Samanthan Pruitt: 0:22

Hey, superstars welcome back Polly here and Sam Pruitt, what’s up? Beautiful humans hey hey, Samantha Pruitt.

Polly Mertens: 0:29

What are we talking about today?

Samanthan Pruitt: 0:31

Today we’re talking about some things. Okay, so we’re talking about a process that is called pause and reflect? Yes, but I want you to explain to the audience what we mean by that.

Polly Mertens: 0:46

Yeah. So I want to like kind of preface it. We were talking before we started about, like, is it you know when to, or how to, or whatnot. And I’m like it’s the practice, because I think we both agree that this is absolutely something that needs to be a part of growth, a part of transformation. And we’re going to relate some of these things that we’ll talk about to business and some to your personal life.

Polly Mertens: 1:08

But when you’re making changes, when you’re you know let’s just take for an example you’re creating a new habit, right? Or you’re starting a new program like use the example for myself I’m in my Ironman training, right. So if I’m just like hard charging it with one, so let’s say I set up a training plan in the beginning and I say, okay, this is what I’m going to run, and this is what I’m going to swim, and this is what I’m going to bike, and oh yeah, and I’m not going to do any stretching, I’m not. You know, I didn’t add some things in. If I don’t pause and reflect periodically on, like, how I’m doing, I could get way off in the weeds or, you know, not notice, you know the progress I have made or what’s not working, or something like that. So the pausing and reflecting in any area of our life, business or personal, is taking that time keyword there taking the time and the self-awareness to put it upon ourselves and to reflect. And I want to you know me in definition, so reflect.

Samanthan Pruitt: 2:06

Oh, here we go.

Polly Mertens: 2:09

Wait for it. I love to look this stuff up. So reflection, you know, besides a reflection in the mirror, right Is time to evaluate, it’s to think, or give thought to think or give thought to. And so, like, what are we thinking of?

Samanthan Pruitt: 2:24

giving thought to ourselves, I mean what time to reflect and give thought to ourselves. I love that piece. Yeah, and patience requires a lot of different things, but awareness time, patience and then commitment to self.

Polly Mertens: 2:42

Yeah, and I think one of the things you and I had talked about offline is when we don’t, when we’re so hard charging, right, let’s say you’re, if you’re in business, growing a business, yeah, you’re great, yeah, a lot going on, feed yourself, right, and so people like I don’t have time to stop and whatever, right, same thing with you know mom, motherhood or you know relation, you know starting a new relationship, and you’re juggling a lot of things and all this stuff. I don’t have time to pause. I gotta get this stuff done. And you know we won’t go into the statistics, but let’s just insert this that there’s lots of benefit.

Polly Mertens: 3:17

I just want to insert one quote that I remember from this gentleman that I met years ago this is when I had an early marketing position that I remember from this gentleman that I met years ago. This is when I had an early marketing position and he told me that he spent 10% of his marketing budget. So let’s say 100% of his marketing budget, let’s say 100 grand, he would spend 10,000 or 10% of it on research and I was like, hmm, like the startup, you know, like analyzing the market, things like that. So he’d do all these surveys and stuff like that and I said why do you spend 10%? He goes I spend 10% of my money so that I know how to spend the other 90% and I was like that’s really good and so I think that’s that related for me to this topic is like I spent your time.

Samanthan Pruitt: 3:59

Attention on how you’re going to do the other 90%.

Polly Mertens: 4:07

Exactly, exactly. And this pausing and reflecting doesn’t have to take up, you know, 10%. We’re not making it that specific, but it is a. I think that idea, that concept that he shared with me translates here right. So it’s we’re spending time looking at what we’re doing so that we, you know, are evaluating, we’re putting thought to. You know, we spent a lot of time in the beginning, hopefully, you know, contemplating is this the thing I should do? Do I want to do that, making a decision and then going for it? Right, like getting ourselves in line, and, lord knows, we probably spent a lot of time doing the thing, whether it’s the new habit or working with teams going for a goal. You might want to pause and reflect and see how it’s going midway, right?

Samanthan Pruitt: 4:47

Well, so why is this important? I mean, let’s be honest. So people generally our audience in particular are very change-oriented, forward-thinking, personal investment, personal growth people, and they probably have a multitude of things that they’re working on in their life, that they’d like to see habits change or progress towards different paths in their life. Why is this piece so important? And then I would add to it it’s completely natural. It’s actually part of the whole process itself. We tend to reject it. So let’s unpack the first part, which is what’s your opinion on why you think this moment of reflection is so important? Why does it add value? Why?

Polly Mertens: 5:32

I think for myself, what? So a couple of things come to mind and that is um, I see how I’m doing and what’s working, what’s not working. Right, you know, if I’m just like somebody said I should do this, you buy into it, you know, you start doing it. Or they did it that way. Okay, that worked for them. I’m just going to do it because it worked for them, right? Whatever, you know, if it’s a marketing plan or if it’s a training plan or whatever, right Like this is what they say.

