Coach Samantha Pruit: 0:22

Welcome everybody to the Everyday Awesome Show, sam Pruitt. Here and I have a guest, a good friend of mine, one of my beautiful mates from South Africa, rick Gressel in the house, also known as Warrior Rick Welcome my friend, that’s me, that’s me, and don’t listen to her with that gressel.

Ric Gressel: 0:44

Everybody does it. Some people say chriso, some people say gressel. Yeah, but it’s griselle, Grissel

Coach Samantha Pruit: 0:53

I like it. I like it. It’s what it is, it is that is, that is my name.

Ric Gressel: 0:57

You know, when you hear your name, it’s like that is my name. So, and it’s lovely to hear my children correcting folks, because I had to do that all the time.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:05

I get to hear them. What nationality, what background is that exotic name of yours?

Ric Gressel: 1:11

You know it’s, it’s, yeah, it’s loaded, it’s loaded. But I’m born of born of immigrant parents from Panama, colón, panama, that’s the Atlantic side of the isthmus, of the canal zone, and it is Germanic and French.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:28

Oh yeah, I figured some Frenchy in there, okay.

Ric Gressel: 1:31

Dad’s family is from Guadalupe, so they came over from Guadalupe, one of the Caribbean islands, and mom’s side, which is the Irish side, is McNamee, and she used to put a double line under the E Everybody’s special, everybody’s special, everybody’s special.

Ric Gressel: 1:48

Yes, we are daughter, yes, we are. So she’s the daughter of um, of a pirate, I would say. But he wasn’t a pirate, he was a, he was a sailor, uh, but when you think irish, when you think irish, I mean I was a pirates man, uh. So, yeah, so irish, irish sailor, and her mom was from Portugal wow, that’s just loaded. Hey, that Griselle is loaded beautiful actually.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 2:12

Let’s tell people a little bit about how we met and then what we’re going to talk about today. So, uh, why? You and I are mates and together doing this moment today. Not that we wouldn’t interview strangers, but I prefer to interview people that I adore. We worked on the World Obstacle Federation project together pre and during the pandemic sports commentating Check us out Four years ago Wow, big huh, four years ago.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 2:39

And a lot of stuff online online, online WhatsApp, all the fun things. But then eventually we got to meet in person and I knew you were spectacular because we developed that bond, but it was so fun to be in South Africa and have a little moment with you and your family there. So thanks for hosting me and having me in your space. I’ll never forget that moment.

Ric Gressel: 3:00

I’ll never forget that moment, picking you up at the airport, because this is what we knew. We knew virtual, we hit it off. We hit it off early on and we had lots of engagements, interactions, with all that commentary, a pre-recorded material, because it was during COVID. And then to see you at the airport was like seeing you now virtually, but just better. The heart was real. And to introduce you to my family, especially my wife and children, that was special.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 3:27

That was special. Yeah, I can’t wait till we do it again and we will. So that’s why we’re hanging today. But we are going to talk about things that our audience cares deeply about, which is personal growth, change, transformation, life pivot moments. You know you’ve had a few dozen or so. That’s probably why we have another kinship. So how about you giving us just a few minutes of your own introduction? Tell us a little bit about your backstory and how you came to be Warrior Rick.

Ric Gressel: 4:02

So all the way back, as we said, born of immigrant parents from Panama, grew up in Berkeley, california, beautiful, beautiful San Francisco Bay Area. I wouldn’t have wanted to be born anywhere else, grew up there, went to Catholic school and primary school, co-ed, and then over to a boys high school Christian Brothers High School, st Mary’s, a boys high school Christian Brothers High School, st Mary’s, also in Berkeley, california. We were 400 in the student body graduating class of about 92 of us, small, just a small, intimate gathering of young men. We were more boys, but I’ll say young men, and we had the pleasure of always inviting the sister high schools to come and join us for drama, for well, not the real drama, but drama, theater drama and for sports, and it was just a wonderful kinship. The beauty of it was is that we could focus in class and then after school we could be distracted with all that testosterone in class and then after school we could be distracted with all that testosterone, and it was just a wonderful mix.

Ric Gressel: 5:10

Stanford University was next, which is also interesting because it’s the rival school to Berkeley where I’m from, 45 minutes down the way. And, interesting story, the year before I went to Stanford in my freshman year was the year of the play. Any of your listeners who followed college football back in the day would have known. The play was that time when Cal Berkeley had six seconds or so left on the clock. Stanford was winning. We essentially won the game and Stanford was kicking off to Berkeley and they ran it back for a touchdown in those six seconds. And the play, the highlight of it was the player who ran into the end zone, ran over our trombone player in the band.

Ric Gressel: 5:55

The band was on the field and classic, classic, very classic Stanford’s. Interesting because it can take us into perhaps a transformative period that I didn’t even know about. I wasn’t aware that I would end up in South Africa, but in my second year at university I joined the group called Stanford out of South Africa in 1985. Why were you drawn to that group? I had done some studying. I was studying international relations, I was focused on Latin America, but I had taken some classes, as we do at that age, that weren’t in my sphere of influence or specifically in the major geographical area, and South Africa was the buzzword. I mean, we talk about the middle eighties and South Africa was the buzzword. I mean we talk about opinion, about how we should approach South Africa, and because I was in political science and this international relations degree and because I’m a person of color and coming from member of your parents, I was very curious about how we undo what was their Jim Crow.

Ric Gressel: 7:16

I was born in 1965. So I was born into civil rights legislation and I wanted to see how this was going to transpire and I didn’t like what was happening, quite frankly, sam. So I want to know what I could do and, like my sister and my brother before me in Berkeley, california. I was a rebel. I was, you know, down with social protests. I was down with, but I didn’t have an opportunity to do it. There was no opportunity as a kid to do it because things were light and easy in the early 80s. It was all it’s the economy stupid. Remember that, it’s the economy stupid. So it was all about how can we make money. It was less about how can we make society better. That was my opportunity. Scary moment, though a scary time when you have to write down on a piece of paper that you are part of the Stanford out of South Africa and you might get out of Stanford, especially if you are taking grants and loans to be there. It was an interesting time.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 8:09

Is that right? So answering a call like that could have cost you your education. Literally.

