Polly Mertens: 0:21

Hey superstars welcome back to the Everyday Awesome Project. This is Polly Mertens, with my guest today, val Brego or Valentina Brega, nice to have you on today.

Valentina Brega: 0:31

Thank you for having me on. What a treat.

Polly Mertens: 0:34

What we do here at Everyday Awesome Project is we help people find their awesome, remember their awesome and find it in every day, if you will. When we started this podcast, one of the things that we saw as we were listeners and followers of podcasts and people being interviewed is everybody interviews the bestselling author or the Stanford PhD or the Olympian, and we felt like there was awesome people every day around us, and I think you’re one of those people, so that’s why I asked you to join us. Thank you, yeah, and I see how you live your life and I learn a lot, and I see a lot from the way that people describe their life, the words that come out of their mouth, how they live their life, and so I’ve been a student of you for a little bit, but I wonder if you could tell people who you are a little bit about yourself, and your journey is wonderful. So if you want to die right in, not only to what you do in career or where you live right now, but tell us the backstory. So who is Val?

Valentina Brega: 1:33

It’s a good story. I’m actually wearing a lot of hats right now. First of all, I’m a mother of two wonderful, beautiful daughters. I’m a wife. I’m also an entrepreneur. I’m also an immigrant to the United States. We came here five years ago. I’m wearing a lot of hats. Am I missing something? And I’m just, I’m a woman. I’m a human being. You know I’m not perfect. There’s a lot of ups and downs in my road. I’m still a learner, so that’s just a lot of what makes me me. But yeah, you’re right about the journey.

Valentina Brega: 2:08

I moved to the States in 2018 with my family it was actually my husband and my daughter, who was one year old at the time. My oldest daughter, the second one, was born here in the States and we had to start life basically from scratch again here in the States. And I’ve been to the States before. I was an exchange student before. I lived with a wonderful host family. I even went to college to the United States and it’s completely different when you have a system or someone taking care of you. You know, when I came here before, I knew where I was going to stay. I knew the whole plan.

Valentina Brega: 2:41

So now, in 2018, we come here to the States, we find out we can’t access our funds from home because we have to go back to home to present ourselves face to face at the bank. So they know it’s us and I said we can’t do this, we’re going to lose our green card, we just can’t do that. So, yeah, the reason we moved to the States is because we won the green card lottery, so we just took the chance. We’re like, let’s see what life holds for us there in the States.

Valentina Brega: 3:04

So when we got here and we realized we can’t access any of those funds and we only had $400 in our pocket, with a family of three with no place to live, no car, no jobs, no insurance, we had to learn everything from scratch, even though I’ve been to the States before. But we had no credit history, no insurance. No one trusted us with anything because there’s nothing to show our previous history or anything like that. So it was the most stressful period of my life, but I think, looking back, it was the most transformative period of my life. I found out more about myself going through this journey than I have in all my 30 something years that I have in here. So I am very, very grateful, looking back, that I have had that opportunity Very grateful.

Polly Mertens: 3:57

You know, I’ve heard you tell this story because you have a podcast of your own and we’ll go to get you know we’ll share that and so everybody can find you know how to reach you and continue to listen to you, because I think you, just you know for your young years you’re about half my age you definitely have lived a lot of life already and you are, like you said, a perpetual learner and student and I think there’s some wisdom, like you’re saying, in that journey. So you know a lot of times when you’re on, because a lot of what you do has to do with real estate. That’s a little bit of how we know each other and virtual assistants and things like that. But let’s go behind the scenes a little bit to that story that you’re talking about. So this phase in your life, so what, the country that you, you hail from, what was your home country? What’s it? What’s it called?

Valentina Brega: 4:40

I was born and raised in Moldova. It’s a very small country in Eastern Europe. It’s about the size of Maryland. Not a lot of people know it. In fact it’s actually the least traveled to country in Europe, so not a lot of people have heard of that. It’s not the Maldives. You know, people sell the Maldives with the beach and it’s no. I wish, but no, that’s not it.

Polly Mertens: 5:01

So, yeah, it’s Moldova when your husband. I have these dreams. So, like he said, you had come to the United States and even that story I’ve heard you tell about how you won the lottery to, if you will, to come as an exchange student. You tried and tried and tried and finally got in and then you know the green card. You know so a lot of resilience in your history and we can go into that, but I want to share.

Polly Mertens: 5:25

So you’re in the United States, a country that you’re, you know, uncomfortable enough. I mean, you speak great English, that’s you know. What you did back at home is you helped people learn excellent English, like you speak. But you come here with a young baby, a husband. It’s almost like your finances were tied, even though you maybe had money. The bank let you access it, so you had $400. You did know a soul, I think. You said your sister lived in the city that you landed, so that was maybe your soft landing. But when I hear that story, if we can dig a little deeper, I’m hearing were there dark nights of the soul that you were going through, like what were some of the thoughts that you were having at that time? Like, were you in hotels, or were you living in your sister’s home or in someone’s garage or in a car, or what was that?

Valentina Brega: 6:15

Yeah, I talk about my story a lot, but no one has asked me that before this part, like so what happened? What did you do? So, yeah, so what happened is we stayed with my husband for what happened, sorry, with my sister for a little bit, and luckily, just so, it happened that they were moving to a house. That was an apartment. So they were moving to a house and they said, hey, we have a couple of months on this lease, you can take it. And they actually had to cover the rent for us in the first month because no one believed, I mean, we would have had zero chance of getting an apartment and it was a very old apartment with lots of mold, even it was. It was not in the best of shape, you know, but it was a roof above our head, which we were grateful for.