Polly Mertens: 5:59

Well, if I don’t evaluate for me the human being, especially if it’s at a personal level or if it’s at the business level, I may have a different environment that I’m operating in, I may have a different team, a different budget, the clients that I’m serving could be different, you know. So there’s a lot of factors that if I’m just cookie cuttering and saying, oh, I’m doing it because that person did it and that’s how you know it worked for them, it worked for me, then I could be missing things that either opportunistically like, oh my gosh, I’m not even paying attention, I don’t have my head up enough in reflection time, like you know hey, wait a minute. I wonder if I could do this a little bit differently. So I think a couple of things happen in that pausing time. It’s how is it going, you know? So I want to, I want to check in with myself, my team, whatever it is.

Samanthan Pruitt: 6:46

How’s it feeling?

Polly Mertens: 6:47

Yeah.

Samanthan Pruitt: 6:49

How’s it feeling? Yes, how’s it working, how’s it going? But like, how’s this feeling? Is this horrible? Yeah, I mean, can you think of all the things we’ve tried in our life where we’re like I’m doing it and then you get in there and you’re like this sucks, I don’t want to do it anymore?

Samanthan Pruitt: 7:09

That’s true, you totally forgot why you even committed to do the thing or work towards the change, adapt a new habit or whatever. And then you get in the middle of it and you’re like this sucks, which is also normal, by the way. But I see a lot of people that do this sort of pendulum, swinging all or nothing around, committing to significant change in their life. If it’s health and wellness, that’s one thing. Or starting a business, or, you know, searching for the love of their life or whatever this thing is, if they’re really trying to do differently than they were doing last month, right. So they start down the path towards this change and they feel like there’s one way to do it generally and it’s whatever. The way that they’ve chosen or somebody has helped them in a book or otherwise, told them is the best strategy for that, and they go charging down that path and they commit to it.

Samanthan Pruitt: 7:58

You know, we know a lot of type A people, we know a lot of doers, and they really commit and they go all in, yeah, exactly. And then they get into it and it’s just totally miserable. They can’t stand it or they can’t sustain the effort, energy, focus, the resources required to continue, and so they, you know, fall off the wagon or off the bus or whatever the thing is, and so maybe for a day or a couple of days, or three or four days, they’re no longer doing that thing eating healthy or, uh, you know, investing in their business the way they should be, or whatever the thing is. So they stop, they fall off the bus for a hot second and then that’s it. The party is over because they have failed. That’s how they perceive that they were doing all of the things, and then the next day they’re doing none of the things. There’s no in between and no grace there. You want to speak to that?

Polly Mertens: 8:49

Well, I think you’ve. I think you laid it out perfectly. The only thing that was coming to mind as you were saying that for me was, in the background I’m hearing the word, two words possibility, you know. So staying open to possibility means there may not be only one way for this to happen, or sure? You know? As you, as you get a little bit more information, you get into it. You know, I’ve been doing my swimming training right for my Ironman, and so each time I get in the pool, like you know, I mean I’m spending a lot of time in the pool.

Polly Mertens: 9:19

So you know like oh, that’s not where a lot of time to think when you’re swimming Time to think Right. And so if your perspective, if you’re, or if you’re perceptive right, I’m open to possibilities of doing this differently and approaching it a little differently, and moving my arm a little bit differently, or tilting my head a little bit more, or you know, possibly, or you know whatever. So it’s, I’m open to the possibility. And then the other word that I was thinking that comes to mind is 25 years ago. I remember being in a company that was all about, you know, this was when it was popular as like continuous quality improvement, CQI. Oh my gosh.

Samanthan Pruitt: 9:54

There was an obsession for 10 years. It was exhausting, yeah, wasn’t it?

Polly Mertens: 9:59

Yeah, yeah. So, but that reminded me of that and it was like continuously looking at how you’re doing reflect, you know, change, go back, you know, tweak, modify, you know. And so it’s this practice, if you will, of maybe there’s not just one way. It can be improved a little bit, little bit, little bit. And then I would say we’re human, and guess what? You’re going to put your own little spin on things? I hope so. Yeah, exactly. We’re not robots. And guess what? You’re going to put your own little spin on things? I hope so. Yeah, exactly. We’re not robots.

Polly Mertens: 10:28

Yeah, so I think the being open to possibility along the way is I’m going to go do this thing, like you said, and see how it feels, not like I’m going to give up, feeling like, oh, this is hard, but maybe I’ve learned something in the first week of doing it or the second week of doing it. Can I fine tune, can I begin to tweak, can I adjust something? Did I learn something new? You know, like I’m reading, like at night I’m reading your triathlon book that you gave me, and I’m like just reading and seeing if other little tips or ideas come out of that as I go, right. But you get into that process and the frame of mind of making a change, trying something different. You read things along the way, you pick up things. Maybe you incorporate them.

Samanthan Pruitt: 11:10

Yeah, I think it’s really important to again convey to all the humans who are listening that we’re not robots and there isn’t just one way. So there isn’t one nutritional strategy, there is not one way to train for a triathlon, there isn’t one way to start a business Like. There’s so many different ways to lead the life of a human being, and our idea for them would be to explore many of those things. So if they want to impact change within a certain part of their life so that’s the other thing I want to touch bases on is please don’t try and change your whole life all at once, unless there is a crisis and you’ve had to do that just out of external forces, of course that that does happen, but we’re talking about people who have made a decision I want to do one part of my life differently, so focusing on one area of your life at a time and then saying I’m going to choose this path to try and impact change. So I’m going to change these behaviors, these habits. I’m going to set up some systems, I’m going to hold myself accountable, either directly or through some sources that we’ll talk about, and then I’m going to get down the road. I’m going to start walking down the road doing the things right.

