, oh, what’s going on out there? What do we think about this? Like, if I’m going to weigh the pros and cons of should I say yes, or should I know, or postpone, or whatever, we go into the world of limitation of our mind and I I’m just saying we make shit up.

Polly Mertens: 40:02

Well, the brain does that a lot. We make up stories, we make shit up. Yeah, the brain is yeah. So the brain, again, that comfort zone, lives in the space of the mind. It doesn’t live out in the world. There’s no boogeyman in places that you want to go or you know, bad things are always going to happen to. Whatever it’s like, that’s that lives in your mind, the context of your mind. So the first step is like examining that thought, that that belief, the context that it first tells you is like oh well, maybe that wouldn’t go so well. Or oh, they wouldn’t like this. Or oh, that would be hard for me. Oh, okay, well, just examine it right, like you, that is you, your soul. Step back from that and go. You know my favorite, byron Katie, is that true? It’s not even fucking true. Most of the time it’s not like true.

Samantha Pruitt: 40:50

99% of the time it is not true.

Polly Mertens: 40:57

And what does she say? How do you absolutely know that it’s true? Guess what? You don’t, you don’t.

Samantha Pruitt: 41:00

So first step is like you know, know you can find out, though do it anyway. Do it, and then you’ll be like it wasn’t true.

Polly Mertens: 41:09

The thing that I thought was your own mind, it wasn’t true exactly exactly like iron man. I wouldn’t have told you that I could have done a half iron man. You know, my 20s would be like oh for god’s sake, those people are crazy. I can here. I am, you know, 52 years old, out you, nine hours later coming in the finish line.

Samantha Pruitt: 41:25

Dude, I have to tell you this very quick Ironman story because obviously I’m training for a full Ironman right now in a couple of months, seven weeks or whatever it is and I’m standing helping to produce this world championship in Nice. So it’s the women’s race. The best females are from around the globe are racing and coming out of the swim. You know I’m standing swim exit. You know we’re part of the protection. We do all these things. So I’m standing out, so I’m literally witnessing all of these women. You know the pros and everybody coming, exiting the water and up the ramp comes a blind athlete and her guide.

Polly Mertens: 42:02

I’ve seen this.

Samantha Pruitt: 42:04

And I’m like I mean, I know we have challenged athletes and I know many of them and I have witnessed them, but for some reason this just absolutely I could have just dropped down on the floor, probably because I’m training in the open water. Swim is what like a nemesis for me. It’s one of the hardest things for me to overcome personally, and I’m watching this blind swimmer get out of the water and I’m thinking she just swam 2.4 miles in the open water with her eyes closed. How in the hell did she do this? And I mean, I just was so blown away and for me it was so beautiful, incredibly beautiful. But then also it really immediately like shook me to the core about my own stories and belief system around me and my open water swim and all of my anxiety and shenanigans and stories Right, and I was like I got this.

Samantha Pruitt: 43:01

Now I’m just seeing myself as an expert of that because I can see my way forward. And if this blind athlete can navigate her way through, who in the hell am I to have this crazy story? Limiting bleed, unbelievable or even witnessing you and your journey in your race and listen, by the way if we don’t say yes to showing up and bearing witness to others. We should also add what a critical element that is to our personal growth. Bear witness to others doing the most amazing things with their lives. Seek them out, search them out, befriend them, be connected to them, be in the space, because you will see what’s possible.

Polly Mertens: 43:50

And I think the fine line that I will just add to that is the way you told that story is so beautiful and elegant and inspiring in so many ways. And I think the fine line that people sometimes and I’ve done, you know, we get into the comparison game, we get into that fine line of like they can’t, I can’t, or they’re, but whatever, or you know the the comparing on social media and stuff, and it’s just like only compare if it inspires, only like you, you, you, you get inspired by something and then you check in with yourself you’ve got one lane, this is your lane that you’re not in their lane, they’re running their race. You run your race. If seeing that blind woman inspires you to like go totally, do this fantastic right, but don’t let it go. Oh my god, I’m such a lame ass, I, you know. Just notice those those fine tunings that we. The mind is tricky.