Valentina Brega: 6:58

And because she moved, we had absolutely nothing. All we had in that apartment was we had a. She left us a table, two chairs and just some cooking utensils, you know, a pot, something like that. But we had no bed, absolutely nothing. We slept yeah, we slept on the floor, and then we looked on marketplace. We got a bed that was for free. So when we went and to pick up that bed.

Valentina Brega: 7:26

We told our story to that couple and they gave us a wardrobe, like you know. They gave us a dresser also. They gave us some more. They were so inspired and to me it was the biggest. It was so good to finally like we’ll be okay. You know, we have a bed where I know my daughter can sleep comfortably. It’s not raining, it’s like you know. It was tough but it was okay.

Valentina Brega: 7:51

And yeah, we did have some funds put aside. It wasn’t too much, but it was enough to get us covered until we find a job, you know. So that’s what happened and I remember when I luckily, I found a job in one month after being in the States and I still remember now it was September 3rd when I had my interview. I just remember that so vividly because it had such a big impact on me. So, luckily, I found a job and I needed a desk. But I didn’t have a desk, so I used the two chairs that we had. I used that as my desk. I just put I was sitting on one chair, I was having the other chair in front of me, put a box on top of it. So my laptop is a little bit higher, and that’s how I worked for eight hours a day in the closet. And now that I’m looking back, we’ve had quite the journey, quite the transformation, but this is how it started and it’s just that one job that changed everything for us.

Polly Mertens: 8:50

And that’s what you know. Had you, you know, build enough money to, you know, go on your own, and then you eventually started your own business and things like that. But so the title of our podcast is the Everyday Awesome Project and you know, one of the things I hear in your story is that somewhere in there just now, I heard you talk about what I would say I label it as hope. You know, like you show up to that place to buy a bed or to get a free bed, and people hear your story and they help, right, like the beauty of humans, right, helping other humans is what I’m hearing in that moment and that gave you renewed hope, that like, okay, we’re not going to have to go back home or we’re not going to die or end up on the streets or something like that. What were you saying to yourself?

Polly Mertens: 9:37

So how did you in those dark days, in those it wasn’t super clear how you’re gonna do this what were your thoughts or what were you doing every day to keep your head above water, to keep your outlook bright, if you will, for your family? Or was your husband? I was like I was a wreck and he was holding me up or whatever, or did you guys work together as a team, or we’ve put our focus on our daughter and just raising her as best we could. What was that for you? Tell me about that time.

Valentina Brega: 10:07

Definitely. My husband and I worked a lot together and he’s had even a more transformative journey. So I speak English fluently. I spoke English fluently when I got here. He was very hesitant to speak English. He has a thicker accent than I, you know. Just he makes some mistakes. So he was so afraid to speak English. And this transformation was just like you fly or you die, so like it just really threw him into the waters and we had to find a way to make it work for the family.

Valentina Brega: 10:36

But I’m the type of person who focuses on actions. Like I am in the situation where I am and I like to control what I can control. So to keep myself, during those days, I was trying not to lose hope. But what can I do? What kind of actions can I take to you know? So I made a rule for myself every single day, I’m gonna apply to three jobs, no matter what I do like three jobs. And when I say apply to jobs, it’s not just sending in a resume. When I apply to a job, I have to craft the resume, I have to target, you know. I have to tailor it to a specific role. I want to maximize my chances of being hired and I studied finance.

Valentina Brega: 11:14

I applied to all the big banks. I was actually accepted to a couple of banks to work for them, but it wasn’t a work from home position, so I needed to rely on a car, which I didn’t have one, you know. So I mean, we had to. Luckily, there was a walking distance Walmart from us and across the street there’s a target. Now, inside the Walmart there’s a subway. Inside the target there was a Starbucks and I said, hey look, if nothing works out, I’m gonna walk to work. There’s four potential employment opportunities for me here, within walking distance. That’s what we’re gonna do. We just gonna. We can only control what we can control and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. So that’s what I did and I kept applying. I kept applying even if I had to turn a lot of opportunities down. But just keep put in the reps, put in the work. That’s all I could think of.

Valentina Brega: 12:09

And then I ended up working for a real estate investing company which was working from home, and I remember ironically, this is the only tab that I had opened for I don’t know a week at least that I was hesitant to apply to because I have no experience in real estate. I was like no one’s gonna hire me, like why would they hire me? I have no experience and it’s just a waste of time. But I was running out of things to apply to. So I wanted to keep my promise and I said I’m just gonna apply. I mean, what’s gonna happen? Worst thing is they’re gonna tell me no.

Valentina Brega: 12:43

So I applied and to my surprise, I got a phone call back. I spoke with the COO of the company. I told him I have no experience, but he’s like I don’t care about that. I see the drive in you. I see trades that I don’t see in a lot of people. We want you in our company. And that was it. I mean working from home, being home with a baby and finally we would be able to put some money or make some money, cover the rent. As long as we could cover the rent, food and diapers, we were all set. So that was my biggest goal. Like back then five years ago, my goal was to make enough money to cover rent, food and diapers. That’s all.

Polly Mertens: 13:25

And five years later, I know you to be a woman of many goals. So things have grown from there. So let me ask you in. I hear drive, I hear resilience, I hear hope, I hear action. Like where did you develop this? Was this something that you’d had from growing up? Did you see that modeled for you? Did you just have? Did you say like, oh, that’s just one of my gifts, I’m naturally driven or did you have to create that to survive in? Where do you think that came from, all of these traits that you’ve done?