Samanthan Pruitt: 12:21

Inevitably there is a point and I was telling you a little bit about some research I did Strava did a big study 800 million users. That’s one of the apps around fitness and running and biking and stuff. But the interesting thing that is kind of playing around on online right now is called Quitter’s Day, because at the beginning of the year everybody starts a resolution and there’s inevitably a point that many, many people quit the resolution and just throw it away and then they wait for the next new year. Right, they forgot that there’s 11 more months. Oh, so I thought this was really interesting that Quitters Day, scientifically based on pure data, is around day 19 of starting something new, a new habit, a new change, behavior. I thought that was absolutely fascinating and so that what you and I conspired then is that day 18 is should intervention day of an intervention.

Samanthan Pruitt: 13:20

Why don’t we just automatically set this up for ourselves and for our people, our teams at work, whatever the environment is, our family, you know? Um, a moment before the wheels fall off the bus to pause and reflect, take an inventory of what’s working. How is this feeling? Is this the right path for me? Make some adjustments of what’s working. How is this feeling? Is this the right path for me? Make some adjustments. Give yourself grace and just have an honest conversation with yourself, or with somebody that you trust around the process before you move forward. If you know that day 19 is probably going to be quitter’s day, let’s just. Let’s just head it off at the pass.

Polly Mertens: 13:58

And I think what’s smart about that? I mean, if that’s the you know one way that we can help fewer people, you know, stop making the process. That’s one of them. And with that, you know, oftentimes decisions made in emotional states, you know, like low emotional state, we can have an outcome or make a decision that doesn’t vibrate with what we made, you know, when we first chose it. You know, so, january one, or the you know the changing of something new, or we get fired up and we learn about something. We’re like, oh yeah, I’m going to do this thing. I’m going to do this thing the bus, or you know, you got a little sleep deprived or you’re the. You know the days and days of working out. Life happened as it tends to do, right yeah, totally so on 18, maybe you know what.

Polly Mertens: 14:53

What may be conspiring with this, as you’re saying, is 19, is like they’re tired. That you know. There’s like accumulated muscle fatigue or the fatigue of trying to introduce new habits or shifting their schedules or whatever they’re doing. You know, the business is like the team. You know teams go through that norming, forming, storming, performing, you know. So they might be in the clunkiness of trying to work together towards this project or this goal, and it’s just still in the clunkiness right. And then work together towards this project or this goal, and it’s just still in the clunkiness right, and then they haven’t. They don’t let themselves enough time to get to that.

Polly Mertens: 15:27

You know, thriving things are smooth, people are finishing each other’s sentences, kind of feeling. So I, I like what you’re saying, like assume that you know, don’t just start. And then you know, oh, this is a, in 30 days I’ll see the results. And then assume like, oh, it’s just going to get done, or set it and forget it, or you know, we’ll just we’re not going to do KPIs and manage the team so that we’re checking and seeing how progress is going along the way. It’s like, no, we plan for that right.

Polly Mertens: 15:55

Exactly.

Samanthan Pruitt: 15:57

We don’t plan for perfection. First of all, that’s not even a thing, right. So we’re setting ourselves up for failure before even day one, and then we’re setting a culture for ourselves, or, right? We want a culture of understanding one another, being honest in conversations and really taking the time to pause and reflect collectively, collaboratively, to problem solve. So making sure those environments are what we’re actually facilitating is what we would want for ourselves, and we would definitely want to give that to anybody we’re working with or we live with in the same house. You know people we share our life with, for that matter.

Polly Mertens: 16:43

Yeah. So just you know, if you’re listening to this, you know just think about like, are you doing that already? You know, just kind of take a little inventory, like anything that you’re charging forward in your own life right now. Are you automatically doing that, or do you sort of put that off, or do you have the maybe that mindset of like I’m too busy to, I don’t have time to pause, I barely have time to sleep. You know kind of thing. But you know, as we said, you know could there be benefit in this and how could and how and when and where might this show up?

Samanthan Pruitt: 17:13

Well, let’s not forget to talk about the hustle culture that we live in, right? So there is this expectation that people put on other humans to constantly be performing and storming and doing all the things grinding. Remember that whole like grit and grind thing that went on for a couple of years, um, online and in business especially that people were just like you know, if you’re not grinding, you’re not doing anything, like you’re not hustling, and I mean they were putting it on shirts and like it was. It got crazy for a minute, didn’t it Like? What was the? What was that all about? We need to make sure that we don’t continue to subscribe to that way of living. A it’s not healthy, because we’re not taking care of ourselves physically and emotionally, if we are grinding ourselves literally the term grinding ourselves down into, you know, not even resembling ourselves anymore, but that mindset of having to constantly perform and be at a certain level in order to feel worthy no, that’s got to go.

Polly Mertens: 18:18

Yeah, and I think you know one of the things on the other side of the pendulum, as I was thinking about this before we were going to chat today is, you know there’s a thing I think it’s called the slow movement. You know, along the lines of like minimalism or the slow movement. It’s like slowing down. There’s a lot of slow movement around slow food I don’t know if you’ve heard of that Eating slow. Well, eating slow and preparing food, you know it’s. You know, enjoying being in the present and things like that. So I think you know, depending on whoever’s listening to this, if you the idea of doing things slow just freaks your nervous system out you know we’re not talking about that. So, like, don’t click off and be like no.