Ric Gressel: 8:15

A hundred percent.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 8:17

I hope it did not.

Ric Gressel: 8:18

It did not. So I had to put my social security number down, my name signing out that if my dad finds out, I had to put my social security number down, my name, sign it. I thought, if my dad finds out, I am out here with all those expensive classes and all that and I’m taking my day out to lie in front of the trustee’s car to find out where they’re investing in South Africa. You know I didn’t get hidings in high school or university, but I think you know I might have. He might have told me to just open up the door and pick out which one I want for this hiding we call it hiding in South Africa Sounds better than whooping, but it was a whooping and that’s what it would have been. Um, but fortunately, no, I didn’t.

Ric Gressel: 8:54

It didn’t impact my um education in a negative way. It impacted in a positive way. Um, I got to meet some really cool people. Positive way I got to meet some really cool people, listen to some amazing lectures and I graduated. I graduated with my international relations degree beyond Latin America, beyond communism and socialism and capitalism. I got to graduate understanding race relations and understanding a current sort of political dynamic that was happening in South Africa that soon I was going to see for real and in real life.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 9:25

For real. So, taking a leap from that to the fact you are in South Africa now, you live there and you operate a beautiful life there. Between that point and that point, how did you even leave the States and why did you leave the States and why’d?

Ric Gressel: 9:42

you leave the States. I was modeling, oh, so check you out.

Ric Gressel: 9:46

Two years out of Stanford, I had some people telling me that you could make money. You know, traveling the world without a gun and you know it’s easy, easy money. And I thought, you know, I’m still trying to figure out my life and what I want to do. And so in 1989, two years after graduation, took in some headshots in San Francisco, popped down to LA, popped over to New York, popped over to Latin America and popped over to Europe. And when I was in Europe doing this fashion, modeling, mainly photography, an agency from South Africa picked me up and said you know, you can do well in South Africa, especially because it was now. Then it was 1993. It was 1993 when they connected with me and I landed in South Africa 30 years ago this month, march of 1994.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 10:37

Wow, but you were studying political science.

Ric Gressel: 10:42

What happened. That’s cool though. That’s a big pivot.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 10:48

Though I mean you’re like I’m going to do poli sci and be all like you know, fighting for human rights et cetera, and then you’re like, but damn, I look good, Let me get some pics.

Ric Gressel: 11:01

I think the reason I say it makes sense is because my children have helped me to understand that it makes sense. My daughter’s got a degree in education from Pretoria here in South Africa and all of a sudden she’s doing game design. But I’m kind of in that space now where I’m understanding that, yes, it makes sense. It makes sense to diversify your mind, to change your ideas, to unlearn nonsense and I think that’s what I mean by that that as much as I was doing fashion modeling, I was actually keeping a journal. I was studying the different places where I traveled.

Ric Gressel: 11:33

I was very curious and engaging people. Isn’t that international relations? That was my degree. I was doing the practical after learning some of the theoretical. I was down with understanding, you know, political rhetoric and learning about the different paradigms and the shifts in those paradigms. But I really, really got attached to the struggle and got attached to how people were overcoming struggle, and I think it was. It was it was because that was my world.

Ric Gressel: 12:01

In Berkeley as well, we did not struggle as a family in terms of being impoverished, but we struggled as a family in terms of aligning ourselves to a society and a community that was looking for human rights. So we were always, you know, fighting for human rights, fighting for women’s rights, people of color. It was just kind of what we did Now. When I say we less so my dad, a little bit of my mom, but definitely my brother and my sister and my neighbors, think about it. My parents were a bit more conservative because, I mean, they were first immigrant parents and they wanted to make sure that they could keep it together, don’t fail, don’t get shipped back to Panama. You know what I mean, and I was raised by those immigrant parents too.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 12:50

I know strict was the thing. Okay, yeah, we weren’t. We’re taking this opportunity seriously. You put yourself into a situation that required a lot of curiosity and a lot of bravery and you basically continued the path of learning of you know, investing in understanding humanity and yourself, which I love. That, and that’s really one of the things, one of the messages we convey to everybody in this audience is, like you know, we have this inner curiosity. Some of us follow it you obviously are still following it and some of us don’t. You know, we say that somebody else knows better than how we might know ourselves, or that that curiosity isn’t something we’re entitled to have. You know, and I love your pursuit of constant learning and evolving. So you stayed in South Africa up until this day 30 years, or did you come back and forth?

Ric Gressel: 13:51

Came back and forth. So I was scheduled to be here for roughly six weeks. I ended up staying 12 weeks, so a good three months and really, as really as you say, exploring and and trying to to find my way, but I fell in love. I mean, that was that, was that was the essence of it. I mean and make no bones about it, I mean I could have explored Latin America more of the states, more of Europe, but I really found something unique in South Africa that I didn’t see elsewhere. It was this unique global North meets global South. It was empowered people of color. It was a woman who was empowered, who was working in the realm of getting people to vote and getting them to the polls, and I became part of that helping the elderly and folks who were disenfranchised to get them to the polls to vote, painting buses, and so we were having fun and we were in the mix and I was a lot of it.

Ric Gressel: 14:55

I did on my own, while she was also campaigning and working on trying to see our country experience a peaceful but important time, which was revolution. It was this, was this, was it was this. This place was just on tender hooks on the one end, but also fired up about the possibilities. And Nelson Mandela was at the center of it. He was, he was clearly at the center of it, of it. He was, he was clearly at the center of it. And that leadership that he brought of reconciliation, of camaraderie and collaboration just hasn’t been seen before. It hasn’t, it didn’t exist before. I’d never seen anything like that and I don’t know if we ever will, and I got to see it up close and personal.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 15:38

And you embrace that into your own value system. It was a natural fit, really, right. You were just dropping in as a piece of the puzzle.