Valentina Brega: 13:59

That’s such a good question and I have an idea. But then I find myself debating that idea. So here’s what I think. I think it comes from growing up in Moldova, because I always knew I wanted more. I did not. I had a good childhood. I was sheltered from all the difficulties that were happening in my family, all the financial difficulties, all you know. I was sheltered. My parents did a good job sheltering me from that, even though, yeah, we still didn’t have a lot growing up. But I wanted more. My dad always said just do well at school, learn English. That’s what he always said. Learn English, it’s gonna open a lot of doors for you and then that’s one way to start a new life. So that’s what I did.

Valentina Brega: 14:44

I focused on that and I wanna say this is what drives me. But then I remember there’s four of us in the family. We’re four siblings and we’re all so different, so different. Some of my siblings don’t share my drive, others they just have different values, different priorities. So I’m not sure if this is the environment.

Valentina Brega: 15:05

I actually think maybe it is something innate in us and now that I have two daughters, I’m trying to set them a good example, give them a good example and make them be appreciative of what they have. But then I’m thinking what if all of this is in ways? What if they have their own personality, their own ego, their own human, their own person, and no matter what I say, no matter what I do, it’s not gonna change that? So sometimes I think that because my parents don’t have the same values that I have, looking back I think I would have done a lot of things differently than what my parents did. My siblings don’t have the same values and my husband says the same thing. He’s very different from his family and his sibling. So I don’t know how to answer that question. Maybe it’s the environment, or maybe it’s something. No matter what you go through, it’s just who you are what you do.

Polly Mertens: 16:00

A little bit of both, yeah, they say, could be the environment or intrinsic things that you’re built with, and I definitely have heard this story. I don’t have siblings, so I don’t have brothers and sisters like you had growing up that you can see now as adults. Their lives look different than yours, right, and it’s largely based on the beliefs that they had Same household, same mom and dad, same living situation, if you will. Why do they turn out differently? If you will, and so some of it is the experiences that we have, the environment and then the stories we tell ourselves about. Oh, what your sister maybe looks at what your mom and dad does and goes that’s great, I wanna be just like them, just as an example, right?

Valentina Brega: 16:44

And you say they’re great.

Polly Mertens: 16:46

I don’t wanna be anything like them, right. Then you said about creating your values, and I love what you’re saying about looking at your. I think you have two daughters. Is that what you said? Two daughters?

Valentina Brega: 16:58

I do.

Polly Mertens: 16:59

But you’re like, what if they are their own spirits? What if they are? What if they come in with their own plans or agenda or life force and you can preach them all you want, right, but they’re gonna interpret, they’re gonna go through their experiences in their own way and you probably already can tell they’re different in each other just because they’re born from you and your husband. They’re already showing this.

Valentina Brega: 17:21

They are I was just gonna say everybody, we all have our own journey and I think at some part, maybe in our soul, it’s a calling, it’s who we’re meant to be, or what draws us, what drives us, and I don’t think anything can change that it is yes, we do belong in a family. Yes, we do belong in a country. Yes, maybe we share some of the mindset, some of the culture’s traditions, but ultimately there’s something so unique about each and every one of us that is just what makes us us.

Polly Mertens: 17:55

It makes us awesome. It makes us awesome, yeah, well, speaking of awesome, because I love that the name awesome is in our show name and in our company, because I could say awesome a lot.

Polly Mertens: 18:07

So, with everyday, awesome what are some of the everyday awesome things in your life? What do you find to appreciate in your life? Not every day is beautiful, or sunshine or rainbows, or you’re in your favorite area, but how do you seek out or do you have any rituals or do you have a reminder to yourself that you remember to appreciate or to find awesome? What might that look like for you?

Valentina Brega: 18:35

I think maybe I need to appreciate it more or more often. Is that a reminder for myself? Because I’m so on the go, go, go, I’m so action focused and action oriented that sometimes I just forget to take a step back. I think the hardest days for me during the week are the weekends, when I don’t have anything planned. It’s like what do you mean? I don’t have I just. Sometimes it’s hard for me to sit back and relax and enjoy this. But when I look back and I realize what a how far along we came, this is nothing short of impressive. So I need to not just ask and put in more work, but also be grateful and show gratitude towards what I already have. And I think this is very important. And in terms of what motivates me, I like to work. I do, but what really motivates me is I have zero. I’m so blessed and I’m so lucky and I have zero excuse not to leave my full potential Like this is what drives me.

Valentina Brega: 19:37

There are some people who would love to do more, but they can’t. Maybe they have, they have something that’s weighing them down. Maybe they are not in the best of the health. They’re going through difficulties, through hardships, maybe they have to worry about putting food on the table, not think about leaving their potential. When I think about this, I’m thinking there’s it’s like the universe or God or anything. It’s like here you have everything you want. What’s stopping you from spreading your wings and doing more and being bigger? Doing more Like there’s nothing, like you have all the blessings in the world.

Valentina Brega: 20:14

The people that I love and care about are happy, healthy. I mean, what else, what else can I ask for? You know, I’m grateful for my health, so this is what really motivates me. I think I have to live on my potential and I have to do more with this to show gratitude. In a way, it is showing gratitude and this is what motivates me. I am. I really, really admire the people who, whenever they have a hardship, they can still continue to work or doing. I’m not the type of person Like if something’s weighing me down, I climb up, I close, I just I can’t do that. So I really appreciate the moments when I can, you know, feel like.

Polly Mertens: 20:57

I can do it, let me ask you. So you know, even though our name is, like every day awesome, like we believe that not every moment is awesome, right?