Polly Mertens: 19:03

I’m not, you know, I’m not going to minimalism and I’m not going to, you know. You know, tune out to the life. I’ve got to still be engaged in life. And it’s like, yeah, I get that, I totally get that, and we’re not saying that this is a part of the practice and process of growth, is a pause and a reflection on the way to the next step and the next step, right, it’s almost like if you just breathe out all the time and you didn’t ever breathe in like breathing in as a part of the process, like you, it’s an in and an out and an in and out. You breathe out, you know execution of your plan. You breathe out your, your steps of your process, whatever. And then you breathe in like how’s it going? Get some reflection about you know.

Samanthan Pruitt: 19:48

I’m laughing because I’ve been binge watching the amazing race, as you know, because we are going to be on it at some point. We are applying for the amazing race side note, but it’s hilarious because one of the like I’m writing down the what not to do’s because we’re going to go in and crush that thing, right, oh yeah.

Polly Mertens: 20:05

We’re going to do all the things.

Samanthan Pruitt: 20:06

Like one of the number one things that people do terribly wrong, which seems obvious, is they don’t actually pause and reflect and read the clue for the next challenge they’re about to do. They literally go and they run.

Samanthan Pruitt: 20:22

And they’re like in a cab, or they’re running or they’re doing whatever they’re doing and they’re not reading and absorbing. So this could be true in any instance really absorbing what is the reality of the situation, the information that I’ve learned, the experience I’m having, how this makes me feel, this growth process that I’m on, and so they make a ton of mistakes and inevitably it’s a disaster. So same kind of thing that grinding, rushing, you know, going through things quickly and not really assimilating all of the value that comes from what you’ve just done. So, even if what you’ve just done for the last two weeks wasn’t great, let’s say you didn’t see a ton of progress in achieving this goal. Well, first of all, you’re very impatient and you need to settle that down right. Like, aren’t we funny? But there is always lessons and learnings, there’s always information, there’s always knowledge. Every single day and actually every single single decision, choice, conversation, experience, there’s a gleaning of just gold nuggets to be had, even when it’s really sucks and is awful, right. So if you didn’t allow for the pause and the time to really reflect and look into that, you would be missing so much of the experience to build off of.

Samanthan Pruitt: 21:44

So I think that’s where you were going is like there’s a process here. These are steps. It’s a journey. Our life is very long, ideally if we’re taking care of ourselves, and so this is never going to be this journey of building ourselves our best lives. It’s not a 30 day journey. Last time I checked right, it’s going to. I’m hoping I’m on this thing till the day I die. So continuing on the process. What’s the rush?

Polly Mertens: 22:12

right, what is the rush? Well, you know, I mean, I definitely feel like there’s, um, you know, one of my sort of inherent feelings or senses of like there’s so many things and places to do, and not I’m not talking about FOMO or fear of missing out, I don’t have that but I just have a like an inherent knowing that there’s a lot that I want to get up to in life, right, and so you get this driven perspective, you get this kind of drive to see and to, you know, like, suck the marrow out of life kind of feeling. And I think we can have fun with that. And I think one of the things we can just sort of like compartmentalize this and then move on to the next step, and that is like this doesn’t have to be long.

Polly Mertens: 22:53

We’re not saying like, sit on the couch for a week after you’ve worked out for a week and reflect on things.

Samanthan Pruitt: 22:58

That’s not what we’re saying.

Polly Mertens: 22:59

This isn’t like worked out for a week and reflect on things. That’s not what we’re saying. This isn’t like oh, it’s one-to-one. It’s like hey, you know, we’ll talk about you know how each of us does that. Why don’t we, why don’t we go into?

Samanthan Pruitt: 23:09

that Like how do you, you know what is repositing? Yeah, because when you were talking about you are this character that likes to squeeze the most out of every day. I literally don’t know anybody really who has that to the magnitude that you do commitment to the pursuit. But at the same time, it’s so fascinating to me because you also have this really quiet, reflective, meditative side of your life and I’m going to assume and I want you to share your tools because I think this is really important, and then I’ll share my lack of tools.

Polly Mertens: 23:52

I wing it yeah.

Samanthan Pruitt: 23:54

So I feel like you, you can be that way and do those things and operate that way, because you have structure and tools in place and you are somehow magically balancing these two things the striving, the thirst, the quest for the experience, getting the most out of this one precious life, with understanding its value, and the peace, the quiet, the sanctity. And then somewhere in the middle is this how you structure that.