Ric Gressel: 15:46

A hundred percent, like you said. I mean here I am fashion modeling still going on, you know, casting calls and and jobs for local magazines and even some television and whatnot. But 80% of my time was actually, you know, being in the townships and and going into to areas that you know I could learn more. More about what is this country like? I heard about it, I read about it, but to see it firsthand just eliminates all the fakeness and the disingenuous talk that you get from journalists and reporters who were trying to scare us. They were trying to scare us away from even visiting South Africa, they still are.

Ric Gressel: 16:22

They still are Even worse, maybe not worse, but it’s still.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 16:26

And it’s not just South Africa. They still are.

Ric Gressel: 16:27

They still are Even worse, even worse maybe not worse, but it is, it’s still, and it’s not just South Africa, it’s everywhere, it’s everywhere.

Ric Gressel: 16:31

So that, so that element of fear was there. There was definitely fear, but it was a good fear, in that the excitement overcame the fear and my faith overcame the fear and not being able to really, as I said, I wasn’t stuck in any particular job or career path specifically at that time. So I was at that precipice at 29 years old, trying to figure out OK, so what’s what’s my, what’s my next move here? And it was pivotal. It was, it was very pivotal and your next move well, the next move was kind of made.

Ric Gressel: 17:10

Was kind of made for me because it okay, well, well, in a lot of ways it was because, um, the lady that you met, I felt she felt pregnant and you know, my, my wife was, you know, one that you, she was ready to go on it alone and, you know, raise our son. You know, on her own. And it’s easy to talk about now in terms of our son and hope. But I wasn’t thinking our son. I was thinking, you know, that’s your child, that’s your child and we, we may have made it together, but I have plans, I’ve got plans.

Ric Gressel: 17:58

I got a family at home, I got things that I need to look after in the States and, in fact, the first two, three years was not about moving to South Africa. It was about I need to forget about what happened in South Africa. Don’t forget the fun times and exciting times. But definitely, you know, I’m not ready to raise a child in South Africa. I’m not ready to move to South Africa. And yet the reality was is that I had fallen in love. I had to, you know, admit to myself and commit to myself, but yet I had to leave what I had established. I was married. I was married Samantha, I had a wife, I had a child on the way it was complex it was, it was way more than I would put on anybody, and it took a long time to even think about reconciling, not even with my ex-wife or even my daughter, with myself. I mean, I had so much going for myself and, as my mother would say, who passed away in 2015, she would say Africa, africa, that’s not on the cards for you. You know, you’re going to be a lawyer, you’re going to be a politician, you’re going to be a businessman or whatever, but you’re going to do it, if not in the San Francisco Bay Area, at least you’re going to do it in America, where we came to find the milk and honey. And here I am telling her no, but I think there’s going to be some milk and honey in South Africa.

Ric Gressel: 19:21

Now, you know, looking back, and even before she passed away, and including my father and my brother and my sister, they look at the situation a little bit differently and I would say, you know, maybe only in the last five plus years, where the states hasn’t been everything that it, you know, was cracked up to be, the experiment around, democracy has been failing, and I think that’s where, when you look at it in terms of world politics.

Ric Gressel: 19:51

We’re all in search of the truth and that’s why, in vulnerability, I expressed the shame that I had of being married. I expressed the shame of leaving my daughter behind. I expressed the shame of leaving even my family behind to come here to South Africa. But I say that because I know that, as much as I may need to continue to wrestle with that and reconcile with that, that to be true to myself, is where my authenticity comes from. That being true to myself and having that voice that says to absent fathers, to deadbeat dads, that it doesn’t have to be that way, that you can actually overcome the bed that you made by starting to, you know, work on it, work on how you can improve on it. And I did that by, you know, reaching back to America but, more importantly, living my life and constantly, you know, trying to regain what I had lost in the States.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 20:49

It’s such an interesting piece of your story, this segment of the journey where you had some very challenging things occur. Yes, some by choice, some by accident, some by just you know, life, coincidence, etc. And how you struggled with it but might think society might think obligations to the norm or whatever expectations might have been out there. You had to do a lot of soul searching. I’m sure it was pretty painful at many, many points, because the amount of internal conflict I mean in a dynamic like this with so much at stake, is enormous. How did you work through that?

Ric Gressel: 21:50

I don’t know the definition of depression, right, I’ll just say that up front. But those years from 1994 till 1999, those five years were some of the darkest days I had experienced on a regular basis. Uh, to be able to reconcile with myself. Because I keep coming back to that reconciling myself. I’m talking about my spirit, of who I know I am, I know I’m a good father, I know I’m a good husband, I know I’m a good person. And yet the evidence is clear that you’re not. There’s no way, there’s way too much evidence to say that you’re a player, that you’re a gigolo, that you’re a womanizer.

Ric Gressel: 22:32

And I and I wrestled with that. So the way I overcame it was I sat in it. I sat in it, I mulled over it, I kept writing in my journal. I thought that maybe I could reconcile with my first wife and she made it clear after about three years that that wasn’t going to happen. Then I thought, ok, so I will be neutral and I will remain in the States and have my life in the States as a bachelor and raise two children. That wasn’t it either.