Polly Mertens: 21:07

There are times in life where we’re not feeling it, we’re not feeling our best. I know you’ve had some illness in the family, getting over some sickness, colds, thank you, holidays or whatever. So or there’s things that are in the way, we have some bad news or which you’ve talked about in your past. How do you find what gets you out of those states? What do you do? So, let’s say it’s you physically don’t feel well, but you need to perform, or you need to do something. Or find yourself maybe in just a little pity party, not if you’re feeling ill, granted, but let’s just say it’s the illness is brought on by your mental state, not your physical state. So you’re kind of talking yourself out of something, either doubt or frustration or something. How do you turn that around? How do you find your way out of not feeling good, other than physical, right away, but not feeling good because you’ve done something, you’ve talked to yourself into it?

Valentina Brega: 22:06

let’s say this is such an important question and I’m so glad you brought it up, because when I talk about how much I like to work, how much I like to grow, how much I like to do this and action-oriented which is all true, I like it, but it didn’t come without a cost, and it’s true I mean I had so many mental breakdowns, I had so many times when I have to cry in order to, you know, to make, to just release this tension, and I had trips to the ER because of panic attacks, because I was overworked, because I wasn’t sure is this a heart attack or am I just panicking? The symptoms were just very frightening and this is my body telling me you need to slow down. So I think I have an awesome life, but not every day is awesome. You’re right, it’s a lot of. I’m just human. I’m not perfect by any means. I wish I could be a better mother. I wish I could. I think I’m a good mom, but I wish I could pour more into my kids. I wish I could be a better business owner, because I think I’m doing okay in our business, but I know I could do more. But it’s just life. You know life is part of you know everything. So it’s. I just can’t do that Like.

Valentina Brega: 23:21

Even last night, both my daughters were sick. One had a very bad sore throat that she couldn’t even swallow water. The second one had a high fever. I could I barely slept last night and today I just have to get back to work while taking care of them in the meantime. It’s hard, but what helps me is listen to your body. It’s okay, you don’t.

Valentina Brega: 23:45

I think we’re focusing too much on comparing ourselves with what we see others describing success. I see other people just crushing their dreams. I’m like, why can’t I do that? She’s a mother too. She does everything. Like, why can’t I do that? And then she talks about her mental breakdown. I’m like, wait, you think you’re being vulnerable, but I understand you. Like we’re connecting on a different level right now and I actually like you even more right now.

Valentina Brega: 24:12

So everybody that I speak with, all the entrepreneurs, everything you see on social media and all of that, it’s true, it’s. I don’t think all on social media is a lie, but it’s just one side of a much, much bigger truth. Nobody wants to talk about the difficulties, the journey, the ups and downs, the finding the courage after you fail to get up and dust yourself off and just try again, and all of that. People don’t really like to talk about it that much. So I think what really helps me during that time is understanding that it’s okay, that it’s temporary, and I need to go through that in order to bounce back. So one thing that I keep telling myself is, when you shoot an arrow, you have to pull back so the arrow can go even faster forward. So pulling back is important. It’s not all gonna be a smooth, smooth sale, smooth ride. That’s what helps me. Just, I’m human.

Polly Mertens: 25:17

You talked about earlier the phase that you went through when you first landed in the United States and how challenging that was. But you learned a lot of lessons like that. Taught you, maybe to be a better human. Taught you to maybe be a better business person, a better wife, whatever. What’s one or two of the things that that phase of your life helped. You know for sure now. What do you know now about yourself, about life or a philosophy that you have that if you hadn’t gone through that phase, you wouldn’t know it in your body like you know it now. It’s one or two things.

Valentina Brega: 25:51

What I learned about myself is the reassuring fact that if I were to lose everything now and get back to having $400 in my pocket again or less, I will be okay. I’ve been through that. I developed this muscle. I will be okay. I know the mistakes I made. I know the steps I took that got me longer to where I am. I can shortcut it now, so it’ll be fine.

Valentina Brega: 26:15

The good thing about being here in the States I know it sounds cliche, but this really is the land of opportunities. It really is. I still think American dream is alive and well and I’m proof of that. And I still think if you apply yourself, you can make it work. So to me it’s just. Maybe there’s a book actually called the Immigrant Advantage, because when you come to this country as an immigrant, your only focus is I’m gonna make it work. So that’s all you see. And everywhere you look, you see opportunities, because that’s all that’s on your mind.

Valentina Brega: 26:46

So I think that’s what I learned from this experience that we will be okay. So that gives me the freedom to experiment, to take risks, to start a business, to do all of this. And it’s not just me, it’s my husband too. He learned along. He had a very transformative journey as well. He also learned a lot during this process. So that’s double the amount that we can do, so we’re okay with that. Also, what I learned about myself is I think I became more compassionate and I give people more chances. Because I was hungry to prove myself, because I was in a position where I would have taken any job and just and if I said myself, I don’t care, I’ll walk to any of the stores or restaurants I can have the most entry basic level job and in three months I will be running that place. They will put me as a manager. That’s just my. I don’t care what it is that I’ll do, but we’ll make it work.

Valentina Brega: 27:48

So because of that, what also taught me is when I see even now I’m hiring virtual assistants for companies here in the States when I see a virtual assistant that’s applying, that doesn’t have experience, probably I would have been like I’m not sure about that, but now I need to see that drive. I recognize that drive. It’s something that I didn’t see before, but now it’s just. I see it, I feel it, I know it, I know what it looks like, I know the way they talk, the words they use. So something about that tells me you’re gonna be great at this job, even though you don’t have experience. You will learn like no one else. So this is what it taught me. I think it grew me as a person, it improved, it developed me as a person.