Samantha Pruitt: 44:42

She’s, it’s tricky, tricky. I didn’t. I immediately went to what is possible for a human being, yeah, and I had the honor of bearing witness to an impossible possible moment, right, and it was so cool, and I think those exist all around us as well.

Polly Mertens: 45:04

Yeah, wow, wow, I love it. I love it, yeah, so just like anything that you think is real or your mind’s made up, or just just remember, like is that true? Is that true? How do you absolutely?

Samantha Pruitt: 45:15

know it’s true, right.

Polly Mertens: 45:16

And exactly. And then you know. The next is like. One of the things we talked about is like would your future self appreciate the decision that you’re making yes or no, whatever you’re doing, or would it turn into a pity party of regret?

Samantha Pruitt: 45:33

Like damn.

Polly Mertens: 45:34

I didn’t do that thing. I didn’t make that choice that I had an opportunity to make. I could have reached out and done that thing. Could I had an opportunity to make, I could have reached out and done that thing right. So let that be some of the barometer that you start to weigh the things that are important or satisfying, or these little micro decisions and macro decisions that you have to make is is that, would that be satisfying? Would I be like satisfied knowing I had done that? Or is that a hell? No, like there’s hell no’s in the world. Right, we’re not’re not saying everything, is it? We’re not saying say yes to everything.

Samantha Pruitt: 46:05

Oh no, we are solid about saying no to things that do not work for us. We got banned. We are the boundary Queens. This is not that at all. I was just thinking about a critical say yes moment.

Samantha Pruitt: 46:19

I had a flashback of I didn’t even know what ultra running was. I was a fricking triathlete, doing you know swimming, biking, running around in circles with my spandex on right and a personal trainer and that kind of stuff. But I went to a triathlon race and where I happened to stay, the female who checked me into the bed and breakfast I said I’m doing this triathlon, blah, blah, blah. And we just start chatting and she’s like have you ever heard of ultra running and all these things? So, through, she blew my brain just standing there having a conversation and said I’m going to Egypt to help produce a adventure, an ultra run across the desert for seven days. And I was like yes, you can I get in your bag. Like what, how do I do this? How do I do it? I don’t know what this is. I literally have no idea. I hadn’t even Googled it. I literally had zero information except for what this human was telling me. And there you go. I said yes, it happened and the whole trajectory of my life turned a 360 in that moment.

Polly Mertens: 47:27

Well, what I just want to point out to you, I just want to give context to what you just shared is so, when your body lights up like that and that’s the moment we’re saying say yes to like that’s right, that’s right, like your body is telling you, it’s sending you a signal oh my God, this is, this is important to me it lights you up.

Polly Mertens: 47:44

It lights you up. That is, that is your source, coming through you and saying I’m a yes for that, I’m a I’m a hell yes for that. We’re not saying say yes to things that you’re like oh no, I would never do that Totally. You and I have those. We don’t do those things Right.

Polly Mertens: 47:58

But if it’s like oh, my God like your body lit up led you to that. Say yes to it and then figure the rest out, right, like, like for me. You know I uh my RV story. You know like I was, um, you know so a little bit of the story. I had been to uh Fiji and I met this woman who uh had this was pre van life hashtag fucking van life, you know like.

Samantha Pruitt: 48:22

Pre-Instagram and Facebook. We didn’t know what anything was. We were just flying around.

Polly Mertens: 48:27

I’m at this amazing Tony Robbins event. This gal starts telling me yeah, I have this RV and I did it. And I was just like mind blown, like you’re talking about. I was just like, how do I do that? That, that, that, that right and so right. And so came home and had a couple of things fallen. You know, I was like, didn’t know how. I was like, oh my god, if I could so do that, and I, you know, in the next six months, within six months, I owned one.