Polly Mertens: 24:27

So, yeah, I think that. Yeah, I think what you and I, you know because of our yin and yang. You know we’re going to share each couple of perspectives, and there’s probably 30 that exist, and so we’ll share some ideas and what this might look like for people, and how or when, or you know what you might do for that. And then, really, this is an invitation for you to consider it for yourself. Like what, what could, what could? Like, I said it’s not, oh, I work out for a week, or I tried something for a week, and then I take a week to evaluate it. Oh, like, get with it. I mean, you can do it while you’re doing it. Sometimes, like I said, like I’m swimming and I’m evaluating the swimming along the way, I’m like, oh, or like, as I’m, you know, changing in the locker room about to go swimming. I’m thinking about, all right, what did I do last time? And, okay, what do I want to keep in mind as I get into this pool? You know, just like taking lessons with me. You know, I don’t bring in a long list of stuff, you know. So that’s just an idea, like off the cuff, like it can be along the way it doesn’t have to be. Go screw yourself away, take a weekend to reflect on whatever. Now, those are great, and so maybe I’ll share a couple of my things, like what I do, so how this looks for me on the macro level, meaning on an annual basis or whatnot.

Polly Mertens: 25:39

So at the end of each year in December, I usually squirrel myself away, whether it’s a retreat or at my home or something. I just kind of like tune out the world and I set up time, me time, right, and that’s two days of reflecting on the past year. Sometimes I’ll pull up my old journals and you know, but mostly it’s the last 12 months. So it’s a lot of kind of going through my calendar, going through photos. You know, like what was going on. And I have some prompts for this, some of its visual prompts, some of its meditative prompts what have you?

Polly Mertens: 26:07

So this weekend is a review process, if you will. That’s a bigger reflection on 12 months. And then January I go into and I take that information with me. So I take the lessons, I take the. What do I want to leave behind? I take the. What do I want to take with me? What do I want to make sure that I focus on now that I know this and who I am now, what you know like, what’s key about the next year for me, so that it’s like that reflecting time grows information for me to formulate right.

Samanthan Pruitt: 26:39

What did I?

Polly Mertens: 26:39

learn and then okay, so fast forward. So that’s the annual process. And then many micro versions of that I do throughout, actually every month, every week. So Sunday afternoons are my reflection time for myself, it’s my time to, so I do the annual planning. So January is an awesome time to start that and I’ll do it sometimes other times of the year, of things in my life pivot, so I’m not just saying only in January, never look at it again, but like January is a good example.

Polly Mertens: 27:08

So January and then I’ll have, like, let’s say, the first quarter’s goals. So I’ll know January, february and March, these are the things that are essential, these are the things I’m moving towards, this is what the outcomes I want, habits I want to you know, etc. Moving towards. This is what the outcomes I want, habits I want to you know, et cetera. And then on the month, so one of those goals may not start until March, but you know I’m in January, so I’ll say okay, in January, what are my priorities, what am I doing? So I line that all up and I write all that down. You know, and this is, this is all you know. Like I said, I’m raising my hand here. I am the type A. So there is a lot of structure to this, all right, all right, I’m just sharing Lots of beautiful journals and notes For those of you that like that kind of thing.

Polly Mertens: 27:47

You’re just, you’re gleaming from ear to ear along with me like, oh, that sounds fantastic, can’t wait to get my hands on that stuff. And some of you are like that sounds horrible, right, sounds horrible, right. And then on the weekly so I take that monthly and then I drop that down into the weekly, and so Sundays of every week is my opportunity to reflect on the prior week. I look at the tasks I had, the objectives I put forth for myself that were aligned with my intention for the year. Right, I found that, you know, when I started doing this probably 15 years ago or 20, whenever I started doing this, I used to be driven by what was in my inbox. So what was in my inbox led my life for the next day Reactionary, yeah. The next week, then there was no rising above. You know the vantage point yeah, get up from the map for a minute, take a look around, like where are you Right? That kind of thing. So that’s what this process now gives me, right? So at the beginning of the year, I have a really big vision. Look out, you know, way farther into the future as far as I can see. And then on the month, I go okay, here’s the next 30 days, this is what we’re the picture, this is the picture we’re going for. And then on the weekly, I’m looking back to the prior week, I reflect on those things.

Polly Mertens: 29:09

So, three things I just want to say that I build into each of those weekly reviews is what are my wins? I think that’s essential, right? So I am looking at what did I do? Right, like what was a win? Right, like woohoo. Second is, what did I learn? Like was there some key gems in that? Like I want to remember and pull those out. Like, hey, I got some gold here along this thing called life, let me take it with me. And then the last one is like, what do I want to do differently next week? Right, so I have probably my list of things to do, but maybe there’s something I need to shift. And we’re talking about this pause and reflecting as a moment to go Possibility, opportunity, opportunity, pivot. Something may need to pivot me, something else, someone else, the strategy, the timing, scheduling, whatever. I may need some new resources, all of those things.

Samanthan Pruitt: 29:58

Yeah, so you’re not talking about putting you know procedures in place, structure tools that are rigid. So these are things that you lean on and tools and process that you utilize that have worked for you. That’s why you use them. It’s not a rigid. This is the one way to do it, this is the right way and this is how I’m going to stay on the path to greatness. I mean, what in the hell? Life is totally chaotic, but I love that you have these tools and I think to some extent I mean mine doesn’t look anything like yours, but it’s helpful for everybody to have something.

Polly Mertens: 30:33

Yeah.

Samanthan Pruitt: 30:34

Right, so is our life just passing us by here? I mean absolutely not. We only have so many years, days, minutes on this planet and I’m pretty sure most of us would like to actually utilize those to the best of our abilities, right? So, having some process and procedures in place, I do a little bit like that on the annual, like I do take a look and see how did this go.