Polly Mertens: 28:37

If you call it immigrant advantage, is that the name of the book? What? The immigrant advantage, immigrant advantage? Okay. So, valsa, who in your life, or maybe in the public life, lives every day awesome for you? What do you most admire about them? Or what is it about their attitude or the way they carry themselves or any philosophies that you see that like they’re living every day awesome and, like you said, it’s not always awesome, but how they carry themselves, and maybe it’s the vulnerability that you shared, it’s like, okay, they’re transparent with themselves. What’s every day awesome? Either someone in your personal life or in the public life that you know that you admire.

Valentina Brega: 29:15

I’ve been very likely to notice to have a lot of good people in my network. I think this is probably the first time where I feel like I found my tribe. I found people like me, who think like me, who have the same values. So the other ones that inspire me, these are people who what are the traits? These are people who don’t give up. These are strong people. These are people who don’t victimize themselves. These are people who are not afraid to fail and who don’t criticize others if they fail.

Valentina Brega: 29:47

To me, this was big, because I come from a country where I have never, never, met an entrepreneur who admitted to failure because they will look weak in a way. It’s not the case here in the States, or at least with the people that I interact. So I have a lot of respect and I’ve seen so many people. I’ve seen single dads, single moms who have a business, who are trying to make it work and it’s. I like tenacity. I like it’s okay if you don’t have a lot in our network again or if you fail, but it’s. What do you do with what’s happening to you?

Valentina Brega: 30:23

I like tenacity. I like people who put in the reps, and I could name so many people, but these are the traits that they all share and you know them. I mean, there’s some entrepreneurs, some bigger entrepreneurs, some people who are just starting out, but they have this I don’t even know this desire for more, for what’s out there. I think they live life to the fullest. I think they embrace life, they, they, they experience. I like people who experience life. Yeah, they’re up to it.

Polly Mertens: 31:02

They’re not passive in their life, they’re active in their life.

Polly Mertens: 31:04

They’re not like you said, they don’t believe in the victim mentality. They take responsibility or ownership for how things are going to turn out. If they’re not getting the results, they admit it. Like you said, they’re not afraid to admit failure. Maybe they pivot, maybe they change, maybe they try it again something, but it doesn’t stop them. Something that might be a small speed bump will make people. Some people make it into a brick wall and you’re saying not them. They’re like I’m going over it around it. Some, some way we’re, we’re getting to our goal. So I appreciate that.

Valentina Brega: 31:34

And also, besides, besides entrepreneurs, I also get inspired by my daughters, by my kids, because, believe it or not, we learn a lot of lessons. I learn a lot of lessons from them.

Polly Mertens: 31:45

I mean the failure.

Valentina Brega: 31:46

I have a, I have an almost one year old one. She’s about to start walking. She what makes a couple of steps? She falls. Does she ever cry? Or that you fail? No, there’s something so innate to us about, you know. Failing is such a part of of life, like we all. You know, when you start walking, when you start talking, when all of this and the way kids react to that and they just don’t think twice about this the way they make connections, the way they give the, how forgiving they are, and it’s just. I learned so so many things from just observing people around me, and especially kids.

Polly Mertens: 32:24

Yeah, you know and one of the things I want to say about that. So you know, kids are great at having that mindset of learning and failing is okay, right, they’re not put on a you know, the losing team because they can’t walk, you know, and they don’t beat themselves up in that moment, but something as adults, we we learn, you know learned behavior of, oh, get up, stupid. You know like they. We talk to ourselves like like that’s going to help, right, and I don’t think if it’s like if you, as a parent, where do the? You know berate your child or you know, tell them they’re not, why aren’t you walking yet? You know you should be walking at eight months. You know they don’t do that Like we were positive encouragement, right, and we give them as long as it takes right, exactly.

Valentina Brega: 33:13

And here’s another thing Everybody has their own timeframe. Some kids walk at nine months, some kids walk at one year and two months, and so on. So, and when you apply to a job interview, no one’s going to ask you okay, when did you just start walking? Oh, at 14 months. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to go with someone who started walking at 10 months. It doesn’t matter in the long run, right? So it’s the same thing with entrepreneurs. We see some people getting to their goals much faster than we are, and then we view ourselves as the losers, are not doing something right, which is absolutely not true, because in the long run, you’re going to get there. You’re going to get there a little bit later or maybe sooner than someone else, but if you don’t give up, you’re going to get there, and that’s what matters in the long run.

Polly Mertens: 33:55

Yeah, yeah, that’s a necessity, and I find that in entrepreneurship and just in life that it’s never a straight line. Anybody that tells you, oh, point A to point B is linear and it takes XYZ amount of time. Maybe it did for them, right. But it can be very circuitous, it can be bumpy, it can be oh, you got to make a detour to X to get to B, like whoa, that didn’t show up in somebody else’s plan. But hey, guess what? That’s your life. It’s showing up in your life, right? I’d love to share.

Polly Mertens: 34:29

So one of the ways that I want to hear a little bit about the beliefs that you have and the mindset that you have is to ask you a couple of questions. So some of your philosophies are underlying beliefs about life. I’m just going to say a couple of phrases and I’d love for you to finish them. So finish the sentence with one, two, three, whatever comes to mind for you after I say this. That’s interesting. Yeah, so there’s three of them. No, there’s four of them. So the first one is life is. So if I say now life is, how would you finish that? What are one, two, three, as many as you’d like? Life is what.

Valentina Brega: 35:05

Life is meant to be lived. Life is an experience. Life is a beautiful journey. Life is the longest thing we’ll ever have, so we might as well make sure we do it right.

Polly Mertens: 35:29

Enjoy the journey. Right right, all right, next one. So again, answer this with one, two, three, whatever phrases. So I am, so, val, I am. What are you?