Ric Gressel: 23:10

That was when the realization, you know, was what did I establish in South Africa? What was it that was so dear to me and so close to me, and it is definitely my current wife, it is definitely my children, and it’s also, you know, the dots that Steve Jobs talks about. When I look back at those dots, everything I had done in international relations, in fashion, modeling my engagements, both positive and negative, as a good, loving boyfriend as well as a womanizer, all of those elements made me who I am, and I can tell you this much that, for my sins, the work that I do as a father, the work that I do as a husband and the work that I do in the community is all linked to Broken homes, to deadbeat dads, absent fathers, substance abuse, depression, depression. And had I not had those experiences myself, I don’t know that I could speak from a space of safety and sanctity and overcoming, so that I could help others as I help myself.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 24:24

I know you are a man of faith. A lot of the terms and things you’re using are society’s labels.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 24:32

You know like using the term womanizer and stuff like that.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 24:36

I hear you, I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability, but a lot of people have labels that society has put on them and I want us to break free for a moment and have people understand, including ourselves, that we are not those labels.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 24:53

The draw that was pulling you back to South Africa was your genuine truth and spirit was there, was living there, and when you were in the US trying to sort out the circumstances of this complicated thing called life, you were being drawn back to your own truth and those labels don’t belong to you. There’s somebody else’s idea of what that is in the world and we need to be really mindful with everybody, including ourselves, that the grace of whether it’s your faith or of people like us in the world is. You know, we don’t believe in carrying labels or putting labels upon other humans, but you coming to truth within yourself is incredibly powerful because ultimately, you liberated yourself from that others’ expectations and those labels to go back to your truth and rebuild your life, and that’s made you the human being that you are today doing this work in the world. That’s incredibly powerful and needed more than ever, so I’m thankful you did that.

Ric Gressel: 25:59

I’m thankful that you have helped me to remember the importance of leadership and that leadership doesn’t come with a title, that the way we lead is simply by having followers that recognize your spirit, which is your inspiration, and that they’re willing to go with you through the trenches, through the heartaches, through the obstacles, in order to meet certain goals.

Ric Gressel: 26:30

And those followers then lead, as you’ve taken this conversation and started to lead. So I was leading and then, as I led, I had to pull back and say wait a minute, listen and observe what Sam is saying regarding labels. And yes, I am a man of faith and it was that journal writing, any of those journals that you that I go back to. There it’s so spirit filled. It’s so spirit filled because that, to me, is the inspiration that’s where it comes from. So thank you for taking the lead in that aspect of reminding me that the reason I was able to overcome is because I didn’t let the labels, I didn’t succumb to the labels, but I rather took a lead from a spirit man perspective and said I am better than this. I have been born to lead. I’ve been born to help transform the world.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 27:23

Yeah Well, you talked about shame, coach Pauly, and I talk about this term shame washing, basically cleansing ourselves, whatever your process may be, of that burden. A label acts that things that we did, things that we said, however, were brought about into the space, right, and and at some point, washing ourselves of that shame. Because how could you possibly lead society, your family, your workspace, your community if you carry that shame with you? It’s not going to come from the right place. Ultimately, that’s not the type of leadership we need in our families or communities, and it surely is not in politics and don’t get us started there, because you and I will have to talk about politics, but we don’t really want to see traumatized people with guilt and shame and anger and resentment and fear leading society or families.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 28:22

And that’s our job in the world now. And I want you to talk about what you’re doing, um, and helping people break free from those things. And the only way you and I got to this point is we had to go through it. So you know, through the fire comes the phoenix, baby, oh yeah. So what are you doing now? You’re doing so much amazing work. I can hardly stand it and that’s why I have to get back there and do some of it with you, but tell us a little bit about what you’re up to now.

Ric Gressel: 28:50

My brand, Warrior Rick, really stems from. It comes from Ephesians. It actually comes from Ephesians, which says that I don’t wrestle with flesh and blood in terms of my fight, that my fight is against spiritual wickedness in high places, dark places, and I’m finding that that’s happening more and more. It’s darker and higher, so it’s from places that you wouldn’t expect.

Ric Gressel: 29:17

We respected the fire chief, the postman, the teacher, the president, our parents, our neighbors, family members. There were lots of big brothers and big sisters. We respected them all and theirs was truth, there was honesty, and they didn’t just tell us what not to do, they told us what to do and they were always guiding us and helping us. And so you know, for me, that was the pre-internet generation that I belong to, that you know we played for hours and hours and hours outside and on the playgrounds and at school and after school, and you know, if you had practice, you practice some more. It’s some of the things that some of the well, one of them, Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan, both of them in basketball this recurring thing of if it’s something you love, why would you only practice at practice time?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 30:09

Yeah, that’s pretty hilarious.

Ric Gressel: 30:11

Yeah, something you love. You do it all the time and that’s what we did. We rode our bikes all the time. Hi, could you jump on your BMX bike? We didn’t have time to be fiddling with the phone and trying to get.

Ric Gressel: 30:26

The thing is is that the phone is a default. So what happens is is that you get defaulted into it, on the one hand, perhaps because you, nobly, are going after an email to find the Zoom meeting and the link, for example, or you might go there because you’re just bored and you’re tired. Right, we need to get to the point where, if you’re going for the Zoom link, then find the Zoom link and get out of there, and if you’re bored and you’re tired, don’t use the phone for entertainment, rather look out, and it’s been proven that as you look out into nature, as you look out to the trees and the sky, that green and that blue, it helps with creativity, it helps with innovation, it helps with peace, and so the work that I do in transformation is to help people to find their own inner peace, and one of the ways you find it is in nature. It’s like the easiest thing you can do. If you’re not getting it right, the first thing I would check is where are you trying? Are you meditating in the office? Are you praying in the bedroom? Try it outside, have the meeting while you’re walking. Just give it a shot. Give it a shot. It can be cold, it can be hot, it can be warm, warm, it can even be dark. Be safe wherever you are.