Polly Mertens: 48:49

You know, like just, I was like, okay, now my mind has been open to that. I know I’m a yes for that and and went for it and didn’t all pan out perfect. You know I didn’t plan for it, for I mean, I love people who like figure all this stuff out in advance, great. But you and I are like, and life is happening and you need to get on with it. You know, like these experiences they come and they go, you know. So take these opportunities.

Samantha Pruitt: 49:12

You have to stoke that fire. Yeah Right, you didn’t allow the what ifs to just pour the fire out, yeah.

Polly Mertens: 49:23

You know you have to stoke that flame, yeah, and the mind will give you all kinds of chatter. It’ll get in and don’t use this. Don’t, in the beginning, expect that to get any quieter by any means. Right, so it’s a little ping pong game. You just play that ping pong game, you just send it on back like okay, yep, I got you.

Polly Mertens: 49:37

You know what. We’re doing. It anyway doing it anyway. And if you listen to some people in the ultra warning world or in the world where people have expanded their boundaries of, like, what’s possible, they just don’t listen to the mind anymore, right Like I’ve heard Courtney DeWalter talk about it, and Goggins and all these people it’s like no, we’re doing this, like, and the mind goes okay, I guess we’re doing this, and the body shows up, you know. And so don’t expect your mind to always be on board for things that are unknown and uncertain. So exactly.

Polly Mertens: 50:08

That’s where the juice is. That’s where the juice is.

Samantha Pruitt: 50:11

All right, let’s wrap this party up, lady.

Polly Mertens: 50:13

So what is the one thing? What is the? You know, if you listen to nothing, we come to the end. What is the one thing we want to leave them with?

Samantha Pruitt: 50:21

for me, the one thing is that if you pause for a moment and you think about your own life, is there an area where you feel dissatisfied? And if there is, it’s time to say yes to something new in that area, why live with the dissatisfaction Makes no sense.

Polly Mertens: 50:45

Yeah, Settling or dissatisfied? Yeah, Do you know, in your heart of hearts and your spirit, like it’s good enough, it’s settling. You know it’s like hell. No, Like this is one precious life. We just want to remind you, come out where the fruit is, come out on the fringe, and like it’s okay to take a detour, it’s okay to take a left, to say no to, even if it’s always been quote, always been it’s always been this way or this is how it is Right. It doesn’t have to be that way tomorrow.

Samantha Pruitt: 51:15

So no more white bread and no more uh, what’s that lettuce that are iceberg lettuce living.

Polly Mertens: 51:24

No more white bread and ice cream.

Polly Mertens: 51:28

No more Caesar salads there’s 32 flavors, like, try them all. Come on, try them all. There’s lots of countries out there, lots of people, yes, and I just, you know, I think your, your nice essence, is like well, you don’t know what you’re missing until you try it Right. And so take small opportunities to say yes to things, and especially like we talked about that big one for you, like your body was like yes for Egypt, I want to go as soon as possible. Right, there’s going to be those moments. Just follow it, trust it, like I don’t know, I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m gonna say yes to this right.

Samantha Pruitt: 52:02

And then there’s little moments of like yeah, I’m gonna grocery shopping and picking a different fruit, vegetable bread, whatever alternative milk.

Polly Mertens: 52:12

I mean let’s get radical you help me with that, because I go to the store, I pick a lot of the same things and I love here. You come home with different stuff all the time. I’m like, like I’m on a hunt.

Samantha Pruitt: 52:24

I’m a hunter in the grocery store. I gotta find it.

Polly Mertens: 52:27

You’re a forager, I’m a laser, you’re the forager. Oh, this is neat. What’s this? All right, we’re digressing. All right All right, let’s wrap it up. What do we want to remind them, my sweet sister. Oh, how your life feels is more important than how it looks you silly humans, yes, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.