Samanthan Pruitt: 30:57

I don’t spend two days doing that, but I’ll do a quick reflect and I’m always doing a forward, like planning, and it’ll be what are the you know things that I want to achieve this year physically, like what are my physical challenges? What’s going on in my sports space, what’s happening in my business space, what’s happening in my family relationship space? So I kind of look at it like that and I’ll plan things out and then I’ll get some structure to it. But then my reflection piece is more definitely more micro and probably because I came out of a physical and emotional health crisis that I had to more regularly drill down into those experiences to understand. I think I want to change these behaviors right, I want to pause for a moment.

Polly Mertens: 31:46

So I wonder if some of what created that new practice for you? Or, like, looking at it on the micro basis, did you think that maybe prior to that you weren’t pausing or reflecting, you were just going? You know, maybe you were either sure I was surviving yeah, crisis mode survival, and and you know the thing, there are some times of my life where it’s not this structured.

Polly Mertens: 32:06

I just want to put that out there, like, so, this isn’t every sunday. For the past 20 years I haven’t done this every sunday, but I do this, probably 90, yeah. No, I’m just saying, like, there are times in my life where, yeah, like things are good, like I or I’m let’s say I’m not, you know like there’s winter, spring, summer, fall. Like there’s some times in our life and I don’t mean that literally, just like the time on the calendar, but what phase we’re in where it’s not about growth, it’s about reflection, or it’s about grief, or it’s about harmony or something else. Right, like you know, when you’ve got the loss of a loved one, loss of relationship, loss of something, or there’s something that interrupts this thing called life, everything. Yeah, you don’t just keep keeping on right like, yeah, you, you, you shift something.

Samanthan Pruitt: 32:55

So I just want. Well, I hope you don’t. I do think a lot of people keep keeping on and then you end up with unprocessed emotions, in addition to the repercussions of the continuing to do the things that aren’t working Right. So when I was thinking about, like reflecting, when you were talking about some of the things that I do do, process and procedures around just kind of understanding myself better and practices, so in unpacking or a pause and reflect a lot of times for me was around what I was doing with my physical body. So like, what was I eating? I have an autoimmune disease, so I have celiacs, I have a lot of food allergies.

Samanthan Pruitt: 33:36

So, for example, if I was trying to feed this body nutritionally, what was the response my body was giving and taking pause literally after a meal so that’s three or four times a day and saying, wow, does this feel good? Am I body? Am I making the right choices? Should I maybe do this a little differently, not to beat myself up and be critical, but to understand and get to know myself. If I didn’t invest all of that time and, by the way, it felt like a full-time job at some point like understanding just what to consume in order for my body to work. Um, I would have never learned what I know now and all of these years later be able to have the body and the brain function that I want and deserve doing If we didn’t take moments irrelevant of a training plan to get to a finish line, if we didn’t take those daily moments to be like, well, yeah, I went and did that workout, but it didn’t feel good.

Samanthan Pruitt: 34:53

Something’s not working. If we just keep grinding away at that training program because we think ultimately it’ll get us to the start line and pray and hope we get to the finish line, I can tell you right now, half the time that wouldn’t even happen, and it’s more than half the time, many, many people stop doing those things nutritional changes, exercise, body changes, health and wellness changes. They stopped doing them because they’re not working. They didn’t take the time to pause and reflect, and that’s a bummer. That’s a bummer.

Polly Mertens: 35:30

And I think this is, you know we, what we’re? Where I’m really starting to put this together for myself is, as we’re talking, is this is the learning process you know, like we think learning ends at the 12th grade or when we’re 18 or 17 or whatever. It is um and it’s like oh, I’m done. Like you know, you might go into a work training sad yeah, but they’re like guess what? It’s ongoing right and so I hope so.

Polly Mertens: 35:52

see yourself as a learner, a student, curiosity, possibility, optimistic, open, like you know, and yeah, yeah and so know you need and one of the things we were talking about too is like accountability, like some reflection on this, sometimes with ourselves, like so what we’re talking about here is like I’m, you know, like I don’t have anybody necessarily in this train, like I’m not training with a partner or something like that, or a coach right now.

Polly Mertens: 36:17

So it’s like, oh, I don’t have that weekly check-in right, but like for us, as we work with our clients, they set up a goal, they start charging towards something and then it’s like, well, how are you doing right? And so an external force factor, person, whatever, can be that accountability, whether it’s a women’s circle, a coach, like us, you know a partner that’s doing it, you know the race or the thing with them or their team, you know at the office or you know in their business. So you actually build in positive reflection when you have someone on your team or you know a thought partner like we’ve talked about right, like a coach, our favorite new term thought partners.

Samanthan Pruitt: 36:54

You have a couple accountability groups you belong to and that seems to be a normal part of how you live in the world. I’ve belonged to these groups in the past women’s circles and different things, and definitely training groups and teams and stuff like that. I don’t currently, but I think that’s really invaluable. You know you and I are thought partners to each other. I think having that in your life whether it’s a coach or a trusted person in your professional field, if that’s really you know what you’re focusing on at this season of your life, or if it’s health and wellness, somebody in that space, whatever but like having a person that you can share ideas with non judgmental this is not about I’m holding you accountable. Did you get that workout done? You better text me a picture that you actually sweat and I. I need to see all these like we’re not talking about that. That’s judgment. I don’t want that in my life, by the way, but I want people to be like, so tell me how’s it going? Cool, let’s talk about it.