Ric Gressel: 31:35

But it is that being outdoors, even if you have to look out of a window, um, where I find immense amount of spiritual energy, and in that spiritual energy I get answers and I have a lot of questions. I’m really trying to figure out how we get through this darkness, how how we get through this deceit and the lies and to be able to discern truth. And this is now the crux of it those neighbors, the school teachers and the principals and the nuns and the brothers from high school. They made it easy for me. But now, when I listen to a person of authority, a person with titles, sam, it’s gotten to the point where the bigger the title, the less I trust you. It’s like, all of a sudden, you know whether it’s deep fake or fake news. It all feels fake.

Ric Gressel: 32:27

So, to be able to discern truth, I want the goosebumps, I want to feel the inspiration. I want to know that if my gut is in a knot, that is because of my intuition. My intuition is my experience, over and over again, of engaging with people and learning what is authenticity. So my work now. It cuts across so many different areas of life, but it is rooted in nature and in movement. That is what it is nature and movement, and those two things when they come together, it makes it easy to pray, it makes it easy to meditate, it makes it easy to exercise, it makes it easy to have a conversation, even if that conversation is with yourself, even if that conversation is one-on-one you with the spirit man.

Ric Gressel: 33:11

It’s a beautiful space to be deal with the spirit man.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 33:17

It’s a beautiful space to be. Well, because we’re working with humans and humans evolved a certain way in nature, moving their bodies and connecting in communities for survival. So when humans were together in nature in community, surviving, they had to rely on each other and had to understand the surroundings. But additionally, there’s an energetic relationship happening. When you’re with somebody in a space, you can understand more about who they are in the world and more about the world around you and yourself, because you’re having ideally honest communication but you’re having an energetic exchange. Also, you can read body language, you can feel them.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 33:59

People tend to open up and be more authentic. I mean, people can lie to each other’s face, but online people being false about who they are is a common experience, right. But if you get a group of people in a room together and you and I have been in small spaces and massive spaces with hundreds or thousands of people you see a different experience, you feel a different experience. You understand humans in a different way when you are sharing a space together, if you’re moving your body, if you’re having conversation, if you’re making connection, if you’re out in nature. So a lot of this work that you’re doing with youth in particular. Can you speak to that, because I know that is near and dear on your heart as well? What’s guiding you towards that work?

Ric Gressel: 34:52

The twinkle in their eye towards that work. The twinkle in their eye, they’re our future. Oh yeah, they motivate me. Um, I always, you know, I learned in theater and I learned in doing public speaking that when you can hear a pin drop, you mustn’t feel compelled to try to shake people to say I want you to hear what I’m saying. That when you can hear a pin drop and they don’t necessarily react, you can’t see facial like uh-huh, like we’re doing that, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh, just stoic. They’re listening and I promise you hey to see those. Talk about vulnerability, hey, 16, 17, 18 year old. Talk about vulnerability, eh, 16, 17, 18-year-old young men, young women who just want to do right for themselves, do right by their parents, no doubt, and by their community. But they’re just trying to figure this thing out, just as you and I are, and the thing that I drop for them is truth, the thing I drop for them is discipline, self-discipline, not to be disciplined.

Ric Gressel: 36:00

Tuck your shirt in before madam or principal or headmaster, as we call them, tells you to tuck in your shirt, because then you can be creative. Once you’ve set the standard of making your bed and you set the standard of doing the dishes and making sure you clean up after yourself, then it’s easier to be creative and innovative. It’s hard to be creative and innovative if you still got chores to do, if you keep getting talked down to because you’re not delivering. But now, once you’ve delivered, even if you’re a C average student or you’re not maybe the smartest student, but you’ve done what everybody can do. You got the small stuff right. Everybody can make their bid, everybody can clean up after themselves. Now you’re at least on the basis of what’s next, and your what’s next is what they do so well. They’re so innovative and so creative because they use their imaginations, and some of them through technology, there’s no doubt about it. But a lot of them just.

Ric Gressel: 36:56

You know I work with them, oftentimes on the playground. I work with them, you know, in obstacle course racing I work with them, you know, most recently, for example, before it was a pep rally, as we call it before their inter-school athletics event De Vilges, de Vilges School. And we were De Vilges, de Vilges School, and we were, you know, parents and me, as we were there this pre-internet generation, you know just listening to their, listening to us, and I was obviously the only one speaking, but the parents would react in the whole bit. And I’ll tell you what. When it was done after 45 minutes, and the cheers that they gave each other and the spirit with which they left that outdoor venue was just electrifying and they took it all. They won more medals than they’d ever won. They exceeded their expectations. They had five school records the next day and shot, put javelin, 400 meter hurdles.

Ric Gressel: 37:58

They just killed it because, as I told them, I’m not here to give you technical expertise. You’ve got coaches that can do that for you. I’m here to work on that mind and heart, the will and the determination. That’s what I’m here to work on. And it just gives me goosebumps. Talking to you now, sam, that I know that every time I do a school talk, that is just preparing me for the next jaded and cynical adult who doesn’t have a twinkle in the eye, who’s given up, who’ve decided that it’s too hard. I take those experiences from the youth and I and I deliver it into the corporates, faith based organizations, whether it be T building, recreational activities, faith-based organizations, whether it be tea building, recreational activities. But that’s what they need. They need more of that youthful spirit of wonderment in order to win.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 38:48

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I don’t know if I shared these stories with you, but I worked with troubled youth for five years 16 to 18-year-olds in my community and it was amazing. It was one of the most rewarding jobs I’ve ever had to work. And these were basically cast out of society. They’d been kicked out of school, kicked out of their home. Some were in foster care, whatever it was. They had been rejected by society and these kids had nothing.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 39:14

However, they wanted and willingly came to this program. So they weren’t, you know, hardened criminals thrown into a program. You know who are. Everybody has a different idea about what that might look like. These kids just wanted a freaking chance and thank goodness these programs exist and people like you and I are willing to do this kind of work, because this is our future. That society is us. They will be taking care of us right. They will be leading the world at some point.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 39:45