Valentina Brega: 35:43

I am a learner, I am curious, I am. That’s so cool. I never looked at myself through that lens or tried to defy myself. I am. I’m very blessed, I’m very lucky, I am always under construction, I’m always working on myself and I am. I don’t know, I am. That’s interesting, I think that’s it.

Polly Mertens: 36:22

I feel like.

Valentina Brega: 36:23

I can describe a lot of adjectives yeah, nice.

Polly Mertens: 36:26

Nice, okay, same same way of answering this, so there’s two more. So answer adjectives where you would describe so people are, people are what.

Valentina Brega: 36:38

People are so capable we have I can go into a lot more to describe here, but I think people are amazing. I mean, think about this we can now discover the depths of the oceans, the vastness of the universe, I mean, with all our flaws and everything we are, and humans. People have achieved this. I think. I think people are a miracle. I think people are innately good. I do think that and I think a lot of people don’t understand how powerful they truly really are and how amazing they really are.

Polly Mertens: 37:18

Yes, yes, indeed, all right. Last one the world is. The world is what.

Valentina Brega: 37:28

The world is not as big as you think, which means people from other parts of the world are just like you. We all have the same same desires, same aspirations, same goals, same thing we want to be happy and live a good life. So people are not that, or the world is not as different or not as big as you think, so you think the world is more loving.

Polly Mertens: 37:56

Yeah, the world is more loving than we might think, or we’ve been. You know the things they show on television right, all the warring or this, and that you know select people might have some opinions that are sort of anti-humanity, thriving and loving each other. But I think you’ve had an experience of the world and you know, sure there’s. You know, if you meet 100 people, maybe 1% or one of them you won’t get along with or, you know, will have very opposing views or will be mean or hurtful or something like that. But on the whole, I mean, like you said, no matter where you go, if you travel not very far, if you travel to especially places where money and success aren’t, as you know, highly rated, let’s say, but connection is, or humanity or people you know being their authentic self, we see that, like you said, people want to shine. They may not know their potential or they may not see it, but they want to do good in the world. I think.

Valentina Brega: 38:59

I think I have met people from every country. I think so, except maybe a couple there, like North Korea. I don’t know anyone from there, but you know some countries. I don’t know people, but everyone, everyone is just a human being. It’s so, that’s it. We’re all humans, we’re all connected. So we all share the same planet, we all share the same home, so we’re all connected. We all see the same sun, see the same moon, breathe air, you know. So there’s. And we’re all mortals, so there’s. Yeah, there’s some beauty in that too, I guess.

Polly Mertens: 39:42

No, as they say, everyone is. Everyone you walk by on the street is fighting their own struggle or in their own battle. You know their own personal whatever is going on, you know, just like 2018, you had a very different life than you do right now. And you know, if we look at our fellow humans and we just give some compassion to each other, right like because we don’t know what we’re going through and I think sometimes we forget to give ourselves that compassion, you know so when we have those dark periods or the harder periods, or you know not feeling so great, or we’re reaching or striving for something that we really want, holding out that hand of compassion first for ourselves, sometimes it’s the most important medicine. Yeah, right.

Valentina Brega: 40:28

We are our hardest critics.

Polly Mertens: 40:32

And we can be our biggest champions if we begin to train ourselves that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s true. You know a little more philosophy. So this is a question that goes to a phrase from Einstein. So do you believe we live in a hostile or a benevolent universe, or one that loves us? So is the universe hostile, or is it one that loves us?

Valentina Brega: 40:55

I think you, you get what you put into it. So I think it’s a good one. It’s I don’t think it’s hostile, I think it’s if you live life right, if you do good things. I think it’s the way you see it. Honestly, I don’t think the universe really cares about you know, am I good or am I bad? It just is, it just is.

Valentina Brega: 41:22

And we, as humans, we are given all of this. I mean, think about this how complex we are as beings. We are given all of this myriad of emotions, all of this, how big our consciousness is. We can do great things, we can do bad things. We have this free will to do anything we want. You know, we have tools that we can use them for good or for bad purposes, I don’t. I’m not sure the universe really cares about it. It just is. It just gives us all of these things. And now what we do with it I think this is what’s impacting our life is what you choose to do with it. So that’s why I think what you put into this, this is what you get.

Valentina Brega: 42:04

If you treat others right, others will treat you right. If you help someone out, there will be a time when you need help and you build these good relationships and these good deeds and, ultimately is what makes you happy it’s, I know. I want to look back and say I’ve lived a good life. I treated everyone with dignity and respect and I don’t care if nowadays this is seen as weak or when we have to be more rude or otherwise. You’re going to be a pushover. I think you have to know your boundaries, you don’t. You have to know when to say no, but you still have to be a kind person and help each other and give a lending hand, helping.

Polly Mertens: 42:48

lend a helping hand to someone Awesome, and I think you know that goes to a lot of, I think, why you started your business, if I can project on you. So you had a role inside of a pretty good real estate company. You were doing great. You were, you know, growing within that team. So, you know, had your own team eventually. So what had you, or what was the inspiration for starting your own business? How did you? What did you tell yourself? What were your thought processes? How did you get this? So now you help other people hire virtual assistants, you help them source them so that they can grow their teams. How did you get into that? What was the what? How’d you go and say I’m going to go do this?

Valentina Brega: 43:34

I think I started listening more to myself because I was. I’ve really, really liked what I was doing. I love the team, I love the company, I loved what I was building. But something inside me said you can do more. And I and I. Again it goes back to this potential. If I know I have more in me and I don’t live up to my full potential, that’s when I don’t feel good about myself. That’s when I had panic attacks and that’s when I had like, when I don’t live life to the way that my soul is saying that you should Okay. So, and everything inside me was screaming you can do more. You came to the States. You can do more, you have all these opportunities.