Polly Mertens: 37:50

Let’s, and what are you discovering along the way? You know, like, sometimes you know, so I was I was texting with a client that, um, you know, is doing some growth in business and speaking up right, let’s call it boundaries or something like that. And so she’s like, you know, should I talk to this person about this? Right, like what is? You know, this is the situation, and there was a little blending of the thoughts there. I was like, well, that’s about this, but you know, and you’re a 10 on this in confidence, but look at this, you know, and so I’m able to just help and reflect back to her something that’s like, oh right, so like we bring that to our accountability partner, we bring that to our coach because we want to improve upon that right.

Polly Mertens: 38:28

It’s like here’s, here’s something I’m discovering. Maybe they’re about myself, or this isn’t working for me, or, like you said, it doesn’t feel good, like, yeah, I just. I just noticed I clenched up when I thought about going and talking to this person about this thing, or I got this hot flash because of, like, the stress of, you know, probably some trauma from the past that I’ve stored in my body about talking to men, or something like that, whatever that is, it’s an opportunity to get some reflection right, like we’re talking about like reflect on that and what you know, process that.

Polly Mertens: 38:57

Like work on that. Like what does that have to unpack for you?

Samanthan Pruitt: 39:06

Exactly that term unpacking makes a ton of sense. You know, we both coach clients and we have them across the table or across the room or whatever, and you know, having a conversation and creating a space for each other, for ourselves, for them, to just be able to work through the craziness called our brains I mean, it’s complex in there there’s a lot of conversations going on. I don’t even know who half these people are, and just allowing that to be a natural part of all of us with, again, without judgment, that, that space for just dialogue, and again it’s pause and reflection, it’s what it is, you know.

Polly Mertens: 39:43

And then notice you know and so I’ll just share one other thing about this that maybe this will help somebody who’s listening to this. So, you know, as I gave this particular client some coaching, it was like, well, you know, here’s an area for you to maybe learn something more about yourself, right? So she’s got this hang up, or hiccup about approaching someone in the workspace, discomfort about talking to them, about you know something, and I was like, well, look, why don’t you learn and go through this process that I was teaching her about visioning and, you know, working with the emotions and stuff like that, telling a new story, and don’t necessarily in the first step, meaning this process. Know that it’s because you have to make that conversation happen, because that conversation, in this particular case, doesn’t have to happen. It’s something that it’s bringing up. You know something inside of her that she wants to grow in, whether she uses this as an opportunity. You know, like, sometimes it’s the best place for you to you know, practice those things, right.

Polly Mertens: 40:43

But I said disentangle that you know. I said why don’t you work on the process within yourself? And if you feel like after that first stage, that you then want to have the conversation, great, then you’re ready to have that conversation. But do the yummy work on yourself first. You know, unpack this thing, figure out where it’s coming from, what may have caused it, what do you? What’s the outcome? You want all this stuff irregardless, because, you know, if we have this sort of looming fear, like I have to go approach this person, or I have to, like, get this result, or, you know, change something out here, it will, you know, continue almost to, I would say almost, like embed that, that thorn that’s inside of her. That hasn’t you know.

Samanthan Pruitt: 41:22

That’s so interesting, yeah, and what I was thinking about is a lot of our people are on this journey for some kind of change in their own life. That they’re having with themselves to pause and reflect and unpack could be that emotional turmoil that might be going on internally around being honest with themselves, being vulnerable with themselves, nevermind to another human. Many people don’t want to actually own up to what’s going on within themselves. It’s difficult to feel emotions.

Polly Mertens: 42:01

It’s it’s a lot of times, yeah, sometimes it’s confusion, you know, like we’re not sure where it’s coming from, or I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Or oftentimes, yes, you do, you know, it’s like probably right there if you pause, but we’d rather just speed on through, you know. We’d rather just like, you know. I just get it over with either get it over with and like grit and bear it which isn’t necessarily going to have it go well. Right, right or number two, avoid it.

Polly Mertens: 42:30

Just don’t do it Like just swallow that you know pill again.

Samanthan Pruitt: 42:35

I just want to say though I’m hoping that people understand, but maybe they don’t, and we should just actually say this that if they are taking on a opportunity for change in their life willingly, right, this isn’t being forced upon them, it’s not a punishment, right? This is not because they’re not amazing and perfect just how they are now, because they are. And if they don’t want to do change in any way, shape or form, they shouldn’t. This is for the people who are saying something is not working. I’ve identified it and I want to create some new habits or change in this particular area of my life. If it starts to feel like so yucky that you’re just doing it a hundred miles an hour and grinning, bearing it, that’s really a way of punishing yourself, and we want that absolutely not to be the case. And if that’s what this feels like, we need to not just pause and reflect, we need to stop like hard stop.

Polly Mertens: 43:34

Yeah, yeah, and maybe in that moment you, you, you know you don’t have the power, you know. So one of the things I was coaching this client was like you know, maybe today, right in the middle of your day, isn’t the time you’re unpacking. You know, I mean, this could be the behind what’s going on behind this could be 10 years of something right, it’s a lifetime, yeah, so it’s not like oh, 1030. Okay, I’m going to give myself five minutes to you know change this emotion.