But I’m curious. Your experience in my instance with this group and I was also taking them through mental and physical activities to rebuild themselves. Getting them to first understand that they had value, that they had worth, was the biggest hurdle, but the most critical element of building a foundation so then they could look at other possibilities for scholastic, sports life, society, military, whatever they wanted to be doing with the rest of their lives, relationship, right. But because the way they had been treated in society and also by their families who born them into this world, they felt no self-worth, no value. And so a lot of us in society and at large society, is really kind of down on young people and this generation and the millennials and all these kinds of things, as if they’re just a bunch of troublemakers, spoiled brats or whatever you know, stuck on their phones. I don’t buy any of that, honestly. I don’t buy any of that at all.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 40:56

First of all, we created these young people Hello, and we created the society that they were born into, experiencing in education, et cetera, et cetera. And we need to take responsibility. But we need to understand if we want to impact them in a positive way and make change, we need to invest in them, impact them in a positive way and make change. We need to invest in them. The last thing we need to do is disregard them, right? So you talking specifically and I know you do a lot of work with youth and schools et cetera and you know gender-based violence there’s so many things going on in our society that these kids are having to counter on society, on their phones, you know, et cetera, et cetera. What did you see was the biggest catalyst when you were working with youth that allowed them to be open to the possibility for their own life, their own value and possibility?

Ric Gressel: 41:53

I think it was after I had reached out to schools and kind of began the process about 2015, 2016, where I just said let me take this motivational speaking and workshops and team building to some of the youth that I had seen at warrior races, because warrior race is really where it started in 2013. Seen at warrior races, because warrior race is really where it started in 2013. Um, and they would show up at these races and I said, yeah, I’d like to speak at your school. And that’s kind of where it started Not really serious in 2015, 2016, where they were calling on me, they were saying we want you to speak at our school and the ones that were that wanted me to speak at their school, it wasn’t just for them the value that you’re talking about. They understood it as a generational blessing, not a generational curse.

Ric Gressel: 42:43

They saw that they were under siege by the media, by their parents, by their community, and some of it was because of apathy Parents, teachers just complicit with not allowing their children to grow and to recognize what is that balance between the pre-internet era and the current internet era and how can they come together so that social media can be good, so that using technology during COVID, which we had to do, can be good. How can we take those positives and work with it? And I think it came from them, to answer your question. It came from them saying we value what you’re doing and we want to do it for our generation. So it was what we call the prefects, so the student body government, the leaders of the schools, who were saying we want to get Warrior Rick to speak at our school and Sam, I don’t go into those schools lecturing, hey.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 43:43

No, hell no.

Ric Gressel: 43:46

I come in there, you know, sometimes shorts and a t-shirt or tracksuit or whatever, and whether I’m in a formal hall or whether I come in with a little bit of the drill sergeant, but also with that swagger that I know my swagger is from the seventies and eighties. So I’m not saying that I’m swaggering in their generation X or Y real time flavor, that that I’m doing. What, how I speak to my kids and I still have that cool grandfather who can hang out and the whole bit, and that’s what I do. I hang out with them but I tell them make your bed. I tell them, if you’re good in math, why aren’t you helping your brother and your sister who are flunking math?

Ric Gressel: 44:35

These are situations that we refer to in Africa as Ubuntu. Ubuntu simply means I am because we are. It’s a simple thing. It’s what we did, samantha. We did that. We picked up the paper in school because it was on the ground and you weren’t supposed to litter. So we did it in our community and we would even tell the next person you should pick up the paper. I’m still doing that today, but we’ve got people in South Africa and I’m sure you’ve got it in America as well that they’re telling us, no, that I throw the paper out the window because it gives somebody a job. I’m like what? Where does that mentality come from? That value system is so off kilter that we now have to unlearn. They have to unlearn, we have to help them unlearn. Whoever taught them that? Because society is so bad and unemployment is so high that you’re going to give somebody a job by littering littering, no, hey.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 45:43

Well, let’s make a point about this element, with youth and us adults or seniors in the space or whatever, looking at youth and wondering why they behave as they do. Hello, they are mirroring what they have been taught I literally literally oh my gosh, we could just go off on this, but anyway role modeling is a real thing.

Ric Gressel: 46:02

We created the canvas. There’s the canvas Now go and paint with buttons, paint with screen time, but we’ve lost this aspect of the tactile of the go and engage the person. You know you’re not engaging someone with WhatsApp messages because of sensationalism and because someone shared it with you. You’re sharing it, you know, with somebody else. Have you really thought about what that message means and how it can impact the receiver of that message?

Ric Gressel: 46:30

This concept of listening to understand and empathy and not having to say a word is so critical, because this listening to reply is what I’m seeing with a lot of our kids they spitting it out so quick because you know it’s like everything has to be done. No, no, no, no, no. Why do you need to immediately respond? Yeah, and they do it to me. My own children do it to me. They’ll send me a message, sam, and then, after they send the message, they’ll say why aren’t you responding? Yeah, I mean, I’ve sent you a message. It’s like I’m listening, I can see you and I shouldn’t even be seeing you because I should be focused on what I’m doing. But, yeah, okay, I saw you, but can I get some time to just think about it?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 47:12

Yes, engage with it. Consider the options.

Ric Gressel: 47:15

Yeah, yes, consider the options yeah.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 47:16

I need an answer now. So you’re talking about creating space, right Space to breathe. And if we role model space to breathe and process and think to our family members, to our friends, to our community, to our coworkers, to society, as leaders, if we role model that, then that will become what is normal, rather than that instant gratification and also reactionary lifestyle. Right? Are we proactively going about our day or are we reacting to everything that is inbound, being thrown at us Messages on social emails, in the inbox, news here, people telling us whatever their thoughts are randomly like that is gospel, right? Are we reacting to all of that?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 48:08

Are we proactively taking ownership in how am I going to operate my day today? How am I going to think based on my personal values? How am I going to live by my purpose with great intention today through my thoughts, feelings and actions, if I don’t allow time and space for that to occur? And I know your everyday life. I mean it’s not super structured, but you’ve got a big family, you’ve got a lot going on, so somehow you are staying on task with living by your purpose and proactively taking care of your own life. Can you maybe tell our audience and give some tips on how they could maybe take a little more ownership in their own daily practices and live more intentionally a purpose-driven life, like you have.