Valentina Brega: 44:10

And so I wanted to take that risk. I wanted to expand my wings and I wanted to see where my potential can take me and how much you know where I can, how I can grow from there. I needed to step outside of my comfort zone. It was just a such a calling it’s like I just can’t be in the same spot. I have to. And I said you came to the United States. You made all of this way there. You need to step out. You stepped outside of your comfort zone so many times and it’s always been successful. It’s always led you to a good place. You have to do it now. So that’s what I did, which I’m really glad.

Valentina Brega: 44:47

But then I said, well, how am I impacting other people? Because I know of my job, I know exactly how I impacted people’s lives, I know what a difference I made. And I was like, how am I doing this? And I realized I can make even a bigger difference. So I love what I do. I love connecting virtual assistants to entrepreneurs here in the US. So you can say that I worked as a virtual assistant because I was working remotely, I was working on the phone, all of that and not being non-American, I understand exactly the journey that I had to go through to adapt, working on the US market. So I understand what virtual assistants go through.

Valentina Brega: 45:25

Now, being an entrepreneur, I know exactly what’s keeping entrepreneurs up at night, I know the taxes and I know all of that. I know what a big pressure it is on your shoulders to be able to feed not just your family but also somebody else it’s family because they work for you. So I understand the both worlds so well and I said I have to make an impact there and when I get messages from virtual assistants who say, because of this job I was able to buy an air conditioning unit and now I don’t have to work in and I feel comfortable in my own home. And maybe it’s so trivial to someone here in the States, but this is big for someone who’s being able to afford this kind of comfort. So I realize that I can make a much, much bigger impact, not just on VA’s but also on the entrepreneurs here, because they get to protect their profit, they get to have them. It’s not the same cost as hiring someone in the States, as hiring someone internationally. So there’s a lot of benefits that I saw with that and I just felt the calling.

Valentina Brega: 46:32

I don’t know. I always say that the best things in my life they find me, but it’s actually probably just something inside that’s pulling me Like you do more, you know. Just, you got this.

Polly Mertens: 46:44

What’s one piece of advice? So I think there’s a lot of people listening to this who might be sitting inside of a job or in a relationship or wherever they are in their life, a body that they don’t feel good and, like you said, there’s a calling for more right. There’s something that they know they should be up to, but they haven’t, or they’ve tried in the past and it hasn’t worked, or they don’t know where to get started. What do you start with? Or what do you tell yourself, or what were some of the steps you maybe took? How would you share with somebody what your journey looked like, or something that they might do to get started?

Valentina Brega: 47:20

I always say this that no one’s coming To me. This is such a big yeah, but I actually found out about this here in the States and I didn’t understand what this meant. Like what do you mean? No one’s coming. Like how is that a good thing? Like you know, I didn’t really understand what that meant and then I realized it’s no one’s coming to save you, no one’s coming to give you options. No one’s coming to. People can open doors for you, but you’re going to be the one to have to walk through those doors. You have to be the one putting in the work.

Valentina Brega: 47:48

So once I realized that I was like okay, well, I don’t have to be. I always waited to be discovered. And it’s like come on, I’m talented, I know this. Like why don’t people just see that? And I didn’t do anything to put myself out there. And even now I’m still not 100% doing that. I still have that thing of like. Maybe I don’t even know if it’s humbleness or whatever it is, but like maybe not put myself out there or on social media or talk about this all the time, but you’re doing other people a disservice by not talking about what you do and how you can help them. So once this little thing started changing in my mind, that was, that was very transformational. This is that was a big aha moment for me, but it’s so.

Valentina Brega: 48:37

But this is easy to talk about when it comes to career, when it comes to work, when it comes to relationships. This is a lot more complicated. Some people can be in abusive relationships and they don’t, even though you can tell them. No one’s coming like you’ve got to do this yourself, but they don’t have that strength to do it. I know there’s a lot of women who can be in that domestic abuse or violence and it’s like, and it’s you can.

Valentina Brega: 49:04

It’s very hard to break out of that. It’s like imagine you have a plant and instead of watering, giving it water, you give it a little bit of bleach every single day. And then you look at it and say come on, grow. Look, the plant next to you is growing so beautifully. You’re the same kind of plant, you have the same soil, but it’s you’re giving a little bit of bleach every day and it’s so much more work to get it back. You got to take it out of that environment first of all, and then the transformation happens, then the healing can happen.

Valentina Brega: 49:38

So, coming with all of these solutions. What would you say to someone who’s stuck in a bad relationship? I don’t know, I really don’t know. I think that’s why you have professionals, that’s why you have organizations who help the victims, because, no matter what I say, as long as they’re still in that environment, I can easily talk about careers and I can all be a cheerleader. Go, go, go. You got this. What’s stopping it when it comes to work, when it comes to personal, this human I don’t know if that I’m the best person to talk about this- I think that philosophy that you just said is a start right.

Polly Mertens: 50:17

So in order for things to change, first I must change, you must change yes.

Polly Mertens: 50:24

And so what you’re saying is you have to start looking at this differently. If you have any idea that, oh, someone’s going to come save me, something’s going to change on the outer world when the taxes are right, when the real estate market goes up, when the real estate market goes down, when I have this, when I’m older, younger, whatever, I’m fatter than her, whatever. That will change. But what you’re saying is nobody’s going to rescue you. Nobody from the outside are saying so take one step, even if, like you described, inside of a abusive relationship, getting some help, not expecting that person to suddenly change when they’ve never been right, or just sitting in your pot and having bleach poured upon you. Ok, maybe you need to relocate your own pot or get some help. Speak up to somebody.