Polly Mertens: 44:04

So, yeah, yeah, yeah so, but but it’s, you know, I mean. One thing that’s beautiful is life is continuously bringing us opportunities for growth, isn’t it, though, continuously? So if it’s not right now, it will either be louder or harder or come from another person, but you will. You’ll have that opportunity to revisit.

Samanthan Pruitt: 44:21

It can’t be avoided. It can’t be avoided. We’re hilarious that we think we can avoid it. I think what we should do is we should, for our crew here, kind of come full circle a little bit, yeah, and maybe give them some takeaways from this for themselves.

Polly Mertens: 44:38

I hope that you know there was enough that you’ve been listening from hearing from Samantha and I that whether you do it how Samantha does it, or I do it, or come up with your own way or whatever it is, find something that works for you. And I don’t know that we hit enough on the benefits, but I hope we did that. And I mean there’s statistical benefits in this and you know we have articles on like the pausing and reflecting, you know, creates more opportunity, it creates more growth, it gives you more opportunity for learning Right. So just know that there are benefits to this. And again, we’re not going on the other side of the pendulum which is like go have a minimalist life and like do nothing and pause, you know, for the rest of your life we’re not saying that this is a pause and reflect and grow. Pause, reflect, grow Like breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out.

Samanthan Pruitt: 45:25

So I would go.

Polly Mertens: 45:27

Yeah, continuous improvement. You might say, yeah, but it’s a part of it, it’s built into that. So I would just want to emphasize three things I would say from what I wanted to share most, and that is, you know, set aside time for reflecting. You know, and in that busy life of yours I hope that people can find time. You know, we get on our devices, we get distracted with other things. You know, I make a commitment to myself that my Sundays are that time, not the whole day, but, you know, like an hour or two on a Sunday I’m setting aside that time for me. That’s what works.

Polly Mertens: 46:02

But whatever works for this human listening, you know, find that can be less and start small. You know, maybe it’s like 15 minutes, you know, once a week. And then I would really encourage the mindset shift about. You know, I talked about that 10% to know how to spend the other 90% right, and so these micro moments of reflection are meant to maximize the other parts of all the other things that you’re doing right. So this isn’t wasted time or not going to get that time back. It’s actually going to help the performance, it’s going to help you. You’re going to learn more for the future.

Polly Mertens: 46:38

And then I would say, lastly, we talked a little bit about that, rising up from your schedule, getting up above your to-dos, right, and so what that helped me to start to do was living deliberately instead of living by default. So, living with intention. It takes time to reflect, takes time to step back and check in with myself, check in with yourself about what’s most important. What worked about that? What do I really want to go? Am I going to keep doing this? Is this right for me? How does this feel right? So, living intentionally, which we all want to do, going forward, not just by default, just not what’s in front of us, not what we’ve always done, is something that you rise above the doing and you start to focus on, you know, the bigger picture, if you will. How about you? What do you want to share?

Samanthan Pruitt: 47:24

I want to add two more things to that. Not to overload the audience, no, these are good ones. But that whole idea of finding a believer, a thought partner a believer is a term I use also for with coaching. Like I’m a believer in that person, they’re not a believer in themselves. A thought partner is a believer in you, in your worth, in your investment towards becoming your best self. Right, they’re so, on your team, find the thought partner. I think that is really like magic. And then I would say also just you know if you can listen to these really small things. So we’re talking about pause and reflect. There are small things all day long. Does this feel good? This environment I’m currently in in my home space, in my workspace? Listen to yourself and honor that and pay attention. Does this feel good? This activity that I’m doing with my body, this nutrition I’m putting in my body, all of these choices I’m making? We make so many choices throughout the day, so I see those as really micro opportunities for pause and reflect. I want to see people doing both.

Polly Mertens: 48:39

Yeah, you know that’s huge, because it’s not like it’s something you save up to do. You know cause you could forget, but but it’s, it’s something you’re always in, right, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a self inquiry, right, it’s a. You know you’re, you’re witnessing yourself, you’re witnessing your life, you’re, you’re a cause in your life, you’re intentional about things. And you know robots just take a program and execute, execute, execute. Humans, we’re not made to do that, right, like that’s the beauty of humanity.

Samanthan Pruitt: 49:08

Yeah, the concept is mindfulness, but I see it differently than like traditional practice. I can’t sit and meditate and do a lot of these things that are mindful practices, but I can have every day, every moment, awareness. I’m coming into a space, I’m with these people, I’m doing this thing, I’m eating it, whatever, like becoming aware, being awake. We can all do that. That costs nothing.

Polly Mertens: 49:33

That is mindfulness. That, yeah, that’s being in the present. Awesome, awesome All right so yeah. So one thing just you know, work it into your process, schedule it if you need to, or, as Samantha said, you know just every day all the time yeah, like, like it’s, it’s a part of all. You know everything that you’re doing, so not to overwhelm you or distract you from it, but to help you live with intention and make sure you’re taking care of you.

Samanthan Pruitt: 50:07

All right, my dear beautiful.

Polly Mertens: 50:08

What do we want to remind them of here before we?

Samanthan Pruitt: 50:10

I want to remind everybody how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome. All right, lady, good job.