Ric Gressel: 49:01

Take a sheet of paper, okay With a pen.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 49:04

Homework, hold it Homework, get a piece of paper and pen.

Ric Gressel: 49:08

Yo, okay, let’s go, and pen go Even if it’s a pencil, okay, find your favorite fridge magnet with a nice little motivational saying. I need to get some Warrior Rick motivational sayings to you there in the States. Yes, so we can have some warrior Rick fridge magnets. So writing instrument piece of paper and a magnet, ok, and and put the schedule on the fridge. There’s one thing that hasn’t changed in our Internet society the fridge is still the most popular place to be in the house.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 49:36

Pen and paper schedules. What Get out? I’m the same, I’m totally old school. So what do you put on this thing? Is this the schedule for your day, or the week, or the household?

Ric Gressel: 49:47

It’s the schedule for each child that needs to be picked up at different times. I’m still waiting. I’m still waiting. Do you know why I’m not getting it? We’ll just, we’ll just send you a message. No, you can’t just send me a message, because I’m on a podcast with Samantha Pruitt.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 50:03

Hello.

Ric Gressel: 50:03

Right, so you can’t send me a message because my phone is on. Do not disturb, so I ain’t going to get it. Yeah, what do you mean? How can it be on? Do not disturb, you’re going to miss the alerts. You’re going to miss the alerts. You’re going to miss the notifications. You’re going to miss the. You’re going to miss the red. You get that red exclamation mark. It comes up and says that you must read this. Thank God I don’t read all those things, because that’s what gives me peace.

Ric Gressel: 50:24

So having a place where you can see the schedule and you can look at it from 30,000 feet and you can say by the way, I’m traveling on Friday, I’m not available, so we have to make a plan for that days in advance, weeks in advance. Right, it’s old school, it’s the phone in the wall, old school stuff when we didn’t have a choice and we had to plan and prepare. But what it does for the individual that has to execute the program, they’re comfortable with turning the phone off turning off the notifications, forget about silent, forget about it buzzing in your pocket and it’s causing, like this, nervous reaction in your quadriceps.

Ric Gressel: 51:01

You think it’s from doing exercises, it’s from the buzz on the phone, it’s when you can literally put it away for a day because you were able to schedule and plan ahead of time. There are obviously exceptions to the rule, but just because there’s an exception doesn’t mean you need to use the phone. The exception can be another family member can contact another family member to make the pickup happen. Another, a neighbor, can here. We go right, this is what we’re missing. This is what you and I had. That we don’t have anymore. The neighbor can speak to you or another neighbor to say your dog is out and we just we’re holding the dog. We don’t talk like that anymore. No, no, no, I’m not getting involved with that. We do this. Yeah, speak to the blinds. Oh, look at those people. Those people look at them again.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 51:46

It sounds ludicrous when we say this, doesn’t it? It sounds ludicrous. You’re kind of getting to a point that seems so obvious but yet somehow is completely ignored by a majority of the people, and I would say those of us that got to get a lot of stuff done and are really interested in being, you know, high performing humans in the world doing a lot of different things or whatever. I guess we just understand that the requirement to be able to facilitate all of that is organization, planning, process, communication, etc. If we just went about our days, I call it zombying it’s kind of a negative term but, like you know as a zombie waiting to react to what comes at us. Next, who is running this life? Who is commanding the actions of this body? Who is determining what I do on the daily? It sure is not me if I am waiting to react and not methodically or intentionally moving about my day with purpose, right, and that’s really what you’re speaking to Some basic daily activities and behaviors that allow you to proactively run your life.

Ric Gressel: 53:03

And if you want to run that life.

Ric Gressel: 53:05

You want to run that life to a specific goal? Yes, because we’ve got. We’ve got targets. I call them milestones on the journey. Right, you’ve got these milestones. You need to stop trying to be efficient, which is 10 out of 10 boxes ticked? Right, I’ve checked 10 boxes today, yippee, but you’re exhausted, you’re finished. You actually your mind is ready to explode, but you got the 10 out of 10. Rather, get seven out of 10, and, instead of being efficient, be effective. Effectiveness comes from making some compromises with your to-do list, but not compromising on the end goal. What’s the next milestone? I made sure that I did this particular thing over the other thing, because it’s part of the goal. Certain things that don’t get ticked today can get ticked tomorrow. Yeah, or?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 53:55

not. Maybe some of those things never were meant to happen anyway, right, because life changes on the daily. We have goals, we have big goals, we have a lot of big goals, right, but you’ve got to be nimble enough to adapt as well. That includes your schedule, or reassessing the things.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 54:15

I make lists on the weekly and then on the daily, and I’m telling you every time there’s two or three things that never actually materialize, I just somehow I decided they really weren’t that damn important, right?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 54:28

And then it would be interesting also to look at these lists and say how many of these things on this list are for me, me investing in me, my physical and mental health, my personal goals, my life goals, my professional goals, how many of these things are getting me towards that and how many of these things are me being of service to others?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 54:53

Because we need to have some balance here. We need to have some balance and that’s teaching our youth and our adults, all ages of humans, that they also deserve to have things on the to-do list that are about them becoming a better human being and fulfilling their purpose. And then, yes, once you have done that, you can be of service to others. So, in closing, I want you to give our audience some nuggets, if you will, about what this looks like for you now and your biggest passion moving forward. How are you going to use this passion of yours you have many of them, but this passion towards you know really fulfilling your own purpose in the world. What is that going to look like and how can we spark that, maybe within our audience, as they’re listening?