Polly Mertens: 51:18

I love your story, back to when you went out to get that bed and people. When you told them your story, they were willing to help you. I’m so happy, I’m sure just kind of like wow, thank you. Like the things that come to you, and I think we do live in a benevolent universe that is trying to. I say the generosity. The universe is showering upon us gifts and blessings and some of us have our umbrella up and we just need to put the umbrella down on and let those gifts, those good things, the good will, whether the umbrella is our own thoughts, our own limiting beliefs, our own shame mindset, whatever it is. But what if we thought a little bit differently? What if we believed that we’re the answer that we’ve been looking for? We’re the hero inside of our own journey, if you will?

Valentina Brega: 52:06

It all starts with us and it all starts here. You have to want it. No one else will convince you. You have to know that this is what you want to do. It has to come from you. No one else will tell you.

Valentina Brega: 52:19

Because I’ve had a very good friend of mine was in an abusive relationship and I tried to tell her get out of there. Get out of there. I’ll help you. Run away. Like you know, I’ll stay with me. Nothing, nothing happened until it was her who decided enough is enough. And I was losing sleep over that and I was worried and just checking on her and really nothing happened and she was like I’m afraid, I’m scared. And now she’s finally away and she’s so, so much happier. She’s a completely different person. She finally has that glow in her eyes. You know she’s a completely different person. But it has to start with you. It has to start with that initial seed, that initial first step, and then it’s going to grow into something. Just plant that seed that you deserve better, that you can have better, and whatever it is that you want in personal life, in career life, in everything.

Polly Mertens: 53:18

So good, such a good gem, such a good gem. Well, I want to wrap up on that note, because I think that’s powerful GC wisdom that you just shared. So thank you for that. So I want to close with two things, if we can. One is we always like to summarize the end of our show. You know that we talked about a lot of things, but if you just had someone leave with one thing, like if they fast forwarded to this part of the interview, they got nothing else out of it. What’s the one thing? Could be anything, it could be something new, or it could be something that you’ve already shared. What’s the one thing you would most want people to get out of today?

Valentina Brega: 53:53

I think today was such a soul searching conversation. I don’t think I’ve ever done an interview where we talked about just the more spiritual aspect of things, and so I’m going to lead with this. You can have anything you want. If one person can have it, you can have it. There’s absolutely nothing that makes them better than you. They’re not necessarily smarter, they’re not better in any way. They just put in the work and a lot of good things. I always say that success leaves clues as well. If you want something, just follow their journey, and here’s the good thing about people here in the States. I like how much people share what got them to success, like you know what did you do, how did you do it, and they will tell you. So be curious, search for what you need. The days along, the years are short, and if you can find someone and follow their advice, then you really really can have anything you want.

Polly Mertens: 55:03

So good, val, so good, and I would love to continue soul searching conversations with you in the future, but for today that was fantastic, everything that you’ve shared from inside your heart, from the journey that you’ve been on. It’s beautiful to watch and to witness and such a young woman with such a bright future and the things that you’ve already learned and how that’s going to shape your future and your children’s future. And you’ll continue to fall down and have tough moments and not always awesome and things like that. But, like you said, you’ve learned so many things already that you could shortcut it. Even if somebody stripped everything away from you, you’re like that’s OK, I still believe in myself, I know what I know and I do it even better if you will.

Polly Mertens: 55:44

So, would you share with people a little bit about your business maybe the business name, how they can find you, Because I know you have a wonderful podcast as well. If they want to hear more from you on that, tell us how they can find you.

Valentina Brega: 55:57

So the name of my business is HireTrainVAcom. It’s very simple. We hire and we train virtual assistants, so it’s very easy to remember HireTrainVAcom. And, just like the name suggests, we find virtual assistants, we train them for certain positions, so you can just take, plug them in and then they can put in the results that you’re looking for. So that’s what we do.

Valentina Brega: 56:22

I’m very proud of the team that I have. They’re all virtual assistants from around the world Absolute A player. So I really, really believe in this concept that there’s a lot of talent worldwide and my team is just so grateful to be able to work for me and work on the US market. So when you find your talented person, you are impacting someone’s life and that’s what we do and I absolutely love. And, yeah, you can easily find me. The podcast is called Built With VAs. I share about how you can build a business with the help of virtual assistants and we talk about everything how to write a contract, how to pay, just everything. And if people have any questions, I’m very open to know what is it that you need so I can give you that information, if I have it. So that’s the podcast Built With VAs. I’m also they can find me on Instagram Valentina Brega. Facebook, so very. And YouTube channel as well Valentina Brega.

Polly Mertens: 57:16

I just want to give a plug because I have worked with and had amazing results from virtual assistants that I’ve worked with probably for the last 15 years. So huge fan of what you do, huge fan of your exact process. I’ve talked with you offline about you have such a rigid filtering. You accept maybe 2% of the people that apply. I mean, take that time out from people who are trying to do this on their own. Huge service, huge service. So I hope people, if they are looking to grow, will definitely consider virtual assistants, because it’s a way that I’ve grown businesses myself and I can’t speak highly enough of you as a person and knowing you and your standards of excellence and your commitment to integrity and really bringing out the best in people, and so I just want to commend you on the work that you’ve done and will continue to do.

Valentina Brega: 58:05

Thank you so much, really appreciate it.

Polly Mertens: 58:08

And for those of you listening, I just want to remind you, as we always do here at the Everyday Awesome Project, remember how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome Seriously. Thank you. Join our 500 listeners. Thank you to all the involved.