Ric Gressel: 55:47

The biggest goal that I have right now is to finish two books.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 55:53

Yes, two books.

Ric Gressel: 55:56

Yes, this is going to blow your mind, sam. In my mind I just kept thinking there’s one book, right, there’s one book. There are actually two books. Okay, two books. There’s some overlap, but there’s one book on Thrive, which was sitting there as an e-book, sitting on 12,000 words and very close to coming to its culmination. So, thank you, and your book that you also did with, I’m well aware.

Ric Gressel: 56:25

And the other book is the story of courage. It’s warrior ways, it’s about this whole thing of what it is to be a warrior, and I go back to my childhood and talking about, as we’re talking now, what made me who I am today. So a bit of autobiography, I guess. But this thing of waiting. We’re never really ready, whether you’ve trained or not trained, when you’re at the start line, anytime, you’ve made that decision. The reason why that’s half the battle is because you can still win. Even if you haven’t trained, you can still win, and even if you don’t have all the things you think you need, because we are spiritually equipped with every spiritual blessing we require. Our spirit is ready, but it’s taking that first step. And what’s beautiful about taking that first step? But it’s taking that first step. And what’s beautiful about taking that first step? Writing a book, doing a race, going for the promotion, going after the new romance and a new partner. What is similar around all of those things is that, as you take that first step, like-hearted warriors on the same mission show up. They show up so that they can be the ones to support you. There will always be naysayers, but there are more naysayers who aren’t even at the start line. Most of them are sitting in your head every morning saying you’re not good enough, you can’t do it, you won’t be able to make it. You got to pray them away, you got to meditate them away and you got to physically get yourself to the start line to say you know what, today I’m going to pick up the pen, write on a piece of paper, type this thing out, go to the store that I need to walk the walk that I need to do, talk the talk that I need to do. Whatever it is you need to do at your start line. It doesn’t have to be event-based, just whatever on that day that you need to do, and you will have breakthroughs because you decided it starts with faith. You got to believe you can do it and then, as you do it in the work, that determination, that trenches which is long, that’s a long part of the journey Faith is easier. Faith is a mustard seed. You can move mountains with a mustard seed and you are a warehouse full of seeds, but it’s removing the doubt. You remove the doubt by actually, in the doing, saying whoa, I’ve already done a kilometer, wow, I’ve already, I’ve already written a chapter, oh my goodness, or it’s a slow day. I’ve written a paragraph, but you’ve written something I love. I love what Michael Michael Caine says the actor, because life is full of challenges.

Ric Gressel: 58:53

He says that when he did a play, that he was waiting in the wings to come onto the stage and there was a couple having this fight husband and wife having this fight and the wife threw the chair and the chair got lodged into the door in the wing. So Michael Caine couldn’t get out and so he didn’t know what to do. So he was stuck in limbo and the director said well, do you know what you need to do in that situation? He says no, I don’t know what to do. He says you must use the difficulty. If it’s a comedy, pick up the chair and smash it, right. And if it’s a drama, well, maybe if it’s a drama, you pick it up and smash it, and if it’s a comedy, fall over it, right, there you go, and so you’re using the difficulty in life.

Ric Gressel: 59:36

So, whatever that challenge is, it’s almost like what I tell kids all the time we don’t know the script. I tell people who are doing presentations we don’t know the script. Keep it moving, keep it moving, keep it moving, get your wits about you. But, as you said, work the audience, use the audience, use the difficulty as part of the experience. So the best advice I can give anyone is to have faith right, which is really the easy part. It just means that you tell yourself you’re going to do it and then do the work and know that it’s worthwhile. But the while, it takes time, but it’s a value. Just stick at it, stay at it and know that like-hearted warriors will show up to help you with the difficulty, to help you to get through and make it fun along the way.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:00:18

I love it. We’ll show up. I know you’ll be there.

Ric Gressel: 1:00:22

We always show up, Samantha. We show up in the most difficult circumstances.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:00:26

Yes, we do.

Ric Gressel: 1:00:31

Fortunately we’re not at war, but it’s like you and me. We always got to have these big backpacks on and all these freaking nutritional supplements.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:00:36

You never know what’s going down. You never know what’s going down. You never know what’s going to happen here.

Ric Gressel: 1:00:41

How can people find?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:00:42

you. How can they follow?

Ric Gressel: 1:00:43

you, warrior Rick, I’m not a worrier. Just tell your people I am not a worrier, I am a warrior. So, warrior Rick, and that’s R-I-C, because it’s short for Ricardo, I don’t put a K on the. Rick. So it’s just Warrior Rick and that’s R-I-C because it’s short for Ricardo. I don’t put a K on the Rick, so it’s just Warrior Rick and that’s on Facebook. On Instagram is the Warrior Rick because somebody tried to take the name. What was that about?

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:01:07

I’m a the Samantha Pruitt and I thought that was hilarious.

Ric Gressel: 1:01:10

Like okay, the Warrior Rick Another.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:01:11

Samantha Pruitt Exactly. And we’ll put your links in the show notes for sure, and people will follow you because you’re so fun to follow you’re just having fun.

Ric Gressel: 1:01:23

I’m so much love, so much love you’re on tiktok now damn, and the influence on tiktok is growing because tiktok makes it easy to have fun. So I’m having. I’m having a good time and I love, love it when people get stuck on TikTok on motivation, because as much as yeah, it might be a distraction, you might procrastinate, at least you are getting some wisdom and you’re getting some food for thought, so it is positive.

Coach Samantha Pruit: 1:01:45

All right, my friend, we’re gonna wrap this up. I wanna just say to our audience thanks for joining us, being with Rick and I today, Two beautiful humans who love you so much and remember how your life feels is more important than how it looks.